Shattered Glass
chapter 4
I was so happy for the bell to finally ring, signaling the end of the day. I get up along with everyone else and make my way out of the room, not making eye contact with anyone. Why should I? I'm not worthy of looking at them.
I walk down the hall and up the stairs to my locker on the second floor.
Our school had three floors. The first floor was where the freshman and senior lockers were, but on opposite ends of the building, along with the gym, cafeteria, and the health and science rooms. The second floor had the english and foreign launguage classrooms along with sophomore lockers, while the third floor consisted of the history and maths classrooms and the junior lockers. It was a pretty simple set up once you knew where you were going.
I reach my locker and enter my combination. It opens smoothly and I place my books carefully into it. Grabbing my bag and jacket, I close it and make my way back down the stairs. The halls were crowded and noisy, making me feel slightly claustrophobic.
Finally outside, I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with fresh air. The sun beats down warmly on my face as I walk the few blocks to my house.
I climb the concrete steps and unlock the front door, letting it swing shut behind me.
I race up the stairs to my room, dropping my bag and jacket on my bed and walk into the bathroom.
I flip on the light and retrieve my scale from the closet. My heart was racing. What if I weighed more than I did this morning? What if I'd got fatter?
I shut my eyes tight and step on.
118.2
I feel my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. How is that possible?! I hadn't eaten at all!
I pick up the scale, place it back in the closet and go over to the mirror, staring at my ugly body.
I run my hands over my stomach, grimacing at the fat that I feel under my fingers.
God, how could I be so fat? I look like a freaking hippo.
I raise my arms over my head and suck in my stomach as much as I can. I can see part of my ribs poking out.
I stare longingly at the small pieces of bone, wishing that more was visible. I sigh and drop my arms. I'll never be thin. I'll always look like an ugly fat slob.
Walking back into my room, I go over to my dresser and pull out a pair of black Soffee shorts and a yellow tank top. I slip them on, before grabbing my Nikes from my closet and shoving them on. Grabbing my gym bag off my chair, I walk downstairs.
I throw my bag on the table and open the fridge. I grab a bottle of water but stop tp stare at its contents.
There are a few bottles of water and a gallon of milk, a 2 litre bottle of pepsi, half a box of Krispy Kreme donuts, a package of hot dogs, some lunchmeat and cheese, along with a bunch of other junk. None of which was in the least bit healthy.
God, its no wonder I'm such a fatass! I eat like a pig.
I let the fridge swing close in disgust and pick my bag up off the table, walking toward the back door and out to the garage. The drive to the gym wasn't long, so it was only a matter of minutes before I pulled into the parking lot.
I walk into the building and through the double doors to the right of the reception desk. I knew that they led to the locker rooms from the times I had come here with my aunt. Girls were on the left and guys were on the right.
Lockers lined the walls. Some had bags and shoes and other belongings in them but most were bare and empty. I sighed and sat down on the wooden bench in front of some of the lockers. Why was I acting like this? I was begining to feel like a completly different person.
Standing up, I grab my iPod and put my bag in one of the lockers then walk out through the lobby into one of the workout rooms. I spot an open treadmill in the corner and step on. Turning my music up, I begin to run.
Soon, I would be thin.
Soon, I would be perfect.
I walk down the hall and up the stairs to my locker on the second floor.
Our school had three floors. The first floor was where the freshman and senior lockers were, but on opposite ends of the building, along with the gym, cafeteria, and the health and science rooms. The second floor had the english and foreign launguage classrooms along with sophomore lockers, while the third floor consisted of the history and maths classrooms and the junior lockers. It was a pretty simple set up once you knew where you were going.
I reach my locker and enter my combination. It opens smoothly and I place my books carefully into it. Grabbing my bag and jacket, I close it and make my way back down the stairs. The halls were crowded and noisy, making me feel slightly claustrophobic.
Finally outside, I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with fresh air. The sun beats down warmly on my face as I walk the few blocks to my house.
I climb the concrete steps and unlock the front door, letting it swing shut behind me.
I race up the stairs to my room, dropping my bag and jacket on my bed and walk into the bathroom.
I flip on the light and retrieve my scale from the closet. My heart was racing. What if I weighed more than I did this morning? What if I'd got fatter?
I shut my eyes tight and step on.
118.2
I feel my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. How is that possible?! I hadn't eaten at all!
I pick up the scale, place it back in the closet and go over to the mirror, staring at my ugly body.
I run my hands over my stomach, grimacing at the fat that I feel under my fingers.
God, how could I be so fat? I look like a freaking hippo.
I raise my arms over my head and suck in my stomach as much as I can. I can see part of my ribs poking out.
I stare longingly at the small pieces of bone, wishing that more was visible. I sigh and drop my arms. I'll never be thin. I'll always look like an ugly fat slob.
Walking back into my room, I go over to my dresser and pull out a pair of black Soffee shorts and a yellow tank top. I slip them on, before grabbing my Nikes from my closet and shoving them on. Grabbing my gym bag off my chair, I walk downstairs.
I throw my bag on the table and open the fridge. I grab a bottle of water but stop tp stare at its contents.
There are a few bottles of water and a gallon of milk, a 2 litre bottle of pepsi, half a box of Krispy Kreme donuts, a package of hot dogs, some lunchmeat and cheese, along with a bunch of other junk. None of which was in the least bit healthy.
God, its no wonder I'm such a fatass! I eat like a pig.
I let the fridge swing close in disgust and pick my bag up off the table, walking toward the back door and out to the garage. The drive to the gym wasn't long, so it was only a matter of minutes before I pulled into the parking lot.
I walk into the building and through the double doors to the right of the reception desk. I knew that they led to the locker rooms from the times I had come here with my aunt. Girls were on the left and guys were on the right.
Lockers lined the walls. Some had bags and shoes and other belongings in them but most were bare and empty. I sighed and sat down on the wooden bench in front of some of the lockers. Why was I acting like this? I was begining to feel like a completly different person.
Standing up, I grab my iPod and put my bag in one of the lockers then walk out through the lobby into one of the workout rooms. I spot an open treadmill in the corner and step on. Turning my music up, I begin to run.
Soon, I would be thin.
Soon, I would be perfect.