Sisilia

My flats made an almost silent padding noise as they hit the steps. I was almost impatient to hit the top step and open the heavy metal door at the end of the forever stairs. The windows on my right side opened out into the endless blue sky. The white clouds echoed on into the horizon. I skipped up the last few steps and opened the door into the upper balcony and looked around at each table for the familiar brown hair. The thick straight mess of brown hair that always looked like it was freshly cut. I knew below the brown hair would be a blue shirt or brown sweater.

But the entire floor was free of a blue shirted brunette. I bit my lip and headed over to an empty table. Surely, you’ll be here shortly. A perky blonde waitress in a typical black and white outfit appeared instantly at my side as my butt touched the cool plastic chair. I nodded politely as she listed the special bakery items, and then ordered a hot tea with lemon, with two spoons. She frowned momentarily as she wrote it down, like she was unsure how to spell tea, before nodded curtly, and dancing off, tucking the pad into her waist apron.

I looked around the window enclosed balcony and sighed heavily. Far in front of me was a couple holding hands across the table, the girl was giggling heavily at something the boy was saying. She bent her head and shook it, moving her hair to frame her face as she turned red. I smiled and my stomach twisted, taking me back to a simpler time…a mere twenty-seven days ago…

He took my hand and pulled me forward. “Come on Amy!” his eagerness was that of a puppy. He smiled wider and tugged on my hand. “You’re going to love it!” He pulled me up the stairs and I struggled behind him, working on not paying attention to the fact that we were about thirty stories in the air. If I were to make a heavy impact on the glass lining the staircase, I would fall and die. He yanked on my hand lightly again, frowning. He saw the scared look in my eyes and pulled me close. “This is not that high.” He promised. “We’re on the ground, feet safe in the dirt. Warm crumbling dirt between our toes. Safe and sound.” He assured. Of course, I knew he was lying, but he knew putting this picture in my head would make the fear dissipate.

I nodded and smiled. “Dirt.” His head bobbed once, before he hugged me tight.

It wasn’t necessary now. The image in my brain to kick the fear of heights. For some reason, that day with him sitting just a few tables over made the fear disappear forever. Instinctively, I pulled my hat closer to my face and shifted my sunglasses closer to my eyes as I turned to the window. The buildings seemed to have gotten taller. The whispy clouds swept the sun and the rays shifted to hit my face. I shivered at the sudden warmth, though it was welcomed. I greeted the sun with a smile and put my chin on my palm. I looked across the way at a building, and watched a woman push a vacuum along the floor. She shook her hips in a defiant, happy way. I smiled and felt my hips mimic the move for a second before I shook my head and recalled another memory…

“Dance with me Amy!” His green eyes glittered as the florescent light hit them just right. I shouted against his desire for me to dance, but he pulled me to his chest and began jumping up and down, singing along to the Selena Gomez song, Spotlight, that was blaring on my iPod dock. “Take it down! Shake it out!” He twirled in circles, somehow graceful in his continual shakes and swirls. I just stood there and watched him. He caught the fact that I wasn’t dancing, and made his way to me. “Dance?” I shook my head and he frowned.

“You are good at everything.” I pouted, sticking my tongue out at him. “I suck at dancing, and you know it!”

He smiled. “This may be true, but flailing your limbs around like an idiot is as much fun as anything else you are actually amazing at.” He offered me his hand. “Now, please come dance with me.” I rolled my eyes, but took his warm hand, which fit perfectly in mine. “When you feel like nothing, everybody’s something, you and your friend! Everybody jump in, look at us now, everybody shout out, oh!”

A cup of tea was set down before me, a piece of something green on top, a lemon perched on the edge. I looked up at the waitress, nodding my thanks, and she accepted it with a nod of her own before disappearing. I twirled the two spoons in the glass before holding them back with my fingers and sipping the hot liquid. It slid down my throat easily and I took a breath to let it cool. Then I licked my lips and set the cup down. My phone buzzed in the breast pocket of my plaid shirt and I jumped slightly, before laughing at myself uneasily and pulling it out. I shifted in my seat as I saw who it was. “Hello?”

“Amy. I’m sorry to say that I won’t be able to make our meeting today.”

He called it a meeting. “Oh.” I was pretty terrible at hiding disappointment. I always had been. He had always been quick to call me on it.

“I’m sorry to miss you before you leave for America.”

“It’s fine.” I said the words mechanically. I had been saying the same two words a lot lately when I answered a call with his name on the screen.

“If you ever come back, please do call.”

I decided not to grace this ignorant suggestion with a reply, and simply closed my phone and tucked it back in my pocket. I was grateful for my sunglasses when a few tears sparked up. I fought them back and turned back to the window, putting my chin in my hand again, staring out into the forever sky.

I waited so long for you to come, I guess I should've known you were gone forever...