Let Them Speak

I really would've liked Darryn to stay at my house, but with Danni and everything, I didn't want to take a risk. I stalked into my room quietly. It was still pretty early, plus I was pretty sore. Darryn was just amazing in bed! I could spend my whole life doing that with him!

I pushed my door open and closed it silently. I crawled into bed, pulled the covers up to my chin. I curled my body into a ball and waited for sleep to come. What I didn't expect was a dream.

"You can be anything you want to be." My mom smiled as she looked over her shoulder at me. I realized I was back on the drive to when I'd first moved here. I wanted to be an actor and I was telling them about the great Drama program my new school offered. My dad was completely opposed.

"Don't tell him that!" My father was driving. Even seeing him in a dream -whether he was being a dick or not- was to much for me. He was tall, slender and had the same dusty blond hair as me.

"Why can't I be an actor?" I asked. The dream focused in on me and I realized that this was before the accident. I didn't have any ghost seeing abilities. No sunglasses, contacts, or hoodie. I was just plain old Addii.

"Because, most actors are homos." My dad said it like it was a casual fact. He didn't know I was gay, but he wouldn't be to happy about it. He wouldn't hit me like Darryn's dad did, but he'd be pissed off. But, he would've gotten over it.

"That's not even close to true, David!" My mother shouted. I leaned back and sighed. And I remembered that in that exact moment, I'd been wishing that they'd die. Now, I regretted it. I should've done what they liked. I should've told them I loved them.

"Oh, it's not?" His tone was sarcastic.

"Jesus! I'm doing Drama and there's nothing you can do about!" I was going to throw a fit- a sure way to get what I wanted.

"You will do as I say!" And that's when I said what I most regretted. I would give anything to see them again. To tell them I was sorry.

"I hate you! I wish you'd die!"

I woke up in a cold sweat. It was Wednesday morning and still no school. They'd canceled it until next week. I grabbed my phone and checked my messages. Three of them.

Jenna:
Hey, wanna meet up later?

Darryn:
I'm alright. Stayed at Lacey's. Don't worry. See ya soon! I <3 u!

Tyler Voda:
Hey. I know you're with Darryn and all, but you wanna hang out?

I bit my lip and checked the clock. It was about eleven. I told Jenna I'd be there about five, told Tyler I could hang out for a little while right now, and then asked Darryn if he wanted to get dinner later. I got up got dressed and headed out to meet Tyler. I felt a pang of guilt, but we were just gonna hang out.

Or so I thought.



I was pushed against Tyler's bedroom wall, his shirtless body pressed against mine. With one hand he held my wrists above my head and was kissing me roughly. And I was kissing back. I didn't mean for this to happen. It just did.

Blame it on grief if you will. But, I needed distractions and Tyler just happened to be that at the moment. He kissed my neck and bit down harshly. The sudden pain brought me back to reality.

"Stop." I muttered. I tried to push him away, but he hardly even noticed. He kept kissing, starting to grind his body against mine. I loved Darryn, not Tyler. I had to stop this. I would tell Darryn the truth. Sure, he'd be mad, but it'd be better than lying.

"Stop." It was louder now, but again, he ignored it.

"Stop!" This time I screamed and started to thrash ,y body, trying everything to get away. He let go long enough to slap me across the face with a lusty gleam in his eyes. Suddenly I realized what was about to happen. I shook my head and tried not to scream.

He grabbed me and threw me onto his bed. He grabbed a belt and fastened it around my hands and then straddled me. He leaned down to my ear, his breath hot and heavy as he whispered.

"Don't even bother screaming." No one will hear you. I felt panic rising to my throat. If I wanted to scream, the noise couldn't be made. I started to move again, but he just punched me in my stomach. With stifled scream, I cried silently as he kept kissing. When he lifted off my shirt, I was praying silently that Darryn could feel where I was, feel I was in danger.

I love you Darryn, not Tyler. This shouldn't be happening. Darryn, please save me.... The thoughts just ran through my head. I wasn't sure if Darryn could feel it or not, but I loved him. I needed him now more than ever.

For once, I felt hopeless.