Let Them Speak

I managed to make it through to Drama, where I sat and wrote down the rest of my monologue, doing some changes, then listening to other perform rough drafts, they had work to do. No one was being serious about it, and I was too tired to even react to anything. I couldn’t even give advice to help anyone. Instead I just leaned back and closed my eyes, somehow managing to block out the emotions around me so I could doze off a little.

I heard Addison get in late and Mr. Lison grunted with disapproval but he didn’t lecture like he would’ve. He was focused on making these performances tear jerking and amazing.

I opened my eye a slit when I felt someone sit next to me and saw Addison, he was watching the current performance with me.

“Hey,” I murmured and fought off a yawn then closed my eyes again. Addison seemed nervous about something, also a little freaked out. I wondered briefly what had happened to change his mood so drastically.

“Hello,” he greeted and I knew he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the right words, or at least thats what I guessed.

“Darryn,” he started and I turned my head to look at him, opening my eyes slowly. And to think I had almost been asleep before he showed up.

“Yes?” I raised an eyebrow and watched as his face(from what I could see of it) had turned a bright red. But he looked determined to get out whatever he had to say.

“About the other day,” he trailed off, and bit his lip.

I nodded to urge him on.

“How do you always know what I’m feeling?” He asked bluntly and I wished he wasn’t wearing those sunglasses so I could actually see his eyes. I wondered what color they were today.

I closed my eyes again and everyone’s emotions rushed in, I could feel everything. I picked out Addison’s, he was curious, perhaps a little scared.

“It’s a gift I have, I pick up on little things and I can decide what people are feeling from body language, voice tone, stuff like that,” I lied smoothly. There were people who could do that, why not me?

He didn’t believe me, I could feel the doubt.

“How did you know where Haven and I were?” He asked the big question and I had to think of a quick way to get out of it.

“I saw you guys leave and thought I could help or something,” I trailed off and even this time, he doubted my answers.

For a moment, I saw his eyes flash to behind my head and I quickly looked behind me, no one was there.

He mouthed a single word and I was suddenly scared, or angry, or both.

“What did you just say?” I asked, sounding breathless.

Addison looked alarmed, he hadn’t realized he had mouthed the name. His face reddened again.

“Nothing,” he said quickly.

“You said Karen, why did you say Karen?” I hissed and fought the urge to grip a part of his body, anywhere to try and influence his mouth to work. And to keep a grip on something solid while my whole world tipped to the side violently.

He pursed his lips and again I wished I could see his eyes. I grabbed his arm and stealthy dragged him from the room and outside, he didn’t really try to stop me either, I guess he could see the crazy look in my eyes.

“I didn’t say Karen, Darryn,” he said once we were outside. I reached up and took the glasses off his eyes, fear slide into his other emotions, and he reached for them, but I managed to get them off. They were bright yellow today.

“Say that again,” I whispered, and fear flashed in his eyes.

“I didn’t say Karen,” he said and his voice didn’t waver but I saw his eyes flick to the right, which was one of the signs of lying I had seen on TV. A documentary about lying that told the several signs of lying.

I leaned forward and eased the sunglasses back onto his face, then turned and walked through the parking lot without a word or a look back. I knew I shouldn’t leave school, but I had to go.

I walked all the way to the cemetery and dropped to my knees in front of the grave I knew the exact placing of. Chris Gallows. I fisted my hands in my hair, the date said 2006. It was hard to believe it would soon be 4 years since she died.

“Fuck Chris, why couldn’t I just save you?” I cried for a bit, violent sobs tearing at my throat and lungs.

“I added you in a monologue I’m writing for Drama, it’s a pretty good. Better then anything I’ve written before. You always said I’d be a good play writer, I might go for it hun. Dad doesn’t approve of it either. But hey, it’s fun and all. And then there’s this kid, Addison. I’ve never seen his real eyes, he doesn’t talk much, he never takes off his sunglasses and he said Karen’s name today. No one knows about Karen, Chris. No one but me and dad. And you I guess,” I murmured and tipped my head forward to lean it against the cold stone. It was polished and magnificent, but it didn’t fit Chris. She would’ve been happy with a little plate in the ground, not this big fancy slab of marble.

“I miss you,” I whispered and talked about everything that had happened in the last few months since the last time I came to visit her. It felt almost normal again when I closed my eyes, instead of talking to a stone, I was talking to Chris and I could even hear her laugh.