Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)

I stared at it blankly, not believing what it had to say. I felt myself take a sharp in take of breath as everything got caught up in my throat. I felt Tommy's nose press into my neck as I tried to take in what had just happened. I was pregnant and that was that. I didn't like the idea but that's what the test provided.

"It can't be true," I muttered. "It just can't be."

I felt Tommy's lips move as he spoke to me, saying, "Try again. Just try again."

I sniffed and agreed to try again. I slowly pulled out of Tommy's embrace and an took another test from the box. I settled myself down onto the toilet once more and did what I had to do. Tommy turned a blind eye to what I was doing but when I stood once more, pulling my pants from around my ankles, I placed the test where the older one was originally. Tommy embraced me once more, but only more tightly. This time, though, I couldn't look. I didn't want my pregnancy to be confirmed, I just didn't want it to happen.

I turned from the test and pressed my head into Tommy's chest. He pulled me in close and rested his face into my hair, shifting after few moments. Tommy didn't move for a long time and we were completely frozen in time. I felt a wetness fall into my hair, knowing it was from Tommy's cheek. I couldn't tell if it was happy or sad tears so I forced myself from Tommy's chest and looked to his face. He was looking down at me with a weak smile playing about his lips that only confused me more. I was going to ask what the result was but he took my face in his hands and looked deeply into my eyes, the chocolate pools washing over me.

"You're going to be a mother," Tommy said as tears welled at my eyes. "You should be proud."

"That I am not," I said. "I do not want to be a mother. I do not want this baby."

"How do you not want this miracle?" Tommy said, placing his hand upon my stomach. "It's a gift, don't you see?"

"I do not want this gift," I whined, taking his hand from my stomach and pushing it away. "I just want to live my life out without the threat of having a child before I am twenty-five!"

"Don't you remember what I said to you last night?" Tommy said taking my face in his hands once more. "I will help you take care of this child and claim it is mine because you know how the media will react if they find out that Adam is having a child with his record producer."

"They wil say that about you too," I said. "You're having a child with a record producer of the next album your playing on. How will that turn out?"

"And you'll be having a child with one of your clients, either way," Tommy said as he picked up the test and threw it into the bin. "You will be protected and looked after by me, no matter what happens."

Tommy turns off the light and leaves us in the darkness of the bathroom as I said, "How will I know that you will always be there? How will I know you will not just be using me like Adam?"

"I guess we will just have to wait and see," Tommy said, feeling his breath float over me and feeling him hover dangerously close. "I am not one that can predict the future."

"You predicted what would happen between Adam and I," I said, my hands resting upon his chest and pulling slightly at his shirt.

"That is because I know him well enough to know how he is going to act," Tommy said as I felt his strawberry lips brush against mine.

"You might be my angel, Tommy Joe Ratliff," I said as I pulled away from him and went to the door. "But that does not mean you have to be my lover, also. That's the last thing I want you to be."

I went to my wardrobe and began to strip off my clothes. I knew, from the consequences of last time I did this in Tommy's presence, that it wasn't a good idea but I knew that I could trust him enough to not take any action on my semi-nakedness. I pulled out a top and bottom from the wardrobe and went to put them on but I was stopped by Tommy's hand. I dropped the clothing and watched Tommy in the moon light through the windows kneel down before me.

He came up to my belly button when he knelt down and he took me by the hips, pressing his lips against my stomach. My eyes narrowed at what he was doing but I couldn't help the tingling that spread throughout my body. He kissed my stomach multiple times, his hands sliding from my hips and resting upon my arse. Tommy's hands pulled me down onto my knees and forced me to look at him face to face.

"You're baby is going to be a beautiful, just like you," Tommy said, his hands still resting upon my arse. "And I will help you raise it, no matter what it takes."

"I wish Adam's kindness was expressed like yours," I said and blushed as I took full realisation of my semi-nakedness. "And that you didn't have to see me half naked right now."

"Let's not worry about trying to find you something to wear for tonight," Tommy said as he took his hands from me and started to take his jacket from his body. "I want to feel you on my skin."

"I don't want to have sex with you, Tommy," I said as I watched him throw his jacket to the side and slipping off his t-shirt.

"Why do you think of that when I said what I said," Tommy commented as he struggled to get his t-shirt from his body and I took control, pulling it from his lean body. "I just want to feel you like you're my own."

"Is this what you do with all the people you 'protect'?" I said as I let my eyes scan his body.

"You're my first assignment," Tommy said as he lifted me up from the ground and carried me like a child to my made up bed. (Done by the maid, not me. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have made it at all.)

"I'm not child," I said as I struggled in Tommy's grasp and he dropped me onto the bed.

"But you carry one," Tommy said as he helped me slip underneath the sheets and joined me. "And for the next nine months, you will be under my care."

