Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)

I found Charlie by the sound desk in the studios with the photographer setting up his camera and lights. He looked up at me and smiled when he saw what I was wearing. I had a black tank top on with some black skinny's and converse shoes. I had a few jangling necklaces around my neck, one from the shoot the day before with the cross on it and the hoop earrings. I managed to find some of my bracelets too before Tommy and I helped each other out putting on each others make-up. I felt my breasts were fully noticeable in my little clothing but I was glad that he didn't take much notice of them. They were becoming slightly annoying recently because of my pregnancy, which was another conversation that we had to have after this one.

"You look nice," Charlie said as I took my place beside him, seeing Monte, Camilla and Adam in the other room, conversing with each other.

"Could say the same to you," I said, starting up a new track the program we were using and pulling up some of the faders.

"But you look especially beautiful," Charlie said, taking my hand and spinning me around so he got to see me from all sides.

"Thanks," I said with a smile as we faced each other. "You got a minute? I want to talk to you about something."

"Sure," Charlie said as we took a seat on the couch in the back of the room. "What's up?"

I shifted my position on the seat and turned to face him, saying, "I was thinking about uni."

"You're still going back, right?" Charlie said, wanting confirmation for what he was thinking. "I don't think I could face those bitches of singers alone."

"That's what I wanted to ask you about," I said, hesitant and nervous. "I wasn't sure if it was worth going back. You've heard me talk about how I already know all of the stuff that they're teaching us and with the baby on the way, I wasn't sure if it was actually worth going back."

There was a massive silence between Charlie and I as I totally forgot that I hadn't told him even though I had reminded myself to moments earlier. It was good timing on Tommy's half as he walked into the room and saw me distressed upon the couch. He slid between me and the couch, embracing me and forcing me to relax in his arms. Charlie's eyes narrowed at us, raising even more questions for him.

"What's going on, Kassandra McDonald?" Charlie said, totally and utterly confused. "I want it straight and simple. Everything, now."

I got the confirmation from Tommy that he was here for me and that he would support me on whatever I said. I took a deep breath and said, "Here it is, straight and simple. When I first met Adam, he and I hit it off right away. It wasn't until a little later that he started acting a little strange. That was when I found out his partner from overseas was coming to visit him during the recording process. It was then that he forced himself upon me and we had sex. During that time, Tommy became what you were since your pursued your relationship with Camilla, which I totally support by the way. You two suit each other well, but that's beside the point." At this point, I slowed down with the story. "The point is that I am now carrying Adam's child, he doesn't want much to do with it and Tommy has offered to help me through the next nine months and will be it's adopted father, if need be."

Charlie just blinked at me, overloaded with the information that I had just given him. He placed his hands upon his head and rubbed his temples. What I didn't realise throughout this time, the photographer was taking photographs of us sitting upon the couch. I swore to myself because I knew that he would have evidence that Tommy and I were together. Neither of us had asked each other out yet but it was pretty clear that we were inseparable and had a potential long term relationship going on.

"I must've missed out on a lot of signs," Charlie said with a massive sigh.

"A lot of things have been happening while you have been out of my life," I said, wrapping my arms around Tommy's and bringing my legs up to my body so I was practically being held like a child by Tommy.

"And what does this have to do with uni again?" Charlie asked, clearly trying to get things straight in his mind.

"I've too much happening too soon," I said. "I just can't do it with what's going on in my life and I really have no motivation to do any of it. I only did it because of Dave."

"I'm not going to stop you doing something you don't want to with a reason like that," Charlie said, getting up from the couch. "Call up tomorrow. Quit, for all I care."

"Charlie," I reasoned, getting up from the couch and following him to the sound desk where I could still hear the constant clicking of the camera from the photographer. "Why are you acting like you don't care?"

"Just give me a few days, alright?" Charlie said, giving me such a bad reaction that he clearly didn't want to be in the same room as me anymore, or even near me.

Without anything left to say, I left Charlie's side and walked into the music room. The rest of the band looked up at me as I walked into the room and studied my distraught expression. Somehow knowing that I just wanted to get this over and done with, they split into their positions, warming their fingers and voices. Camilla went to a keyboard, now, instead of the piano because of the synthesised track we were recording today. Tommy closed the door behind him as he walked towards his bass amp and picked up his instrument. He walked towards me as I sat down behind the drum kit and picked up my sticks.

Tommy kissed me on the cheek and said, "It had to be done. You don't know how proud I am of you. You're a beautiful and strong woman. I am glad to be your other half."

