Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)

Tommy was seriously one of the nicest guys I knew and from that day onwards, I practically never left his side. The night after Adam and I had went to see Dave, Tommy and I ate alone by the pool. I had no idea where Adam was and personally I didn't really care. Charlie was probably off with Camilla having dinner at a fancy restaurant, having a good time without a hint of angst in their relationship. I was happy for them and their relationship, Charlie's happiness since he had broken up with Annabelle and her excessive controlling nature.

As for myself, well, I just have been having the bad end of the stick. Bad luck all the way.

Tommy and I sat by the pool, eating slowly at our spaghetti bolognaise. As I ate, I slowly looked up at Tommy and a slow smile spread across my face. I watched his small lips eat his food, his brown eyes searching his food for something more that he couldn't find. I reached over to his food and playfully took some of it. He followed the string of food that was being taken from his plate and settled his eyes upon me.

Struggling to eat the food that I had stolen, I could hear Tommy laughing at me as I did so. He set down his plate and started stealing some of my own spaghetti. Seeing him do so, with spaghetti still hanging out the side of my mouth, I pulled my plate of food away from him. He stumbled forward and his body pressed upon mine, causing me to fall backwards. In that time, I managed to get most of the spaghetti into my mouth before Tommy landed on top of me.

As he lay on top of me, he swallowed the last of the spaghetti he stole. His nose brushed with mine as he studied me from up close. I placed my hands upon his face, taking it in my hands. His breath smelled of the rich bolognaise sauce that we had made together. It made me hungry for something I didn't know and I for some reason I knew that Tommy knew what I was thinking.

His tongue hovered above my lips he hesitantly before licking my lips from the sauce. I pulled his face towards my own and kissed his lips. HIs tongue searched my mouth, running along my teeth and intwining with my own. I pulled him closer, feeling him shift upon my body as we lay together by the pool. Feeling as if something was wrong, I pushed Tommy away and studied his face, noticing that he was holding himself back. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You mean to much to me for you to become more than my best friend," I said, running my hands through his beautiful hair. "I don't want you to become what Adam was for me."

He opened his eyes and when he did, it was as if they were searching my soul more than Adam's ever could. He instantly lifted himself from my body and sat beside the pool, looking out into the distance at some unknown place. I sighed and continued to look out at the sky, admiring the stars. Resting my hands upon my stomach, I tried to make patterns amongst them.

"I wonder were Charlie took Camilla tonight," I wondered out loud, trying to create some source of conversation between us.

"Probably her favourite restaurant," Tommy said, lazily. "I wish I knew where yours was." Tommy glanced over to me. "So we didn't have to be like this every night."

"I like this," I said, looking over to him as I saw his eyes searching me. "If I go out with you to a restaurant, it will remind me too much of Adam and make me feel like we're more than friends."

"And you don't want that," Tommy said, resting his hand on the ground beside him.

"I don't want that at all," I said as I extended my hand towards him. Tommy moved from the edge of the pool and lay down on the ground beside me, looking up at the stars. "His eyes used to remind me of the stars."

"What do mine remind you of?" Tommy asked, taking my hand in his own and resting it upon his chest.

"Chocolate," I said, the smell of it washing over me.

"Yours are something I can always look into," Tommy said, looking over to me and his hand stroking mine. "They remind me of a safe place. They remind me of home."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I sat in the studio's waiting for the rest of the band to appear. I had already set everything up to record at least one of the songs we had been practicing in the little time we had managed to get between all the crap that had happened since we came together. I sat against one of the amps and played my guitar, being a while since I had actually played anything on it.

As I did, though, my thoughts went to the band that I had to be apart of when I was at uni. I considered pulling out, considering how useless I always thought it was since I already had a foot in the industry. I had no reason to be there and I always had done it because Dave had forced me to, to get a better understanding of what the industry wanted from me when all it did was teach me things I already knew.

I would talk it through with Charlie tomorrow before I made a final decision. He was in it with me and if I ditched him without consoling with him first, I don't know what he would think of me. He was experiencing the same as I was when it came to university so he would be the best person to help me make my decision.

