Bite Your Tongue

2:59 P.M.
Zoe;;

Oh, fuck.

I felt all of the color—well, the color that was left, since I had been so pale lately—drain from my face as my eyes fell upon the blue plus sign on the clear plastic stick in my hand. I blinked and looked closer—this couldn’t be right.

“No,” I breathed in disbelief. My hands began to shake, and I gripped the pregnancy test tighter, as if gripping it with every ounce of my strength would reverse its results. I had only taken the test out of pure curiosity, since my period had been late and I’d been throwing up for no apparent reason for the past three days. But I honestly didn’t expect that those things actually meant anything.

“Shit!”

I threw the thing down, where it clattered against the sides of the sink and came to rest right on top of the drain. My hands found their way into my hair, as I tried to draw deep breaths in an attempt to make some sense of this surely impossible discovery.

Don’t freak, I rationalized. These things are wrong all the time.

But after the four tests I’d ran to the store and purchased were all positive, the real panic set in. I let out a loud shriek of various expletives and angrily shoved all of the tests into the trash can. My hands grasped the edge of the counter tightly as a sob began to work its way up my throat.

“There’s no way,” I thought aloud. “I was always so sure to be safe, but…but apparently, not fucking safe enough!”

How was I going to explain this to my parents? They would freak out. I didn’t even want to imagine the look on their faces when they found out that their sixteen-year-old daughter was pregnant. And…shit, who would the father be? I mean, I hadn’t slept with anyone since Brian, except for Johnny. And we’d used a condom. I had been on birth control to regulate my periods for a while now, though my parents had no idea that I was using the pills for any other purpose. I should have been okay, dammit!

My eyes began to water, and I leaned against the door. I would have to tell my parents eventually, but I hoped to put that off until the last possible moment. The only logical thing to do right now would be to tell Johnny. He was the last person I’d had sex with, so that made sense. I picked up the phone and had already dialed half of his number when a thought occurred to me.

What if the baby isn’t Johnny’s?

I froze. Johnny and I had only hooked up about two weeks ago, and I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant that quickly. And if it wasn’t Johnny’s, then Brian had to have gotten me pregnant, back when we were still dating…which meant that I certainly had an interesting phone call to make.

My fingers flew over the keypad as a giddy smile anchored itself on my face.

Maybe getting Brian back won’t be so hard after all.

+++

6:37 P.M.
Korinne;;

“Matt, you idiot!” Stevie shouted, angrily throwing a plastic shopping bag to the ground.

“What? I’m sorry, okay?”

“How the hell could you forget to buy popcorn? Hello; it’s Sunday! And that means movies, dumbass!”

I watched, amused, as Stevie and Matt argued over the lack of popcorn. I didn’t really see what the big deal was, since we had tons of other snacks--Stevie’s kitchen was practically overflowing with them. The table was covered in a multitude of chips, pretzels, and various bags of candy that I guessed Zacky had thrown in for his own entertainment. I still didn’t understand the need for so much food, seeing as we never ate it all anyway, and Delia had had to skip out on tonight due to driving back from a gymnastics competition in Utah, so we were one person short.

“You guys seriously need to chill out,” said Jimmy, grabbing a beer from the fridge. “Go upstairs and bang each other’s brains out or something so we can watch the movie without your ridiculous fighting.”

“Hmm, that actually doesn’t sound so bad,” Matt said, smirking and eying Stevie suggestively.

Stevie rolled her eyes, but smiled and seemed a bit flustered.

“We can’t. There are people in the house,” she said quickly, busying herself with emptying a bag of chips into a bowl.

“So? It’s not like it’s anything they haven’t heard before!”

“Ew! Let’s get out of here, Korinne, before they corrupt us with their dirty talk,” Jimmy suggested.

“Aren’t you already corrupted, Jimmy?” I asked as we headed out into the living room.

Jimmy paused for a second, considering my question, and started laughing.

“Oh. Right, probably.”

I shook my head and walked over to join Brian on the couch. He sat staring straight ahead at the TV screen, which was broadcasting a commercial for some new ABC Family original movie. He looked up when he saw me approaching and gave a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes, which looked unusually sad and lost.

“Are you okay?” I asked, for what seemed to be the thousandth time today. He had been acting strangely ever since he’d picked me up, barely talking to anyone and seeming like he was lost in his own little world. But every time I asked him what was wrong, he’d say it was nothing.

