Bite Your Tongue

6:45 P.M.
Korinne;;

The past week had gone by almost as if in a blur. I didn’t know why, but everything seemed to be moving faster than normal. Maybe it was because nothing bad had happened, nothing unfortunate that made each day at school one step below slowing being tortured to death. Elias still hadn’t acknowledged my existence, but I wasn’t complaining about that. For all I cared, he could ignore me for the rest of my life. That’d be great.

“I swear, if you don’t change the song right now, I’ll be forced to throw my smoothie on your head,” Delia threatened.

“Oh, come on. You know you love this song,” Stevie said, turning up the volume so Avril Lavigne’s ‘My Happy Ending’ blasted loud enough to possibly wake the dead.

“I’m not kidding, Stevie!” Delia turned down the volume to an almost inaudible level and resumed sipping her smoothie. I watched the whole thing from the backseat of the car, still reeling from being invited to some weird traditional gathering. Stevie had said that all they did was sit around and watch movies until everyone had to leave, but I couldn’t understand what was so traditional about that. Though I hadn’t hesitated at all when she’d invited me—it was sure to be loads more fun than sitting at home all night, watching TV. Plus, I loved movies. They were wonderful, blessed, two-hour escapes from the real world.

We reached Stevie’s house a few minutes later and saw several other cars already piled up in the driveway. There wasn’t really anywhere to park, so Stevie pulled up next to the curb and cut the engine, muttering something that sounded like “Stupid dumbasses. This is my house; I should be able to park in my own fucking driveway.”

Zacky came walking out of the house as we all got out of the car. As a reflex, I glanced at Delia, who had nearly dropped her smoothie and was now fumbling to set it straight. Stevie made a big show of rolling her eyes.

“Zacky! Need some help with the food?” she shouted. Delia’s eyes widened.

“Stevie, no! Shut up!” she hissed.

Zacky looked up and saw us for the first time. “Sure. I could use some help,” he said.

“Great. Delia, why don’t you go help him?” Stevie said, grinning.

“I can’t!”

“Of course you can. Go on; use those gymnast muscles of yours.” Stevie gave Delia a little shove in the direction of Zacky and his car before grabbing my hand and tugging me towards the front door. A loud whoop came from somewhere inside, followed by Matt’s voice saying “Dude, you’d better put that back. Stevie’s going to kick your ass.”

At that, Stevie sped up and we soon found ourselves in the living room, where Matt, Johnny, Brian, and Zoe were gathered on the various couches and chairs. Jimmy stood in front of the TV, holding a small pink box that looked like it held DVD’s. He quickly dropped it when he saw Stevie standing in the doorway however, and backed away slowly.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Stevie demanded.

“I was just curious! You talk about the show all the time; I was only seeing if it was worth watching!” Jimmy said, regarding Stevie frightfully.

“I don’t care if you were investigating it for the FBI, you do not touch my Gilmore Girls DVD’s!

While they were arguing, I sank into one of the large, cushiony chairs. I casually glanced around the room, figuring that I’d just as casually let my eyes land on Brian for a second or two, but I stopped when my eyes connected with Zoe’s. The look in her eyes made me want to immediately slink away and go hide in a hole somewhere. There was no indication that we were or had even been anything close to friends. Now, she looked at me like she was mentally selecting the weapon she was going to kill me with. I sat frozen for a second, unable to look away.

“Korinne, have you seen Sweeney Todd? We can’t decide between watching that first and watching The Ring Two,” Matt asked.

I nodded.

“You’ve seen it? Is it better than The Ring Two?”

I nodded again, more enthusiastically this time. Sweeney Todd was one of my favorite movies. I had gone to see it with a few girls from my old school who randomly invited me along, and instantly fallen in love with every aspect of the film. I knew all of the songs by heart, and could recite nearly every line in time with the movie. I loved how sick and twisted it was—I was one of the only people who laughed in the theater, while everyone else was gasping in horror or something alone those lines.

“Alright! It’s movie time!” Matt declared. He had to shout over Stevie and Jimmy, who were still arguing.

“You two! Shut up and sit down.”

They obliged, taking seats on opposite ends of the room. I sat back in my chair and waited for the movie to start, purposely avoiding looking in Zoe’s direction ever again. I had no idea why she was so angry, but then again, I didn’t really care. It wasn’t like I valued her opinion of me. She was merely an obstacle, a nuisance, something I would have to deal with for god-knows-how long. But there was no way she was going to ruin this movie for me.

+++

Brian;;

“I’m going to get more popcorn. Anyone else want some?” I said, about halfway through the movie. I regretted it within moments, though.

