Let Them Speak

I heaved a sigh and set down the half-a-monologue I had written and returned to where I had been standing on the stage before Addison decided to talk to me.

“You know whats screwed up? I blame myself for everything that happened to you Karen. No matter where I am, someone gets hurt. I’m sorry I got you caught up in the crossfire. You were young and beautiful, then your skin melted away like a cheap doll. You took mom with you too, at least you had someone to go with. Chris was alone, dazed and drugged. Jealousy stole her heart and her life, I blame myself for that too. How can you guys ever forgive me? You were banished to the world of darkness, and here I am pretending to live without you,” I could feel real tears in my eyes, but I kept them at bay.

I needed this to be good, and I didn’t need anyone to think that this was from a real past experience. And thats when I noticed Mr. Lison was sitting in the back, watching my performance. He rolled his hand in midair, gesturing for me to keep going. I nodded slightly. That was all I had written, but I’m sure I could come up with something else.

“Karen, my little baby, my angel in disguise, I hope you’re at peace now. Chris, my gentle mentor and friend, the only person I really felt anything for, I hope you’ve overcome your hatred. I know you had a few grudges to settle, your mother left you, your father forgot you with liquor, then he goes and does the terrible. He pretended to love you, and when he found out that we were a little more then friends, he got the wrong idea and decided to make you pay. You didn’t scream, you didn’t cry, you didn’t beg, you simply laid still and let the flames eat away at your beauty. They wouldn’t let me in the house, I could feel you still breathing, you were still alive when I got there. Had they of let me in, had I of fought longer, more, you might still be alive today.” I closed my eyes, I could see the fire, the house, then the smoking body bag they brought out hours later. I felt sick all over again.

“And Lacey, you’re beautiful and smart, I say that I love you, but I really don’t. I can’t stand your voice, I can’t stand your skin on mine, I hate everything about you. Your skin, your eyes, your hair, your feelings, your everything. And yet here I stand, I’m reciting and dedicating this to you. You look at me with gentle eyes, you know nothing about me. You’re a cover, you hide me from the world and it’s working, but I’m starting to get restless. I’m lost in the dark, I need some light and babe, you’re not going to cut it. But I wouldn’t wish death or any of the like upon you, too much blood has been spilt in my lifetime. Just let it be.” I finished and took a seat on the stool in the middle of the stage.

I rocked my head back and stared up at the ceiling, my breathing heavy, my chest constricted. It felt as if I was going to cry, but I was holding it back. Then I heard clapping. Mr. Lison walked from his perch in the back and walked onto the stage, I could see tears in his eyes. I hadn’t even made him feel anything, like I could have.

“Good job Darryn. Just get that all on paper and your done. Any of that based off of real life? I noticed you used Lacey’s name, your girlfriend?” He peered at me and I was afraid that he’d see through any lie that I attempted to use.

“No sir, I just came up with that off the top of my head and Lacey has such a beautiful name, I thought I’d use it. She’ll be happy to hear her name in something I’ve written.” I smiled at him, then slid past him, grabbed my half-written monologue and left the mini theater. I went into the back parking lot and leaned against the wall. People came back here to smoke, and at the moment, I kinda wished I had a cigarette. I’ve never smoked in my life, but I’m sure it would help these little hysterics I found myself experiencing.

I took a deep breath and started to walk around, then stopped in the middle of the parking lot, my body began to tremble a little.

It was hard to explain how someone feels and how their “scent” is left behind. It’s like, when you have a light in a darkroom, when you turn off the light you can still see the trace of where the light had been, then it starts to disappear.

I could just barely feel what these two people had felt. Fear, anger, sadness, the need to help. I let it wash over me again, one of the traces was Addison. I wasn’t quite sure how I knew, but I did.

And like a hound dog following the scent of a blood trail, I could track these two people all the way to where ever they had gone. I took a moment to consider it, Addison would ask questions that I couldn’t answer and the other person would be confused. I looked down at my feet and noticed an actual blood trail. It was faint, but it was there.

I gathered my courage and followed the trail of feeling and blood, and came to an old theater. It had been abandoned for years. I snuck inside and began to walk up the aisle. I saw a girl on the stage, I’m pretty sure her name was Haven, she hung out with Addison didn’t she? Where was he?

“Addison,” I called out into the musty, old air. But I continued to walk forward. Haven was sitting up now, her eyes trained on me, I could see questions building up behind her lips.