Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)

After the rehearsal, mixing of ideas and finally getting a few tracks underway, I finally succumbed to the hunger and the constant askings of Slash wanting me to come out to dinner with him and his wife. What I hadn't succumbed to was inviting Adam along with us.

I knew, by the tired glances of the rest of the band, that they weren't going to be joining us. I would have suspected Adam feeling the same, but when I saw Slash talking to him as I was packing up my guitar, I saw Adam's face lighten and responding enthusiastically. I inwardly groaned, only wondering what the press would say.

I told myself to be happy that I had the company of someone that would make me feel better than I had in years. I just prayed that Slash's agent didn't appear randomly and ruin everything for me. I was relying heavily on that fact and I knew it wasn't good.

When everyone had left and the only people that were left were myself, Adam and Slash, I stood up from my guitar case and picked it up. I noticed Adam looking at me differently, a hint of the look he gave me earlier reprising. I ducked my head and moved from the music room to the studio, turning off all the lights.

The instant I did, I felt something brush past me. I instantly froze, feeling it move across my back and air pushing my hair to the side. The moment I turned around, I felt someone push me back against the wall. My guitar dropped to the floor beside my feet and my breath got caught in my throat.

The scent was alluring, delicious. I was like a rich chocolate that stayed with you long after you had tasted it, smelled it. I felt hands hovering up my thighs, hips, and my body. The hands took my own and pulled them up above my head, firmly pressing them against the wall. There was a firmness against my pelvis, sending an uncontrollable shiver through my body.

I didn't know what was happening to my body, and couldn't even wonder why my body was reacting in this way. I didn't want it to. I liked to be in control of my being and not anything else sending it into auto pilot.

I felt lips pressing against my nose, kissing it slightly, before moving to my eyebrows, my cheeks. Not long did I feel them upon my lips but the instant our lips connected, everything went bright. I had to blink a few times to see what had happened and I realised that I was staring at the roof of the music room.

I rubbed my eyes to clear the spots the flickered into my vision and turned my head slightly to see Adam kneeling down on the ground beside me. My brows furrowed. I could have sworn that what I had experienced only seconds earlier was real. If it wasn't, what was I doing on the ground with Adam kneeling on the ground beside me?

Slash came into the room with a glass of water, kneeling down on the ground beside me and handing me the glass. I saw Adam's lips thin as he took the glass from Slash and lift my head up enough that I could drink the water. Although being confused, I took the water gratefully. I didn't know how thirsty I was until I had the water and completely drained the glass.

"Thank you," I said as Adam gave the glass back to Slash.

Adam helped me up so I was sitting cross legged on the floor. He took his place opposite me and caught hold of my eyes, studying them.

"What happened?" I asked, rubbing my head.

Adam pushed some of my hair out of my face and made sure that I looked slightly presentable. Slash stood and left the room as quickly as he entered.

"You fainted," Adam said bluntly.

"What do you mean I fainted?" I questioned, Adam's statement not saying much about what happened at all.

"How do you think you ended up on the floor?" Adam said, his face concerned.

"I don't know," I said. "What I saw I thought was real, but I guess it wasn't."

"What do you mean what you saw?" Adam said.

Now it was his turn to be confused but before I could answer, my stomach groaned. I wrapped my arms around my body and hugged it.

"Over dinner?" I asked.

"I thought you would never ask."

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Adam and I sat at a table in the back corner of a Japanese restaurant. There was a bowl of soup in front of each of us as we both slowly sipped at it. I finished my own before Adam did, but I guess that wasn't surprising in my current condition.

I set down my bowl of soup and studied Adam as he finished his soup. I felt a lot better than I did before and could feel the warmth of the soup going through my body. I hesitantly looked around the restaurant, occasionally catching a few people looking over at Adam and I sitting at our table.

"Are you feeling better?" Adam asked as he set down his soup.

I looked back to him and nodded, saying, "I just wondered were Slash is. He said he would come out to dinner."

"He said that he had some family issues to deal with," Adam said as a waitress appeared at the table, taking the soup and leaving. "He sends his apologies."

"I was looking forward to it..." I said, disappointed.

"And I'm not a good enough replacement?" Adam said, his face saddened.

"It's not that..."

"Then what is it?"

I looked towards the front of the restaurant to see a few reporters with cameras, taking pictures one after another. Adam followed my gaze and sighed. We both looked back to each other at the same time, Adam sighing.

"You should stop worrying about them," Adam said as he took a sip of his water. "If either of us want to have dinner with each other, that shouldn't effect anything. Two friends having dinner. That's all."

That's not what my dreams showed me.

Something obviously crossed my features because Adam suddenly grew concerned once more. His concerned expression was actually kind of attractive. Anything and everything about him as actually just attractive. What was I kidding myself, though? Of course he was and that's why so many girls would chase after him in attempt that he would change his sexual preference, knowing he wouldn't.

Adam was who he was, and I, along with many others, were accepting of that.

At that moment the waitress returned with a few plates of food and two small containers filled with Sake. My eyes were fixed on the Sake, not wanting a sip. Adam obviously saw my look and took the Sake from my side of the table, along with his, and gave it back to the waitress.

"Not tonight," he said to her.

She took the Sake from Adam and nodded, finally leaving the table. He turned back to me as I slowly picked up my chopsticks, breaking them down the break line and began fiddling with my food. Adam picked up his own chopsticks and began attempting to use them. I looked up and saw him trying to eat his food. I laughed quietly.

"Did you want to use a fork?" I asked.

He shook his head and said, "I want to learn how to do this."

"Did you want me to teach you?" I said and Adam nodded. I reached over and adjusted his fingers upon the chopsticks to how I held my own. "Hold them like this and practice on some of the bigger pieces of food."

I obviously didn't feel embarrassed by the fact that I had just taken a bold step forward by reaching over to him and helping him hold his chopsticks. I knew this was real and it wasn't fake. It was like Adam said, just two friends having dinner.

As I helped him, I noticed a small smile creep across his face. When I pulled back and picked up my own chopsticks, I showed him how to move the two chopsticks between his fingers. Cheekily, I snapped up a piece of chicken that was on his plate and ate it. A playfully shocked expression crossed his face.

"How dare you steal my food, Miss McDonald," Adam exclaimed.

"I'm the one that fainted, remember?" I retorted as I munched on my prize.

"That doesn't mean you can steal my food!" Adam said. "You have your own that you can eat."

"What are you going to do about it?" I questioned, cocking my head to the side.

"Don't make me come over there and get it back from you," Adam said, his eyes narrowing.

"Ooh, scary threats," I commented.

In an instant, Adam's lips were on mine.