“Yes! I need an entire bag to myself, since Stevie’s such a popcorn hog,” Matt joked.

“I am not!”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’ll come with you,” Zoe said quietly. She followed me into the kitchen. I could tell something was bothering her—she’d been suspiciously silent since I’d picked her up, yet she kept insisting that nothing was wrong. I figured it was one of those strange girl things. If it was important, she’d tell me.

I took two bags of popcorn from the box on the counter and removed their plastic wrapping.

“I need to talk to you about something,” Zoe said suddenly.

“Okay…” I said as I unfolded the bags and tossed one in the microwave. I began to punch in the amount of time.

“Why was Korinne at your house last weekend, when you told me you were sick?”

Her question caught me so off guard that I accidentally set the popcorn to cook for twenty minutes instead of two.

“What?” I said, trying not to sound too guilty. How the hell did she find out about that?

“I called your house later that day to see how you were feeling, and your mom said you were dropping off that ‘nice girl who lives next door’,” Zoe said, using air-quotes around the last part.

“I…” Shit. There was no way to lie my way out of this. Not that I wanted to lie—it was just easier.

“Why was she at your house, Brian?” Zoe asked. She walked over and stood within two feet of me, forcing me to look at her.

“I…can’t tell you,” I finally answered. Zoe’s eyes narrowed.

“What?” she snapped.

I sighed. “Zoe, it wasn’t what you think. I swear.”

“Then what was it? Really, I’m curious,” she sneered.

“I can’t tell you!” I exclaimed. I was careful to keep my voice down—we could be heard from the living room if someone was trying hard enough—but she was really starting to piss me off. Did she not trust me?

“Why can’t you tell me? If it was something as innocent as you’re making it sound, then that should be no problem, right?”

“I can’t tell you because it’s not my place to tell, okay?”

“Bullshit!” Zoe screamed. “You just don’t have people over—overnight, for that matter; did I forget to mention that your mom told me about that, too?—and forget to tell your girlfriend about it!”

“I do if it doesn’t concern my girlfriend! God, what is your problem? Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I do. But it’s that stupid mute I don’t trust!”

“Why on earth wouldn’t you trust Korinne? You barely know her! What has she ever done to you?” I shouted back. I didn’t know why, but hearing Zoe call Korinne a stupid mute angered me more than I could have imagined.

“Don’t be an idiot, Brian! I’ve seen the way she looks at you, like she’s plotting the best way to push me off a cliff so she can step in and have you all to herself!”

“Are you insane?! We’re just friends, don’t be ridiculous!” I said, trying my hardest to ignore the bit of excitement I felt. Korinne’s been looking at me a certain way?

“God, you’re just full of bullshit today! If you two are such good friends, then why’d you feel the need to hide her little visit from me? Huh?”

She had a point. I couldn’t come up with an answer, so I merely stared back at her. Slowly, Zoe’s face relaxed into the quiet mask it had been before. She ran both hands through her hair and sighed loudly.

“I think we need to take a break from each other, Brian,” she said, breaking the silence.

“Fine,” I replied. And honestly, I didn’t mind. At the moment, I wanted to get as far away from her as possible.

“I’ll get my mom to drive me home. Don’t worry—you won’t have to bother.” Then she pushed past me and hurried out of the room.

I shook my head and returned to the popcorn—at least I could control the outcome of that.

+++

Korinne;;

“Shit, dude, that's one hell of a fight,” Zacky said.

The movie was still on in the background, but no one was paying much attention. We were all straining our ears to try and hear what Zoe and Brian were saying in the kitchen. Stevie had faintly heard what sounded like fighting, and shushed us all, but it was still pretty difficult to hear. It was clearly obvious that they were having some sort of disagreement, though. And as sick as it was, I couldn’t be happier. I knew it wasn’t good that they were fighting, though I still couldn’t help but fantasize about them breaking up right then and there. And then I mentally slapped myself, because that was wrong. Brian wouldn’t be happy if that happened—and I didn’t want to see him get hurt.

“Can you hear what they’re saying?” Delia asked.

“No…” Johnny said. “In fact…I think they’ve stopped.”

I heard the front door slam shut and then footsteps coming from the kitchen. Brian walked past the doorway, seemingly oblivious to the fact that we were all trying not to stare at him, and walked upstairs.

“Shouldn’t one of us go and talk to him?”

“He’ll be fine. But if he doesn’t come down in a few minutes…”Zacky trailed off.

The movie progressed and I soon found myself lost in it. I had completely forgotten about Brian and Zoe until the movie ended. As the credits were rolling, everyone moved around and either went to get more food or to the bathroom in preparation for the next movie. I was still lost in thoughts about the movie, singing my favorite song, ‘Epiphany’, in my head, so I was completely surprised when I found myself being practically dragged into the hallway.