I was glad that everyone else had their headphones on and couldn't hear the conversation Tommy and I just had. He left my side, focussing on the song that we were now recording. We both put our headphones on, absolutely synchronised, and I counted the band into the albums second track.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

By the time the studio session had finished, I was totally exhausted and wanted to go to sleep but I forced myself to make an appointment with the doctor for later on this afternoon. The photographer packed up his gear as the reporter sat down on the couch in the studio with Adam, interviewing him as the rest of us began to disappear. I had an appointment about half an hour for the doctor and I was planning on going by myself before I told Tommy.

"I'm coming with you," Tommy said as I walked towards my car.

"Why?" I said as I leaned against the door to the drivers seat and Tommy placed his hands upon my hips, pulling himself towards me.

"Because you need someone there," Tommy said. "And since it's out of the question that Adam will be going with you, it is best if I come since I am the "adopted" father, as you 'quote, unquote' said."

With my lips thinning, he knew that I had relented to his appearance at the hospital with me. I go into the drivers seat of the car, Tommy walking around to the passenger seat, and I plugged my iPhone into the speakers and turned on something by Muse. He smiled at the fact that he was now being surrounded by rock music instead of something poppy like Adam's I drove from my house to the hospital, taking my time amongst peak hour traffic. It wasn't like we could go any slower.

By the time we reached the hospital, the sun looked like it was about to set. We quickly found a parking space and rushed into the hospital, avoiding the paparazzi that seemed to flock the entrance to the hospital. Tommy helped me push through the crowd of people and reach the receptionist who told us to wait a few moments. She would come and get us when the doctor was ready. We took random seats, away from the doors, in the waiting room. Tommy took my hand and held it tightly.

It wasn't long before the doctor came into the waiting room and called us inside one of the rooms. He pointed towards one of those hospital dresses and told me to change into one of them. He sad that he would be back in a minute. With Tommy still in the room, I hesitantly walked over to get the dress and put it on the chair that I would soon be sitting in.

"Let me help you," Tommy said as he came up behind me and pulled at my top.

This was really no place to be romantic or try to make a move on me. I was going to tell him so but I stopped myself when I felt the briskness of Tommy's hands over my body as he removed my tank top, my pants and my underwear. I must admit, I picked an awkward day to wear the worst underwear in the history of the world. I lifted my hands when he asked me to and he slipped the dress over my head. As he did that, the doctor returned to the room and Tommy lead me to the seat.

"Kassandra McDonald?" the doctor asked as he set a notepad down on the desk next to the seat and when he saw me nod, he continued. "You must be the father?"

I stiffened when I heard that because both Tommy and I knew that Adam was the father but what Tommy said warmed my heart, "I am the father, yes. I won't ever abandoned her, ever. She is my life."

I had to pull back tears.

"What's your name, son?" the doctor said, picking up a pen and ready to write Tommy's name onto the piece of paper.

"Tommy Joe Ratliff," he said, his hand still attached to mine.

"That your Christian name, Mr. Ratliff," the doctor said as he wrote something down on the notepad. "You not a Thomas?"

"Tommy Joe is my Christian name," he said as the doctor wrote it down and turned from the notepad, raising the chair slightly that I was sitting on.

"Are you guys married?" the doctor asked us as he turned on a machine, taking a weird contraption off it.

"No," I said. "Might be too soon to say."

"I hope, for the sake of the baby, that you guys will," the doctor said, putting a weird gel upon the contraption and hovering it near my legs. "This might hurt a little bit so make sure you hold onto your boyfriend's hand there."

Hurt a little bit my arse. It hurt more than what I had experienced with Adam but at least we got the result that I was searching for. I was definitely pregnant and there was no doubt about it. The doctor pulled the contraption from my privates and set it aside. He turned to Tommy and I to say that he would happily be our doctor through the progression of my pregnancy. I graciously accepted his offer and he left the room to Tommy and I.

Tommy helped me get changed and we left the room, going back to the car. We didn't say a word as we drove back home. All I can say it was one of the most unflattering experiences of my life and it made me feel dirty. I itched at my bra, feeling my breasts hurting a little but I guess that was to be expected. I let out a sigh of relief as we reached home and got out of the car. Tommy took my hand as we walked up the stairs to the main door and through the foyer.

The thoughts of the album came back to me, knowing that I would have to work on the song that we recorded today. We walked to the studios, finding it empty when we entered. Fortunately, the sound desk and all it's equipment was still on. I settled myself upon one of the seats in front of the desk and began to work on the track. Tommy sat down beside me and I felt him studying me as I worked, his eyes soon turning to me instead of my work.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look?" Tommy said, his fingers going to my hair and pushing it off my face.

"Not now, Tommy," I said, starting with the sound of my drumming. "I'm working."

"You're going to have to make up for it later," Tommy said as he got up from his seat and moved to the door.

"I'm not making up for anything, Tommy," I said, fixing the sound that I heard.

Before he left, he blew me a kiss.