"I want to book in appointment with the doctor, too," I said as I settled myself into the bed alongside Tommy. "Just to be sure."

"Anything you want, Kassandra," he said.

The way he said my name made goose bumps spread around my body and his hand resting upon my stomach proved them to be true. I turned so that I lay with my head resting upon his bare chest, my fingers floating over it. He was toned, but his body didn't hold as much as Adam's but it suited me fine and it was as perfect as he saw me. His arm was around me in an instant, holding me as if I was a fragile doll. For now, I was a fragile doll with a child within me from a man that had only wanted me for sex.

His spare hand pressed lightly at my stomach as I began to drift off into a sleep. His fingers ran across my stomach before they moved up my body, hovering over my average sized bust and rested upon my face. Already having my eyes closed, I could feel his chocolate eyes gazing upon my features. His fingers tried to pull at my bra straps but in my tiredness, I was surprised that could've actually stopped him.

"It's a miracle I even agreed to sleep with you like this," I said, lazily. "Don't push your luck, soldier."

"I wanted to take in your beauty in full," Tommy said as I shifted slightly upon his body.

"I think you have a good enough view from where you are right now, Mr. Ratliff," I said, sighing. "Be glad I actually trust you enough to be in here with me."

I felt Tommy laugh as I finally drifted off into a deep sleep, taking Tommy's cologne with me.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was in the shower by the time that Tommy had awoken. I was washing the shampoo out of my hair when he stumbled into the bathroom, his hair flying everywhere and dressed in only a pair of shorts. I paused as I was washing the shampoo out of my hair, wiping the glass of the shower so I could see the tattoos at different parts of his body. I admired him for actually getting those tattoos because I knew that I couldn't stand the pain, or the fact that they used needles for the tattoos. I had a fear of needles. I just didn't handle them well. (Don't judge.)

Tommy must've noticed me watching because his eyes drifted over to me looking through the fog that I had wiped through. I blushed and looked away, washing the rest of the shampoo out of my hair. It wasn't long before out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tommy slipping into the shower behind me, completely naked. I felt him pull my fingers from my hair and began to finish off washing the shampoo out of my hair. I closed my eyes as he reached across my body for the conditioner and began applying it to my hair.

He brushed against my body once more as he set the conditioner back in it's place. His fingers felt nice as they ran through my hair, pulling softly at a calming rhythm that I almost lost myself. I was awoken when I felt Tommy press his body against my back, his manhood firm against my back. He pushed my hair from my shoulder and kissed me along my shoulder and to my neck. Another man that had found my weak spot as he took full advantage of my reaction, turning me around and pressing me against the wall.

"Kassie?" I heard Tommy's voice say as my eyes flew open and I realised I was pressed against the wall with my hand in an inappropriate place. "Are you okay in there?"

"Yeah," I said as I pulled myself together as I washed what seemed like conditioner out of my hair and turned off the shower. "You mind passing me a towel?"

"Are you sure you're not having another one of your hallucinations?" Tommy said as he gave me a towel from the other side of the shower door. "Have you been having your iron tablets?"

"You see me having them every time I have dinner," I said as I stepped out of the shower and walked towards the mirror.

"You didn't have one last night," Tommy said as he took up my hairbrush and began to brush my hair

"I thought I could make up it when I had the bolognaise sauce," I said, feeling the sense of calm rush over me when he brushed my hair. "Obviously that didn't work."

"You gotta make sure that you keep on having them now with the baby coming and all," Tommy said as he finished brushing my hair and I turned to him. My fingers went up to his tattoos and followed the patterns. He watched my movements down his arms and across his chest. "And don't even think about getting one of them in the state that you are."

"You promised me that you would take me shopping," I said, looking up to him.

"I did too," he said, a smile crossing his lips.

"I think that might need to happen sooner rather than later for this photo shoot that's coming up really soon," I said. "I probably need to get another jacket like mine just for you."

"What photo shoot?" Tommy questioned.

"I got a message from Rolling Stone asking if it was okay for me to feature on the front page along with Adam," I said, almost laughing at his expression.

"But why are you buying me a similar jacket, then?" Tommy asked. "And why hand't you told me about this earlier?"

"Because I just got the message when I rolled out of bed this morning," I said. "They had called me when I was asleep. I hadn't had time to call back and confirm but they seemed pretty keen on me being on the front also. As for the jacket, they want a band shoot as well. They're coming here to get some shots of us while we record, but we're not going to show them anything that we've worked on."

"Usually it's only Adam that get's to do these things," Tommy said as he almost shook me with excitement.

"But I have one more thing that I have to tell you before you get over excited," I said. "Along with that message, I got a voicemail from Vogue asking if they could feature me on their cover along with one other, making no preference if it was Adam or not, to have as their headlining article."