Maybe This Christmas

I know it irritated a lot of people. I constantly heard the complaints that every uttered as soon as the first notes of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer or White Christmas or Silver Bells were played through the speakers only the day after Thanksgiving, and sometimes even before. But to me, that was the best part. I loved hearing Christmas music; without it, I wouldn’t get in the holiday spirit. Without it, it wouldn’t feel like Christmas.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I didn’t love everything about the holiday season. I hated to wrap presents, and I hated how grumpy people were when they were out shopping for those last minute gifts. I didn’t particularly enjoy the loud, drunken conversations my entire family partook in during all the family functions either. But I dealt with it because I loved everything else about Christmas time.

I really enjoyed the traditions, too. I enjoyed how every year, my family went over to my mum’s best friend’s house and we exchanged gifts. We had done this for as long as I could remember on every Christmas Eve. It was a nice tradition, especially because I loved the Franceschi’s, but this year was different. This year I actually had plans with my own friends, and I wasn’t planning on breaking those plans.

When we got to the Franceschi’s residence, my mum, my dad, and myself all with our gifts in hand, I figured we had arrived early enough that I could make an easy escape halfway through the night. Of course, I had to snag Josh and bring him with me, but that wouldn’t be a problem at all.

The thing was, the group of friends I had basically just consisted of Josh and his band plus the boys’ girlfriends with a few odd people here and there. I had known the boys since I was growing up, thanks to my mum and Mrs. Franceschi, and now that they had pretty steady girlfriends I no longer felt like the odd ball out. And this year, thanks to those girls, we had all planned a cookie baking party.

The lads had moaned and groaned about the idea at first, but once we explained it was simply just decorating sugar cookies under the influence of some alcohol if we were lucky, they quickly warmed up to the idea.

Unfortunately, we had planned the party on Christmas Eve without thinking, so now Josh and I had to figure out an easy escape.

I swear. The lengths I go to just to have a semi-normal social life.

But I digress.

I really did enjoy the Christmas get together we had every year, regardless of it’s bad timing this year, and because of that I planned on enjoying myself up until the moment I had to stress about escaping early.

When we entered the Franceschi household, Anne greeted us. After saying hello to my mum and dad, she turned to me, seeing as she hadn’t seen me in so long. “Ashley! Stop growin’ up, will yeh?” she mock-scolded me. “Yeh get prettier every time I see yeh, I swear.” She shook her head and looped her arm through my mum’s and said, ”Come, come I’m just finishing up dinner.”

I laughed as I watched them walk down the hall towards the kitchen, while I myself made a left into the living room, where Elissa, Josh, Mr. Franceschi, and my dad were all sitting around watching TV. I quickly collapsed on the couch next to Josh.

He smiled from next to me. “’lo love.”

“Hi yourself. Hope you’re ready to bake some proper wonderful cookies tonight,” I informed him quietly, patting his knee gently.

“Bake? No. Eat? Of course,” he grinned, ruffling his hair as per usual.

I just laughed and rolled my eyes, then remembered who had picked my name for gift exchanging this year. I turned to him with a broad smile. “So, what did you get me?”

He rolled his eyes. “Who says I got you anything? Maybe it’s a lump of coal.”

Reaching out, I ruffled his hair affectionately. “’s long as you got me a gift.” I winked before climbing off the couch and heading into the kitchen to see what my mum and Mrs. Franceschi were up to.

***

When dinner was finished and we were all gathered in the living room, we were ready to swap gifts. My mum had Mrs. Franceschi, my dad had Mr. Franceschi, and I had both Elissa and Josh to make it fair. Every year, we switched who got my gift and this year it just happened to be Josh.

We handed our gifts over and then the oldest person went first, which was my dad, followed by Mr. Franceschi, then Mrs. Franceschi, my mom, Elissa, Josh, and I went last. I was a measly two months younger than Josh, and he liked pointing this fact out every chance he got.

I wasn’t paying much attention to what everyone else got, but rather the box sitting on my lap. I had absolutely no clue what it was, which was the best part. I loved surprises.

When we finally got to the kids, Elissa went first. She laughed at my pathetic attempt at wrapping and I shrugged. “I hate wrapping presents!” I defended myself.

She shook her head. “’s no problem, Ashley. I just feel like you get worse every year, so why don’t you use gift bags?”

I hadn’t thought of that.

She opened her gift and loved the scarf, hat, and mittens, all matching, especially because of all the snow we were getting recently. She thanked me, and then it was Josh’s turn.

“Wonder what it is,” he murmured, shaking the obvious clothing box from side to side and listening to it before tearing the paper off.

I think what he found inside surprised him because for once, Josh was speechless.

It was an authentic football jersey for one of his favorite players on his favorite team. I had never really been interested in football, but Josh loved it and I knew he didn’t have this jersey so I splurged a little and bought it for him. Seeing his face light up told me I had done the right thing, too.

He thanked me, genuinely, and then it was my turn to open my present.

I took no time at all ripping the paper off and opening the box. Inside, I was surprised by what stared back at me.

It was a CD, and it appeared to be blank. But the piece of paper on top made me think otherwise. In Josh’s messy scrawl was a small note saying “read later” so I obliged and dug through the rest of the box. There was a candle that was supposed to smell like sugar cookies and then a little jewelry box that had the same note on it: “look later” it read. I felt like I had to oblige, since Josh was sitting right next to me and all, so I did. I didn’t touch the rest of it, setting the candle back inside the box and thanking Josh.

Luckily, since the exchange was over, Josh and I were free to go. So with my box in hand, we sprinted out the door so we wouldn’t be late to Max’s house, where the cookie baking was taking place.

