Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)

"I'm pregnant," I said, plain and simple.

I didn't want to bash around the bush, I just wanted to get it out and let him know. It was a straightforward thing and I shouldn't be hesitant to say it to him, even though I was nervous about it at first.

"Whose is it?" Adam asked, tense and worried.

Sighing, I said, "Yours."

He lifted me up form his lap and turned me around so that I sat cross legged across from him. He took my hands and drew me in, studying me intently. I could see his eyes boring into me but it was not as intense as Tommy's. I liked Tommy's, though. His eyes were kind and calming, reminding me of chocolate, while Adam's were playful and sexy and reminded me of the stars. He still had his make-up that made his eyes more intense, standing out upon his features.

"I thought it would have been Tommy's…" Adam said, his chest practically heaving as if he just had sex.

"No, Tommy and I have a no sex rule," I said. "I think I have a fear of doing it again since you. I might hurt the baby."

He smiled at me and drew me in, forehead to forehead as he said, "We're having a baby. We're having a baby!"

He hugged me like there was no tomorrow before he stiffened, realising what I was carrying with me. Before Adam could take me into another soft embrace, I pulled away and my head was over the toilet again. I was throwing up once more and Adam was holding me up so I didn't collapse again, holding my hair out of my face so I didn't ruin it. Groaning again, I gripped onto the edge of the seat and tried to get myself off the ground. Adam helped me to my feet and I griped onto him, hard. I slid my arm my around his back and he help me to the door where I leaned my head against the door, taking a deep breath as I looked to Adam.

"Told you it wasn't a good idea for me to come tonight," I said, Adam smiling weakly at me. "I think I might just finish my food and head home."

"Did you want me to drive you home?" Adam asked, pulling me from the door and leading me through it.

"Don't feel obliged to escort me home, I can take care of myself," I said and Adam stopped me, pushing me against the wall.

"You're carrying my child," Adam said, studying my eyes. "I want to look after you. I want to have this baby."

"And I'm just not sure if I want one right now," I sighed and moved from Adam. "I'm not even twenty-five and I've been impregnated."

Adam followed me back to the table, saying, "You shouldn't treat it as a bad thing, you're carrying new life within you. It should be beautiful experience."

"It doesn't feel like it now," I said as I sat down beside Tommy who instantly brought me in to his embrace.

Adam looked over to me, his features proud and his eyes sparkling. It faltered slightly when he saw me press my head upon Tommy's chest, his fingers running through my hair. Although I felt comfortable in Tommy's embrace, Adam's gaze made me uneasy. I noticed Tommy hadn't touched his meal, but two or three glasses of alcohol sat around his plate with two more shot glasses beside it. Once I noticed this, I smelt the alcohol upon his breath and shifted uneasily in his embrace. His fingers went to my chin and made me look to him, his eyes glossing over from all the alcohol.

"How many drinks have you had?" I asked him.

"I was worried, stressed," Tommy said, his almost vacant eyes searching my face.

"Sometimes, I think you're almost as bad as Adam with your alcohol," I said to him and he pressed his lips to mine. I instantly pulled away and caught the attention of the waiter. "Can I get this take away? I can't eat all this right now."

The waiter nodded, taking the plate from in front of me. I got up from my seat and left the embrace of Tommy's, going to Adam and squeezing his shoulders. He looked up to me and understood what I was saying, standing up from his seat. The waiter returned and handed me the food before leaving again. Tommy watched me and Adam leave the table, his expression pained. I felt a pang of hurt at Tommy's face but I couldn't be around him right now in his drunken state. Sauli joined us as we left the table, taking the keys from Adam and said something about him driving so that Adam could be with me. For Adam's partner, he was very understanding, which confused me a little. As Adam and I slid into the backseat, I decided that I would question him about it in a whisper.

"Did you tell Sauli?" I asked Adam in a whisper.

"No, not yet," Adam whispered, placing a hand upon my stomach. "But he could tell that there was something going on between us that happened before he arrived. He wants me to sort it out before I go through anything with him."

"Do you still love him?" I whispered as we pulled out into the street and headed home.

"I'm attracted to him," Adam whispered as we sat beside each other. "Love will take a while."

"Wasn't it love at first sight?" I questioned.

"Do you know how rarely that happens?" Adam questioned me as we pulled up into my home, opening the door for Sauli.

"I'll take your point into consideration," I said as we got out of the car and he slid an arm around my waist as he helped me to the front door.

Before I got to the door, with Adam grabbing our bags from the boot, I leaned through the window to Sauli and gave him the gate keys. He smiled at me as Adam led me away to the house, letting us in and he led me to my bedroom out the back. I was so grateful when we finally reached my bedroom because I practically collapsed into my bed. I sighed as I relaxed into the sheets. Adam sat on the edge of the bed, watching me on the bed.

"Come on over," Adam said, pulling me from the bed. "We have to get that make-up off you. I still couldn't believe that they let you have those fakes!"

I rolled off the bed and let Adam pull me into the bathroom. He had me sitting on a stool as he took my fake eyelashes from my real eyelashes and began wiping off all the make up upon my face before putting on the moisturiser. I opened my eyes when he had finished with my face and took my face in his had. I placed my fingers upon his lips, trying to wipe them clean so I could see his freckles.

"I don't understand why you hide your freckles," I said. "They're sexy."

I dropped my fingers from his lips and stood from the seat, going back into my bedroom. I went to my wardrobe, pulling out a spaghetti strapped singlet top and a some shorts. I changed so fast that by the time that Adam came back into the bedroom with a clean face, I had folded my photo shoot clothes and put them into my wardrobe. Adam walked towards me and lifted me up of my feet, causing me to laugh. He placed me on the bed and wrapped me up like a princess. I pressed my hand to his face, smiling.

"Just tell me one thing, Adam," I said as he knelt down beside the bed. "Did you really like me all this time or was it just you wanting to get in my pants."

Adam gave me a weak smile as he said, "You are a very beautiful woman, Kassie. Tommy is very lucky to have you."

"What do I have to do to convince everyone that me and Tommy aren't together!" I exclaimed.

"People could believe that you and I couldn't be together," Adam said. "But there is no way that they won't believe that you and Tommy aren't together. It's like your a perfect match."

It was like my heart broke just then. I had just been told by the father of my child that he didn't think that we could be together. Ever. I felt tears brimming at my eyes.

"Then why did you have sex with me?" I said, my voice shaky as my heart began to sink.

"Because I had such a desire for you that I could not hold myself back," Adam said, his hand going to my cheek and wiping away my tears. "You're a very beautiful woman, Kassie. Your whole being attracted me, your personality, your tomboyishness, your accepting attitude towards me being who I was without a second thought. All of this in mind, I just don't think I could ever see myself with you."

"What about the child?" I asked, my hurt clearly vocalised.

"I'll let Tommy look after you until I can make a decision," Adam said as he pulled away from me. "I just don't know if I can be with you right now with Sauli here also."

"You said you didn't love him!" I said as Adam stopped at the top of the stairs.

"I didn't say I loved him," Adam said. "I said was attracted to him and nothing more."

"Wouldn't you consider your child more important than any attraction or false relationship right now?" I argued, trying to get out of the bed.

"Don't get out of the bed, Kassie," Adam said. "It warms my heart that I am having a child with you, but I have some things to clean up before I can make a commitment to you."

With that, Adam moved from the room and left me alone to my tears.