Let Them Speak

You know, I’m exactly sure how I got home, I’m guessing I walked, but the night was a blur. I had that drink with Lacey, we danced, then I drank a bit more, danced a bit more, kissed Lacey, drank, then somehow I walked home and got into bed.

I woke with the sun in my face, my clothes wrinkled and smelling of smoke, alcohol, and sex. The lights were too bright, so I put on a pair of sunglasses and then changed my clothes and looked at the time, it was 11 in the morning. I yawned and walked downstairs, made myself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table, sipping at the cup of energy.

Addison should be here in an hour, if he listened to my instructions. The funny thing was, I would find out where he lived just to drag him back to my house.

I sat around for half an hour, then went up to my room and cleaned up that mass of clothing and garbage. At noon, on the dot, my doorbell rang and I thumped downstairs to let Addison in. He didn’t look happy to see me. He had dark circles under his eyes, his skin was paler then usual, and his entire “emotion aura” was angry. I led him upstairs and we sat on my bed. I took off my own sunglasses and stretched, then grabbed a notebook and pen.

Crawling very slowly,
The caterpillar in the tree,
He suddenly starts to cry,
Waiting to turn into a butterfly.

I etched the phrase carefully into the paper and bit the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. Karen used to be into poetry and this had been my favorite verse of everything she had ever written. So she decided that whenever I was upset, she would sing or just say it and cheer me up.

I switched to another page. Addison hadn’t seen what I had written either, he was too busy taking in my room. It was bare except for my bed, a closet, a desk with a chair and lamp. I hadn’t even put up any posters. The only thing on my wall was by the foot of my bed, a couple pictures of Chris and Karen. He looked at those intently.

Surprisingly, there had never been any family pictures given to me, and the only pictures Chris and I had taken together were plastered in a book that was hidden under my floorboards.

“So what emotion should we convey?” I asked and when he didn’t say anything, I pouted.

“Betrayal and desire,” I thought aloud and wrote it down and even then Addison didn’t say anything. He still looked pissed. I wondered if I should make him happy or something, then thought against it. He was already suspicious as it was.

“So, did you go to Molly Baros’ party last night?” I asked, trying to create small talk. I set aside the notebook and drew my knees up to my chest then wrapped my arms around them.

“Yeah and I was there when I saw you and Lacey practically having sex in the living room,” he snapped and I flinched. It was actually the dance floor I wanted to say and correct him. Instead I frowned.

“It was dancing Addison,” I told him slowly and he frowned.

“What do you even like about that whore?” He snapped and I felt his anger rising. But I’ve gotta say, he was pretty hot mad, I never seen him like this. I smirked.

“So now you’re calling Lacey a whore?” I found it slightly amusing actually. He was fuming.

“Stop changing the subject Darryn!” He shouted and I dropped my smirk.

“I-”

“How can you even love someone like Lacey?” He asked, I could tell he was still pissed, but he was trying to calm himself down. I unwrapped one arm from around my knees, and stole Addison’s sunglasses. Panic coursed through the air and I used this time to stare him dead in the eyes.

“I don’t love her Addison,” I said truthfully. Not once had these words been said out loud. Addison stopped on his rant and his jaw dropped.

“What?”

“I don’t even like her. She’s a bitch, cold-hearted, and self centered.” I ranted and it felt good to say these things, because it was true.

“Then why are you even with her?” He asked, no longer concerned about his sunglasses and his anger from before was forgotten. I closed my eyes for a brief moment then thought, what the hell. I could trust Addison with anything right now, and if he said anything about it at school, it was his word against mine. I opened my eyes and looked past Addison.

“She’s a cover-up. After my mom and sister died, my father couldn’t deal with the fact that I was gay, so I got together with Lacey and pretended I wasn’t,” I said and smiled weakly. Addison looked speechless.

“Karen,” he said, it sounded a little like a question. I got a wave of shivers and stared at Addison.

“That was my sister. I didn’t say her name, how do you know it?” I asked and I felt weak, really weak, like I couldn’t even stand up if I wanted to.

“I-”

“Don’t even try to lie to me Addison, I know when you lie. Tell me the truth, how do you know about my sister? It wasn’t in local papers, I never said her name , and no one but my dad and I know about it.” I say sternly and grip his wrist tightly. He winces and I think I’m hurting him, but I need information and I’m not about to let him run off and leave me hanging again.