Stevie’s face loomed in front of me.

“I think you should go and talk to Brian,” she said. What?

I just looked at her. Did she not realize that I couldn’t talk?

Stevie rolled her eyes. “I know you don’t talk, but you can sit there and listen! He might need someone to talk to. I think Zacky was planning on it, but he doesn’t seem to be doing anything at the moment.”

There’s no way. I would feel too awkward. I shook my head.

“Korinne…think about it this way. He just had a fight with Zoe, which obviously means that he’s not too happy with her at the moment. Being around someone else will be good for him, and it’ll be good for you if he feels he can confide in you, okay?”

I sighed. She did kind of have a point. I raised my hands in surrender, and Stevie smiled.

“He’s probably wandering around upstairs somewhere. If you catch him in my room, you have my permission to push him out the window. Seriously.”

I fought back a laugh as I climbed the stairs. The upper level of the house was quiet and dark, the only light coming from the streetlights outside that shone through the windows. I peeked in a few rooms and found them all to be empty. I tried a few more and eventually found Brian in what appeared to be a guest room. He was standing with his back to me, arms crossed, facing the window. I stepped inside and immediately tripped over several pairs of shoes that were sprawled on the floor. Brian whirled around as I fell.

“You okay?” he asked, walking over to help me up. I nodded, imagining how satisfied I would feel if I threw those shoes in a fire.

“Stevie sent you to talk to me, didn’t she?”

I implied as much and Brian rolled his eyes. “She’s going to be a great mother someday. That girl just doesn’t know how to leave people alone.”

Shit. He wants to be alone?

I hovered near the door, making it clear that I could leave if he wanted me to.

“No, it’s okay. You can stay,” he said. We stood in silence for a few minutes as Brian walked in circles, kicking the floor with each step.

“Zoe said we’re on a break,” he said suddenly. I felt my eyebrows shoot up to about my hairline. A break? I refrained from jumping in the air and clicking my heels.

“She’s just…she’s really pissed that I didn’t tell her you had been at my house.”

Oh, really? I tried not to be excited by the fact that Zoe could possibly consider me a threat to her and Brian’s relationship.

“I didn’t tell her….why you were there or anything…”Brian assured me. “And that’s what I think annoyed her the most. She thinks I’m hiding something.”

Like what? Geez, Zoe, paranoid much?

I wanted to say something, something encouraging, or comforting, but I couldn’t think of anything, and besides, I couldn’t talk. Though I really, really wanted to. I’d never really had the urge before—but now it struck with immeasurable force. I wanted to talk to Brian. I wanted to tell him that everything would be okay and that Zoe would probably come around sometime soon—even though I would hate every word coming out of my mouth.

I looked at Brian, who was looking contemplatively at the floor, and took a deep breath. The sound seemed to resonate throughout the entire room, catching Brian’s attention. His eyes met mine. I opened my mouth a bit and tried my hardest to make words come out. I could feel everything I wanted to say rushing up through my windpipe, swirling together into a huge mass of pressure. I felt the pressure in my chest, which was growing tight, and my eyeballs, which felt like they were being squeezed to death. It suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe, and then I got lightheaded and dizzy. I felt like I was about to pass out. And then, it was over. I closed my mouth, relieved to find the pressure gone, but confused when I felt my eyes start to tear up.

“Korinne?”

I realized that I had been staring at Brian this entire time, and that he was looking at me, his eyes full of concern.

“What’s wrong?”

I shook my head.

“Are you sure? It looked like…like you were trying to say something.”

No. Please, just let it go. I shook my head again.

Brian’s face lit up “Holy shit, were you really trying to talk? Korinne, that’s awesome! Try again, please?!”

No! I can’t. It’s too scary.

He must have seen the hard look on my face, because his face fell slightly.

“Please? It doesn’t hurt to try…”

I’m sorry.

How could I possibly explain to him that he was making it harder? I felt terrible about refusing to speak when he was standing in front of me, practically begging me to talk to him, and I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.

Brian sighed. “Come on! It’s not that difficult! Just say something! ” he shouted suddenly.

Why are you yelling at me?

A few tears started to spill over and I turned away, focusing intently on the floor. I couldn’t let him see how much that had hurt. But it wasn’t like he could even understand, anyway.

“Korinne?”

I made the mistake of looking at him. I couldn’t help it; he sounded so desperate and sad. His face softened when he saw that I was crying and then he looked away as well, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Sorry…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…Fuck, I’m just screwing everything up these days,” he said flatly. And before I could stop him, he walked past me and out of the room.