Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)

I knew I had to get away from him just then, but it was a struggle. I had to use all my strength to get him off and it was especially hard since we were in the middle of intercourse but I managed to get Adam off me. I stumbled across the room, mainly because my pants were now around my ankles. I pulled them up, jumping as I tried to pull them on with shaking hands. Looking up at Adam who had practically crumpled against the bench.

"I can't do this, Adam," I said, feeling bad that I had left him like this. I walked towards him and placed a hand upon his back but he didn't look up to me. "Do you know what it does to me? Adam? Look at me!" This time, Adam looked up to me with a painless expression of betrayal. It just hurt me that little bit inside. "Do you know what this-" I grabbed his manhood and he moaned slightly. "Does to me?"

Adam looked up at me lazily, his hands going to his bits. My lips thinned as I took his face in my hands, studying him. His blue eyes showed his disappointment in me and I just didn't know what to say. It was then, though, that I realised that he knew what was happening to me and that Tommy was right. Adam's disappointment showed he just wanted me for what just happened, for the sex. He knew that I had blacked out while he had sex with me last night and I just didn't understand why he continued.

Why hadn't I just stopped him? Why hadn't I just listened to Tommy? I hated myself for it now that I hadn't and I damned him to hell for not being there for me when Adam came to my room last night.

"Do you?" I persisted.

"Does it look like I knew what was happening to you?" Adam said. "I just thought that you were coming down from a high."

I pointed my finger at him saying, "If you touch me again, I will not hesitate to strike out against you."

I left the room without looking back, slamming the door behind me. I circled the room, my hands gripping my head as I paced. I grunted and left Adam's room, jumping when I saw Tommy by the door. I couldn't bare to look at him at that moment and pushed passed him, continuing down the hallway. I heard Tommy calling my name as I walked and didn't stop. I was out in the backyard by the pool when Tommy stopped me, spinning me around to face him.

"What the fuck do you want?" I said angrily.

Tommy took a few steps back in shock, his brow furrowing as he said, "I was just going to give something to Adam when I found you there."

"Then why haven't you given it to him yet?" I said, glaring him down.

"Because you being in there became more of my concern," Tommy said, regaining the space that he had made between us. "What were you doing in there, anyway?"

My gaze lessened as I began to look down at my feet. Why did I agree to even go in there? I was ashamed for what I had done and I will pay for it forever knowing the fact that I had sex with Adam not once, but twice in less than twenty-four hours. I groaned to myself as I pushed my hair off my face and looked to Tommy once more. His eyes were studying me as I thought of a response to give him.

"Adam wanted to show me something," I said as plainly as it was.

"And you actually agreed to go with him alone into his room?" Tommy exclaimed.

"Look, I made that decision and I've dealt with the consequences," I said. "If I ever am near him again, I will make sure that I am with another, mainly you because I don't see myself making any good decisions without your input."

"As honoured as I am with what you have just said," Tommy said, everything about him so serious. "Why did you even go in there with him? It was bad enough that I let you go to see your father with just the Chief of Police as protection. I want to make sure your safe, Kassie. I don't want you to be galavanting around and getting yourself into trouble."

"Like when you left me last night and paced your room because you couldn't decided whether I was important enough to protect?" I said turning from him and taking a few steps towards my room when I completely forgot like an idiot that the pool was behind me.

If it wasn't for Tommy right then, I would've fallen straight in and completely ruined a good number of clothes. He pulled me back up from the edge after catching me as I flailed and spun me around so that were face to face, intimately close. Our faces were inches from each other but neither of us wanted to make a move. I didn't particularly want to do anything with Tommy because of what just happened minutes before but because as Tommy said, I didn't want to fall in love with him because he was the only best friend I had left. I didn't want to ruin anything else I had in my little hands.

"Come with me," Tommy said, his face hovering dangerously close to mine as he spoke. "We have some things to clear up."

Tommy pulled me from the side of the pool and towards the studios. I looked behind me and saw Adam standing on the balcony with an expressionless face watching Tommy and I react to each other. His eyes narrowed as Tommy and I walked through the studio doors, storming back into his room when we were out of his sight. Tommy sat me down upon the couch, turning towards me. I crossed my legs and angled myself towards Tommy, letting my hands rest in my lap.

"What did you want me to say?" I said.

"What did you want to tell me?" Tommy said, cocking his head to the side. "You're the one that seems to have had a little bit more action than I have."

"It was an accident," I said. "I was caught up in the moment and I couldn't control myself. Besides, it wasn't like it was easy to get him off. He practically pinned me to the wall."

"He has a tendency to do that," Tommy said, sighing. "Did you at least use protection?" When I thinned my lips and didn't say a word, Tommy got my answer. "Well, that 'accident' could get your pregnant so we just have to be careful over the next little while incase you are."

"That's the last thing that I want to be," I moaned as I slid down on the couch.

"That's the first thing that happens to you when you have sex," Tommy said as I extended myself across the couch with my feet resting in his lap and my arms covering my face. "You create a risk of an unwanted pregnancy."

"What happens if I actually am pregnant?" I said, becoming slightly worried and dropping my arms from my face. "What will that do for Adam?"

"I'll claim it as my own," Tommy said, which made me sit straight up to face him. "It's going to do no good for Adam but it's going to create something for me. Adam is meant to be dating Sauli as of tomorrow, or whenever he actually has the balls to ask Sauli out. I can afford to be straight while Adam can't."

"How can I let you take something like that for Adam and I?" I said. "I appreciate your offer but I just don't think I can do that to you."

"And just do it to Adam?" Tommy questioned, taking my face in his hands and searching my eyes. "I can't let you do that, Kassandra McDonald. If you happen to be pregnant, I will claim that you and I were in a secret relationship for a while and I managed to get you pregnant. Plain and simple."

"What if I'm not?" I said, finally agreeing to what Tommy was suggesting.

"That's possibly the most ultimate blessing we could both receive," Tommy said, kissing me softly on the lips and giving me a feeling that I hadn't received from Adam, making everything tense and almost close up. "You're a beautiful woman, Kassie. I don't want you to be ruined by a beautiful angel that can destroy you at any moment."

"Then be my angel, Tommy Joe Ratliff," I said, shifting my position upon the couch so I was close to him. "Because I am in desperate need of saving."