Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)

When we returned home, everyone stumbling over each other and the only sane person in the entire group was me, I saw Charlie standing beside his car with a bag over his shoulder. He had the back door open and looked ready to leave. I paused, Tommy stumbling up the stairs with Camilla. I was glad she didn't see him because that would've just ruined her night further and I really didn't want that to happen to her. Charlie and I had been friends for a very long time and it was a shame to see him go like this. He was one of my longest lasting friends, making me cry when I saw him put the bag into his car and getting into the front seat without a backwards glance. Adam appeared next to me, more than slightly intoxicated and leaned against my shoulder. He practically had to shrink to reach my shoulder because I was that much shorter than he was as we watched Charlie leave together. I sniffed loudly as I saw him drive down the drive way and through the gates with the limo driver following after him.

I saw something upon the ground and moved away from Adam to see what it was. Kneeling down on the ground, not caring if it was ruining my dress, and picked up a pair of keys. They were the house keys and gate keys. He was truly leaving for good. I had no idea where he would be going or how he was going to be living the rest of his life but I would haven to call him in the morning. If I called him now, God knows what he will say to me and he probably wouldn't be in the mood either. If all else fails, I knew I would find him upon campus somewhere and living through the wrath of Chloe and the rest of the band. My thoughts went to the record when Adam practically stumbled over to me and fell onto the ground where I knelt. I fiddled with the keys when the ring fell off it that he wore when he was engaged with Camilla. It didn't have anything written in it like the one that Tommy gave me but it was an engagement ring nonetheless.

"He left her for good, then?" Adam slurred, strewn out sexily on the gravel.

"Looks like it," I said, extending my hand to Adam and helped him to his feet.

We were uncomfortably close, Adam's alcoholic breath washing over me and disgusting me to the core of my being. He steadied himself upon my shoulders and I slipped one arm around his waist as I helped him to the front door. I locked the door behind us as I walked Adam to his room. I was going to leave him at the door but he pulled me in, whining about how he was so drunk that he couldn't even undress himself. I sighed and followed him into the room, dragging him into the bathroom and sitting him down on the edge of the bathtub. He almost fell in the multiple times I tried to take off his make-up. There was an endless amount of laughter as I finished off leaning his make-up and stripped him down to his underwear, knowing I didn't want to see the junk he had in his trunk. I turned on the shower, making sure it was warm with my fingers and shoved Adam into there.

"I want you to come out of there smelling like a fresh bed of roses not like a tequila sunrise, okay?" I said as I left the bathroom for his bedroom.

I roamed his room as I waited for him to have a shower and found an envelope upon the bedside table. I couldn't help myself but be curious so I sat down on the edge of the bed and picked up the envelope that read, Adam, in cursive font. I turned it over and noted that it had already been opened, saving me from some kind of trouble from Adam. I pulled out the letter and put the envelope on the bed beside me, opening up the letter to read iy.

Adam,

I am so sorry to address you in this way but after our last fight, I don't think I could front you ever again. This is my last chance to finally clear everything up and say my last words.

I am catching the next plane back home where I will stay for a while to figure out what I should do with my life. Don't try to contact me because by the time you will read this, I will have had my mobile and home number changed. I have bought a new apartment also so if you try and follow me all the way over here, you won't be able to find me. I've made all my friends swear that they will not tell you of my whereabouts so don't try to contact me after this. It's not like you will be able to anyway.

I flew over two continents to see you only to see that you were in love with a woman. You best friends woman who is about to get married to him to. How could you make me travel all this way to find out that you weren't even interested in me in the first place? I can't believe I waisted my money on you! I am sick of all our arguments, your lack of commitment to me and your insecurities of satisfying another male with your constant reminders of how good it felt when you had sex with Kassie and how I couldn't compare, now matter how much I tried. I can't believe I let myself fall for you and now I fully understand why Kassie couldn't love you either. You're an unloveable person, Adam. I can't look at your face without cringing in disgust and at all the memories we had together that are now just history.

I am really leaving you, Adam. Inside the envelope is the ring that you gave me as a symbol of our connection and love for each other when your love was only fake. I hope you have a good life with Kassie, if she ever decides to take you back after all you have done to her. If you happen to see me by chance, don't speak to me because I wont acknowledge you. I will not cry over you, not matter how hard you pulled out my heart.

You are dead to me, Adam. Dead.

Sincerely,

Sauli

When I pulled down the letter, I saw Adam standing at the door to the bathroom with a bathroom wrapped around his body. He looked completely sober and his face serious. He joined me on the bed and looked at the letter that I had opened in front of me. I hesitantly closed the letter and put it back in the envelope, placing it back on the bedside table where I found it. Adam's eyes watched my actions as I folded up the letter and I looked back to him, no tears in his eyes and face tense.

"I guess you know what happened now," Adam said.

"I feel sorry for you," I said, taking his hand. "I didn't know you loved him that much."

"I loved him with all my heart," Adam said as I squeezed his hand. "He just didn't believe me because of how I looked at you."

"You looked at me because you wanted to be friends again," I said. "I just took it as the fact that you lusted after me and nothing more."

"I didn't mean to do those things to you, Kassie," Adam said, his voice showing the first sign of emotion since he stepped out of the bathroom. "You were just so beautiful…"

His hand want to my cheek and I instantly shook it off, standing up from the bed while saying, "I can't love you again, Adam. You already hurt me enough without giving a second thought to my physical health when you had sex with me. Twice, that happened. I'm in love with Tommy and I am going to get married to him."

"The only reason you're in love with him is because I practically forced him onto you because I couldn't handle being with you," Adam said standing up from the bed and moving towards me. "I need to know if I have you back in my life so I can know that I have some part of my heat filled."

I got to the door and Adam paused in the middle of the room, watching me slowly turn around to him and say, "I have forgiven you, Adam. I think that is enough for today, don't you think?"

I left the room and ran through the hallways to get to the backyard. Adam didn't follow me, thank the Lord, as I ran up the stairs to my room. When I opened the door, I almost threw it shut again. I saw Tommy sitting on the edge of the bed as Camilla pulled down his pants, his underwear and began to give him a blow job. I could see that Tommy wasn't enjoying it even before he saw me at the doorway. I almost took off my ring and chucked it at him but I knew he was too precious to me to do something like that. Instead, I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Why the fuck can't anything go right in my life?!"