Jealous Minds Think Alike
But I know she's no good for me
-Jaycee-
I don't anything any more. All I knew that I sitting in the same stall I was when I found out about Stephen and Karen, just bawling.
I realized that I cried a lot, especially these recent days. Why? Because I was in love with love. I end up falling for the supposedly wrong people. I fall for them too fast. I was selfish and cry like a fountain, just because I couldn't get the things....or people that I wanted. I couldn't hang out with Stephen, the boy I truly like. I was getting jealous over a girl who was good friends with a kid I find annoying. Argh! Frustration!
Suddenly I heard a familiar sound of someone entering the bathroom. I immediately got on my knees and peered under the bathroom stall. A pair of red heels clicked as it touched the floor and headed over to the sinks. I got up and stared through the little space the stall door provided for the rest of the bathroom view. I spotted Mary and all of her beauty in front of the mirror fixing that beautiful blonde hair, which in my opinion was already perfect.
Instantly, I felt jealous again. With that kind of beauty, Mary could get anyone she wanted. If I had that beauty, I could get anyone I wanted. Mary also had that effect that drove my sense crazy just because she was friends with John. It made me feel territorial. It made me feeling like shouting, “STAY AWAY FROM JOHN, YOU BRAIN WASHING DEMON!” right into her face. Staring at her too, just made me feel angry....
Oblivious Mary was no longer looking into the mirror and was now rummaging through her purse, perhaps looking for something.
This was my chance.... I thought. Slowly opening the stall door. Just one move and I could snap her little neck. I took a step and then another, my hands stretched out. I was close to her, to the point of almost breathing down her little neck.
Then I stopped.
Why was I having these thoughts? They were murderous. I was not this type of person. I'm not that over compulsive of getting someone out of my way.
I dropped my arms and collapsed to the bathroom floor, sobbing more than ever. I heard Mary's heels click and turn around.
“Jaycee?” I heard her squat next to me and touch my back lightly. “What's the matter? Why are you crying?”
I didn't answer her of course. I didn't want to. I didn't want to tell her that I almost tried to strangle her.
“Stand up sweetie, She said softly, raising me by my shoulders, lifting me off the floor. “Shhhhh. It's okay.”
“G-Go to hell....” I murmured through sobs. But I don't think she heard me.
When I was fully off the floor and on my feet, she brushed my now wet hair away from my face and dabbed my tear stained cheeks with her handkerchief. “Now....” She said slowly. “Tell me what happened.”
“I-I.....I can't.”
“Sure you can. Mary will understand.”
“No.....you don't know shit.” I turned around and crossed my arms, letting my wet bangs fall in front of my face again.
“Jaycee,” She sighed. “Bottling up your feelings isn't healthy. Just let it all out....in speech.”
“I-I'm not in love with John.”
There was brief silence before a startled, “What?”
I turned around. “I'm not in love with John, okay!?” I yelled straight into her face. “Is that good enough for you?”
“I thought you and John were.....”
“In love with each other? No. I don't know what kind of crap he feels, but I'm positive about my true feelings. I-I like someone else.”
Mary stared at me, before replying, “So, what are you gonna do?”
“I don't know. I....I can't break up with him.”
“And John doesn't know?”
“Of course no. We just argue and make each other mad.” I let out a small laugh. “We're like an old married couple, aren't we?”
“Sounds like you two have a special relationship. It's a naturally balanced one. Nothing to be concerned about. It hypes up any relationship.”
“I guess but....I just don't like him like that....I kind of don't wanna hurt his feelings.”
“The guy you like....is he special to you?”
“Yeah....”
“Is he more special than John? Is he better?”
“.......I guess so.”
“Stay with John a little longer,” She advised. “If you truly like this other guy and you're no longer hesitant about answering my question, then go to him.” She gave me a sad look. “Just make sure you don't hurt him too much. Let him down gently, please.....”
Then she did the weirdest thing ever. She hugged me. Of course, I didn't whether to suck it up or just vomit.
I sighed and decided to suck it up, putting my arms around her as well. I was currently in deep space, thinking about how sad Mary looked when she told me to let John down easily, how I was hesitant when asked if Stephen was more special than John, and the fact that Mary was hugging me.....for no legitimate reason.
My eyes narrowed and I suddenly saw a peculiar sight. Someone was standing near the open bathroom door. Their shadow was visible on the floor and in a split second, the person stepped back and the shadow completely disappeared. I didn't know who was that or why the hell they were standing there in the first place, but I knew he/she just heard our entire conversation and now knew my secret.
