Enchant Me, Please

I laid quietly on my bed. So many thoughts were running through my head. It was starting to give me a headache. I sighed and sat up. Why am I having these thoughts now? Is this what guilt feels or something? Damn karma.

There was a light knocking on my door.

"Um Oliver? Can I talk to you for a second?"

The one person who I didn't want to see right now wants to talk to me? Yup, its official, karma really does hate me.

"Yah sure."

Christopher walked in and closed the door. He looked hesitant, like if he wasn't sure if he actually wanted to talk to me. I ran my hand through my hair and looked away from him. Should I apologize for being such a dick? Yah, I should. But how should I start?

"Look, um, Chris? I'm sorry for my behavior earlier okay? I'm just not exactly in a good mood. And I know that you don't have to feel sorry for me. I'm not saying this to make you feel like that. I'm just apologizing."

I looked back at him. A look of shock was spread through his face.

"What's with the look?"

He shook his head.

"Just surprised. I thought you were going to kick me out of your room before I could even say anything."

I laughed a bit. Wow I must of really been an ass if he thought I was going to do that.

"But I really want to tell you something. It has to do with...boot camp."

I looked at him seriously. He breathed in and sat next to me.

"Oliver, you...you don't blame me for..you know..being sent there right?"

I tensed up. Do I? I used to but what now? Was it really his fault?.....

I let myself fall on my back and pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes. I knew Christopher was waiting for a response but how could I answer his question when I myself didn't know the answer?

"Chris?"

I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was looking down to the floor, his hair covered his face from view. His fingers were fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He looked so vulnerable like this. As if even a touch would hurt him.

"Chris? Look at me."

He didn't budge. What does he want to hear? I said I was sorry. Is that not enough?

"Well d-do you?"

His voice cracked.

"No."

And I truly meant that. Why did I blame him in the first place? To hide what I did to myself? I'm so fucking pathetic.

"Do you really mean that?"

He lifted his head a bit but still didn't turn my way.

"I really do Chris. I'm not going to lie, I did think it was your fault before but now I know it's not."

I stood up and sat on the floor in front of him. He had a few tears running down his cheeks. Don't be sad..

"Why did you blame me before?"

"Because I was a stupid jackass of a brother who didn't give a two shits for anyone else. I was a selfish dumbass, okay. And apparently I still am."

Chris looked at me and smiled.

"You're a fucking dork, you know that"

I smirked. I'm a dork? Even after everything I said and called myself, he calls me a dork?

"And you're a fucking princess."

Chris laughed and wiped the remaining tears away. I was suddenly embraced in a hug.

"It's good to have you back Ollie."

I sighed and smiled. It really is.