I looked up when I saw Adam coming into the room and sighed. He wasn't really the best person to be alone in the room with but I was glad when I saw another man come into the room behind him. Sauli, I thought. That was him. I continued until the end of the song that I was playing and set it down. Adam and I looked to each other briefly as I extended my hand to Sauli.

"Kassie McDonald," I said as we shook hands.

"Sauli," he said with a slight accent. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," I said as our hands dropped to our sides and I left the room to the couple.

I hovered around the sound desk, leaning all my weight against it as I watched Adam and Sauli speak to each other on the other side of the glass. Tommy walked into the room and I didn't look up to him as he entered, holding his bass. He set it down on one of the couches behind me as he turned his attentions towards me. I felt his fingers brush up against mine as he took his place beside me, looking to Saul and Adam in the other room.

"I would've invited you," Tommy said. "But that didn't seem like the best idea."

I looked to Tommy, saying, "I need to speak to you about something after this."

He nodded sharply as Adam and Sauli noticed Tommy's presence. Sauli waved enthusiastically at Tommy who only smiled in return. Tommy looked to me as his hand took hold of my own and his fingers running over my calloused fingertips.

"I honestly don't know why Adam treated you the way he did," Tommy said as our hands disconnected and he moved to get his bass. "But then again, I never thought you were his type."

"Neither did I," I said, joining him as he walked back into the music room. "I realise that now."

"What do you realise, now?" Adam asked me as I entered the room.

I looked to Adam, my eyes narrowing at him as I turned to Sauli, saying, "You arrived with perfect timing, Sauli. We are about to record the first song on the album and you are going to be the first person from the outside world to hear it."

"Outside world?" Sauli questioned, slightly confused.

"Someone that's not from the band," Tommy explained as he began setting up his bass and tuning it. "You chose your timing well."

"Did you want anything while we set up? A drink, perhaps?" I said, moving back into the music and motioning for Sauli to follow me.

"I had something on my way here," Sauli said as he followed me back into the studio.

I caught Adam's eye as we walked into the other room, wanting to follow Sauli and I into the other room but I managed to stare him back into the room. I turned my attentions back to the sound desk, turning up Tommy through the main speakers. I adjusted the sound until it was perfect, feeling Sauli's eyes upon me as I set about my work.

It wasn't long before Monte entered the music room and began setting up his guitar. I turned up his fader and waited momentarily as he attached his guitar to the amp. I looked around the room and saw that Adam had moved to the booth and was putting on a pair of headphones. It would be a while, though, before I got to him. I had to balance out the rest of the instruments.

At that moment, Charlie and Camilla stumbled through the door to the studio in each others arms. They looked good together, happy too. I smiled at them as they looked up at me. Camilla waved at me and gave me a hug before she went into the other room. I wasn't expecting Camilla's hug and remained stiff as she passed on her respect towards me I watched her walk into the room, seeing a happy and bubbly side to her that I had not originally seen to her. Maybe it was Charlie's influence, I was betting on that.

I was broken out of my thoughts when Charlie said, "Sorry we're late. We just went out to get something to eat before we started, knowing how hard you will drive poor Camilla there to get this record done as soon as possible."

"Looks like you have had some influence on Camilla, there," I said as Charlie joined me by the sound desk. "She's not as shy as I remember her."

"Just had to get her true personality out of her," Charlie said. "Seems like I could say the same about you."

"You're confusing me, please explain," I said, giving him a look.

"You're like Camilla, in a way," Charlie explained. "Did your work and got out but that was until Adam turned up."

I stiffened when he said this and he looked to me with a confused look, questioning my reaction. I turned to Sauli who was now sitting upon the couch with his iPhone in hand. Charlie followed my gaze and his confusion furthered. I drew Charlie in, pressing my lips to his ear as I whispered, "That's Sauli, Adam's partner."

"I thought you and Adam were together," Charlie whispered back. "You two seemed to get along so well."

"Since your head has been up in the clouds for so long you have missed a lot," I said as I pulled away from Charlie and turned my attention to mixing the sounds together that I was now getting through the sound board. "Oh, and since no one else knows how to mix this beast like I do, I need you to play drums for the album."