I don't anything any more. All I knew that I sitting in the same stall I was when I found out about Stephen and Karen, just bawling.
I realized that I cried a lot, especially these recent days. Why? Because I was in love with love. I end up falling for the supposedly wrong people. I fall for them too fast. I was selfish and cry like a fountain, just because I couldn't get the things....or people that I wanted. I couldn't hang out with Stephen, the boy I truly like. I was getting jealous over a girl who was good friends with a kid I find annoying. Argh! Frustration!
Suddenly I heard a familiar sound of someone entering the bathroom. I immediately got on my knees and peered under the bathroom stall. A pair of red heels clicked as it touched the floor and headed over to the sinks. I got up and stared through the little space the stall door provided for the rest of the bathroom view. I spotted Mary and all of her beauty in front of the mirror fixing that beautiful blonde hair, which in my opinion was already perfect.
Instantly, I felt jealous again. With that kind of beauty, Mary could get anyone she wanted. If I had that beauty, I could get anyone I wanted. Mary also had that effect that drove my sense crazy just because she was friends with John. It made me feel territorial. It made me feeling like shouting, “STAY AWAY FROM JOHN, YOU BRAIN WASHING DEMON!” right into her face. Staring at her too, just made me feel angry....
Oblivious Mary was no longer looking into the mirror and was now rummaging through her purse, perhaps looking for something.
This was my chance.... I thought. Slowly opening the stall door. Just one move and I could snap her little neck. I took a step and then another, my hands stretched out. I was close to her, to the point of almost breathing down her little neck.
Then I stopped.
Why was I having these thoughts? They were murderous. I was not this type of person. I'm not that over compulsive of getting someone out of my way.
I dropped my arms and collapsed to the bathroom floor, sobbing more than ever. I heard Mary's heels click and turn around.
“Jaycee?” I heard her squat next to me and touch my back lightly. “What's the matter? Why are you crying?”
I didn't answer her of course. I didn't want to. I didn't want to tell her that I almost tried to strangle her.
“Stand up sweetie, She said softly, raising me by my shoulders, lifting me off the floor. “Shhhhh. It's okay.”
“G-Go to hell....” I murmured through sobs. But I don't think she heard me.
When I was fully off the floor and on my feet, she brushed my now wet hair away from my face and dabbed my tear stained cheeks with her handkerchief. “Now....” She said slowly. “Tell me what happened.”
“I-I.....I can't.”
“Sure you can. Mary will understand.”
“No.....you don't know shit.” I turned around and crossed my arms, letting my wet bangs fall in front of my face again.
“Jaycee,” She sighed. “Bottling up your feelings isn't healthy. Just let it all out....in speech.”
“I-I'm not in love with John.”
There was brief silence before a startled, “What?”
I turned around. “I'm not in love with John, okay!?” I yelled straight into her face. “Is that good enough for you?”
“I thought you and John were.....”
“In love with each other? No. I don't know what kind of crap he feels, but I'm positive about my true feelings. I-I like someone else.”
Mary stared at me, before replying, “So, what are you gonna do?”
“I don't know. I....I can't break up with him.”
“And John doesn't know?”
“Of course no. We just argue and make each other mad.” I let out a small laugh. “We're like an old married couple, aren't we?”
“Sounds like you two have a special relationship. It's a naturally balanced one. Nothing to be concerned about. It hypes up any relationship.”
“I guess but....I just don't like him like that....I kind of don't wanna hurt his feelings.”
“The guy you like....is he special to you?”
“Yeah....”
“Is he more special than John? Is he better?”
“.......I guess so.”
“Stay with John a little longer,” She advised. “If you truly like this other guy and you're no longer hesitant about answering my question, then go to him.” She gave me a sad look. “Just make sure you don't hurt him too much. Let him down gently, please.....”
Then she did the weirdest thing ever. She hugged me. Of course, I didn't whether to suck it up or just vomit.
I sighed and decided to suck it up, putting my arms around her as well. I was currently in deep space, thinking about how sad Mary looked when she told me to let John down easily, how I was hesitant when asked if Stephen was more special than John, and the fact that Mary was hugging me.....for no legitimate reason.
My eyes narrowed and I suddenly saw a peculiar sight. Someone was standing near the open bathroom door. Their shadow was visible on the floor and in a split second, the person stepped back and the shadow completely disappeared. I didn't know who was that or why the hell they were standing there in the first place, but I knew he/she just heard our entire conversation and now knew my secret.