He nodded. “Yeah. Just tired, that’s all.”

I frowned slightly but figured he would tell me if something was really bothering him. Brian reached out and wrapped an arm around me, and I relaxed against him, comforted by his familiar warmth. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking, though. That small, second voice of worry—the one I hadn’t had to deal with for quite some time now, since I had been so happy lately—began to slowly inch its way back into my thoughts.

What could be troubling him so terribly? He’s always been so happy and upbeat, and seeing him like this scares the shit out of me. What could possibly have happened?

What if he doesn’t like you anymore?

Oh my god, don’t even joke about that. I seriously don’t know what I would do without him. I wouldn’t even be alive without him, to tell the truth.

But…what else would it be?

We’ve only been going out for like, two months! He can’t possibly be bored with me already, can he?!

You never know.

I glanced up at him, terrified at the thought of him gazing at me in disgust, and was somewhat relieved to see him smile at me.

Okay, so maybe he’s not bored with me.

But even as I formed the words in my head, I was helpless to the feelings of unease that settled in the pit of my stomach. Whatever it was, I hoped he’d tell me soon. Even though something was telling me that I really didn’t want to know.

+++

7: 05 P.M.
Brian;;

Thoughts came together and broke apart in my head, the fragments shattering and coming to rest in some deep, dark corner of my mind where I’d, without a doubt, revisit them again.

Shit.

I had been trying to concentrate on the movie for the past twenty minutes, but The Eye just wasn’t holding my attention. The thing that was, however, was the fact that my ex-girlfriend was pregnant. And that I had no idea what to do. Zoe had called me earlier, and while I’d originally told her to fuck off, she managed to convince me to stay on the phone long enough to hear the news. The news that had, since then, turned my entire life upside down.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Did Zoe expect me to just drop everything and go back to her like nothing had ever happened? I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t leave Korinne—the very idea made me sick. But I also couldn’t just sit here while the girl I’d knocked up struggled to take care of a kid.

Fuck. I need a beer.

I got up and went into the kitchen, immediately retrieving a drink and pressing it to my lips.

“Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?” asked Zacky, walking into the room. “You look like you’re stoned or something. And if you are, then I’m not talking to you ever again, because you should have invited me to smoke with you,” he added jokingly, taking a beer for himself.

I put my drink down and let my hands rest on the counter.

“Zoe’s pregnant, Zacky,” I said.

A small quantity of amber liquid ended up on the floor as Zacky spit out the sip of beer he had just taken.

“What?” he questioned in disbelief.

I nodded slowly. “She just found out today, and she called earlier.”

“Holy fuck. What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” I replied, sighing.

It was silent for a moment before Zacky spoke again.

“…Does Korinne know?” he asked.

I shook my head. “What exactly am I supposed to tell her? I don’t want to freak her out, though I imagine I already have. She keeps asking me what’s wrong, and I hate lying to her…shit, Zacky. What the hell should I do?”

He shrugged. “Well, what do you think you should do?”

I knew exactly what I should do. I should go and help Zoe through her pregnancy and be there to raise our child, like a proper gentleman would do. But that would mean…no, I couldn’t even think about that.

“I should go back to Zoe,” I admitted flatly, feeling a cloud of dread develop over my head.

Zacky looked at me for a long moment.

“But you don’t want to, do you?”

“Fuck, no. But I can’t just not do anything, you know?”

“I’d say to just go with what your gut is telling you. That usually works for me,” Zacky advised.

I groaned and downed half of my beer in one gulp to avoid thinking about the daunting task ahead of me. My eyes wandered over to where Korinne was sitting on the couch, watching the movie. She was leaning comfortably against the back of the couch, waiting for me to return, and her hair was pulled up into one of those messy ponytails that I loved. I wanted, with every fiber of my being, to go over there and kiss her passionately, without regard for how many people were in the room; without regard for the way the guys would start to make fun of me like they did every time I kissed her in front of them. I just wanted to be with her—always.

My stomach twisted into knots, and I wished my gut wasn’t so noble and old-fashioned. Because right now, it was telling me to break up with Korinne—the girl I was pretty sure I loved. And I couldn’t think of anything worse than that. I couldn’t imagine putting her thorough more pain, when she’d already suffered through so much. I had promised her that I’d always be there for her—and when and if I broke that promise, I would break both of our hearts as well.