Josh was driving since I didn’t have a car, so we quickly hopped into his little red vehicle and took off. “Can I look now?” I asked quietly, referring to my present.

He chuckled awkwardly, but nodded.

I took no time at all to grab the CD and note first. I opened the paper and read.

Ashley—
I know how much you love Christmas music, so here’s a CD of all your favorite songs. And just for your listening pleasure, I even through in a few covers of my own. Don’t laugh if they’re bloody awful though, for my sake.
Merry Christmas, love.
Xoxo Josh

I laughed softly and then without even asking I popped the CD into his car stereo. I ignored his protests and played the first track. Soon, the Beach Boys filled my ears with “Little Saint Nick”, my all time favorite Christmas song ever.

I smiled sweetly at Josh before digging back in the box for the small jewelry box I wasn’t allowed to look at earlier.

I opened the black velvet box only to reveal a tiny roman numerical six on a silver chain. “Aw, Joshy,” I cooed. I figured it was in reference to the band, practically the only reason I had friends aside from Josh and Elissa in England.

He smiled. “Get it?” he asked, wondering if I knew what it meant.

“For the band, yeah?”

He laughed and shook his head. But he refused to tell me what it meant.

“Josh, that’s not fair!”

“You’ll figure it out, love.” And that was the end of it. I sighed, ignoring the irritating little feeling in the pit of my stomach at the fact that I didn’t know what the necklace meant and that Josh wouldn’t tell me and focused on the party with friends.

***

Several hours later, the cookies were built and semi-iced. The boys had gotten lazy and started half-assing the whole thing, so Lizzie, Georgie, myself, and Dan’s sister Sarah kicked them out of the kitchen and decided to finish it ourselves. Of course, the boys were persistent and claimed they were hungry, so we would no sooner get the cookies iced and they would eat them.

It was a mess, and the fact that we were all at least slightly buzzed was not helping matters.

When we girls gave up and retreated to the living room, we joined the boys while they played more games of Fifa than they could handle. It was okay for awhile, but then the combination of the disastrous cookie-baking episode with the alcohol was giving me a headache. “Max, do you have any aspirin or something?”

“Upstairs in the bathroom!” he called out from his spot on the floor while he battled it out with Josh.

“Be right back,” I said to the girls and then headed upstairs to get some meds.

I found the aspirin easily enough and dry-swallowed two pills, praying they would make my headache go away.

I didn’t feel like going back downstairs to the loudness of the living room, so I went into what I assumed was the guest room and lay down on the bed. I couldn’t fall asleep because my head hurt and I was distracted by the necklace around my neck, but it was nice to rest for a little while.

Eventually, I heard footsteps and then a light knock on the door, just like I assumed I would. I was gone long enough that someone had gotten sent to check on me. “Come in,” I called out and the door opened quietly.

“Ashley? You okay?” It was Josh and he sounded concerned.

I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed before nodding. “Just have a headache.”

He came further into the room before looking me square in the eyes. When I gave him a questioning look, he smiled. “Just making sure you aren’t lying.”

I laughed softly before Josh took a seat next to me. “Did you figure it out yet?” he asked curiously.

“No. And you still aren’t going to tell me, are you?”

He laughed and shrugged. “You really want to know?” he asked as he raked a hand through his hair and shaking it out.

I nodded softly.

“It stands for six words. I mean, I guess it can also stand for the band since that’s important to our friendship and all, but it stands for six words. That’s the main reason I got it.”

The confusion covering my face was apparent, which surprisingly made Josh blush. “You want to know the six words I’m guessing.”

I laughed. “Well duh, Joshy. Doesn’t do me any good if I don’t.”

He swallowed hard and nodded before getting off the bed. “I sort of had this big plan, y’know? But you’re persistent and you and I’m me so obviously it didn’t work out like I wanted it to,” he rambled. He was nervous, and I’m not sure why.

I got off the bed to stop him from pacing back and forth and I grabbed his wrist. “Josh, you’re rambling. Just tell me,” I demanded easily.

And then he kissed me.

It wasn’t much, but it was soft and slightly romantic and just perfect. But then it was ending, and that very much was not perfect.

“Six words,” he repeated, while his left hand cupped my cheek softly and his other hand was held up to tick off the six words.

“I love y—”

I gasped as I took a step back and held the necklace in my hand, cutting him off before he could finish. “What?”

The happy look on his face disappeared. “I love you, Ashley. Probably always have. And a smile would be much appreciated right now.”

I looked down at the necklace I was holding as it was still around my neck and then back at Josh. “Really?”

He nodded.

And then we were kissing again, only this time it was my own doing.

My hands went directly for his hair, tugging it gently while his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer. The first kiss had been slow and sweet, and now we were rushed. I don’t know why, but I felt like if we didn’t hurry, one of us would disappear. I didn’t want Josh to disappear.

I knew it was going too far, but it wasn’t like I could stop it. It wasn’t like I wanted to stop it.

He lay me down on the bed and stripped out of his clothes while my own went bye-bye as well. And then our lips were attached again. He went from my lips down to my neck, placing kisses everywhere that drove me absolutely insane.

Soon enough we were tangled in the sheets together, falling asleep with his arm draped over my waist while I whispered, “I love you too." And maybe he heard it and maybe he didn't, but regardless, I realized it was true. I loved Joshua Franceschi.

And it wasn’t perfect, but there wasn’t much about love that was perfect. I just knew Josh was one of my best friends and if he loved me like that then I loved him as well. Because we were like two peas in a pod, and he knew me so well. He may have made fun of me on various occasions and he may have been painfully awkward, and he may not always be around, but he was Josh and I couldn’t have asked for anyone better.