Shattered Glass

Cause, baby, you're a firework, Come on show 'em what you're worth, make em go oh, oh...."

My alarm clock chirps at me. I roll over groggily and attempt to hit the snooze button but just end up knocking the clock off my night stand.

"Damn thing," I mutter as i reach down to pick it up and place it back on the table.

I sigh and walk over to my bathroom, flipping on the light. The white tile is ice cold on my bare feet as I walk over to my shower, turning it on. I strip my clothes and toss them into a pile on the floor and walk over to the full length mirror.

I stare at my naked reflection in disgust. I see the fat on my stomach and thighs and feel ashamed. How could my body be this disgusting? I look like a freaking cow. I feel the tears beginning to burn but I blink them back and open the bathroom closet, pulling out my scale.

I placed it directly in front of the mirror, and stepped on, closing my eyes tight. I couldnt look. I didn't want to look. But I had to.

I looked down at the number - 118. Ew.

I step off the scale and put it back in the closet.

The shower has already filled the bathroom with steam as I step in. The hot water felt so good on my body but I could really enjoy it. All I could think of was the number I had just seen. 118.

God, I thought to myself, how could I be so freaking fat? I should'nt have eaten that piece of cake last night.

And then the voice pops into my head. I've nicknamed the voice Ana. She is the one person who is always honest with me and keeps me from screwing up. Most of the time.

"Damn right you should'nt have! God, you make me so sick, Haley. What the hell were you thinking?!" Ana screams at me.

I dont know what I was thinking.

"You were'nt thinking, you stupid cow! That's why youre fat! FAT! FAT! FAT! FAT! FAT!" she taunts.

You're right Ana, I'm sorry.

"Youre sorry?!" she scoffs. "That's all I get from you? An 'I'm sorry' ? Maybe I should just leave and let you stay fat forever. Because apparently you don't care too badly."

No Ana, please. I promise

"I've heard this all before Haley. I'm sick of you letting me down. Prove yourself to me today and I might speak to you again"

And with that, she is gone.

I feel the tears streaming down my face along with the water from the shower. I hurry and finish washing my hair and body and get out. Wrapping the towl around me, I walk into my room without a glance at the mirror. I am worhtless.