That Night

It was a couple of weeks later. I came home from a party at Julia’s house. I was full oh happiness and glee. Dad was at the table crying. He’d called me and told me to come straight home. I went over to him and hugged him.
“Kyra’s in a better place now.”I said, for the millionth time. I thought Dad was getting better about Kyra. I wanted her here too, and cried some nights. But in the daytime, things were better. I was going to have a child, Meg was my best friend and always there for me, and I had a Dad who cared for me. He handed me a note.
“It’s not Kyra I’m worried.’ He said. Confused I read,

Carol, Jack, I’m really sorry but I think its best I go with Kyra. I suggest you join us. And your baby too Carol. If not, I hope I shall see you one day, and I will miss you.
“Where. is. she.” I demanded.
“I don’t know.” Dad said weakly.
“Why didn’t you go and look for her. Why are you crying here? You should be going to find her. She could be dead now!” I yelled. “If you are not going to do anything I AM GOING TO FIND HER.”
“You can’t go out now. You just got home from a party. You must be tired!”
“Okay, I call Danielle.” I told Danielle everything as fast as I could.
“Sure, I’ll take a drive around and I’ll she if she is around.” She responded. But we both knew Mum wouldn’t go anywhere that a car could easily get to. But she must’ve gone somewhere, she’d taken our car. But where had she gone?

Later that night, as I tried to sleep, I sighed to myself. I was worried about Mum. She is mostly calm and keeps to herself and then explodes. But all this depression and stuff must be rubbing onto her, to push her towards killing herself. I sighed and turned my thoughts to you. I would be going to hospital to see you on a scanner tomorrow. I may not want to keep you, but I feel responsible. I want to prove people wrong. You’ll be my first child and I would never want to know that you’re growing up somewhere else without me and not knowing I exist…

I got out of bed as I quickly as I could. I knew where Mum was. She’d be in the hospital, in room 109, probably. If you want to be with a person when they are already dead, it is only right to die where they died.

I told Dad everything. I explained that if I asked Danielle she could give us a ride. I felt this was my entire fault. If only I could back and rub out what I did that night.

It was only a little journey, but it seemed to take forever. Every minute I kept thinking, maybe she’s already gone and killed herself. We couldn’t just go barging into the hospital room as Dad pointed out in the car. So we went to the desk and asked if room 109 was occupied. She answered no. The she added it was so weird that a lady with long brown hair had asked the same question a couple of hours ago. Then the police had asked the same thing. We thanked her and hurried off. The police! Who called the police?!Down hallways and up one flight of stairs we ran. I threw open the door and half-shrieked half-squealed, “Mum!”

But it was too late. She’d hung herself outside by the flagpole; she must have let her feet loose from the windowsill. Police were already in the room, noting things. Someone had obviously spotted her dangling. But we had never even looked up.

I started to run towards Mum, my belly jiggling uncontrollably. The police had no right just leaving her naked body there dangling. Her clothes were strewn on the floor. A police woman held me back. She pushed me towards Dad who talking to a police man.
“You can’t take us downtown for questioning, it’s the middle of the night for goodness sake!” he was saying.
“We have the right to do what we need to, to protect the public.” the police man answered. “Now you were saying something about a suicide note.” Dad handed over the note.
“Can we come to the office tomorrow? My daughter is pregnant and looks awfully tired, also we need time to digest what has happened.”
“Of course sir,” another policeman said. “But we have some men follow you. If this was a murder, you could be a suspect.”

It was terribly silent at home. Sadness behind every door, in every corner. This wasn’t what we were expecting a couple of months ago. I expected to always here a baby crying. During the day and night. Mum always beaming over the baby, and Dad always moaning about not getting enough sleep, but secretly loving every minute of raising a second child. Now it’s just me and Dad on our own.

But what happens to us after Mum’s funeral? Would Dad decide life on earth wasn’t the right thing for him too? I couldn’t desert my baby. He/she should have his/her own choice. I rolled over and drifted to sleep. I dreamt of the day Kyra died, and then today, when we busted into the hospital room. My dreams replayed the dreams over and over again. I wouldn’t ever forget them.