Bite Your Tongue

1:34 P.M.
Korinne;;

“Okay, he is so totally stalking you.”

“Not helping, Stevie.”

Stevie shrugged.

“I’m just giving you my honest opinion. And in my honest opinion, I’m pretty sure you’ve got yourself an admirer,” she said, tossing a chicken nugget into her mouth.

Sighing, I leaned against the back of my chair. I’d been telling her about my recent encounters with the person who had become a significant source of anxiety in my life—Jimmy. Ever since we’d ended up on the floor in my kitchen two weeks ago, he seemed to be popping up everywhere I went. I didn’t see a problem with it. He was fun to be around, and he kept my mind off of incredibly depressing things. Stevie, on the other hand, was convinced that he was running into me on purpose. I’d briefly considered that myself, but it was ridiculous to think that he was going to all this trouble to see me. I simply didn’t think it was possible. We all lived relatively close together, and we hung out at pretty much the same places, and that was all. I already had enough to worry about—I didn’t need Stevie making me paranoid about Jimmy on top of everything else.

“Oh, my God,” Stevie said suddenly. Her eyes widened as she watched something behind me.

“What?”

I turned around, following her gaze, and was met with the sight of Jimmy strolling casually toward the door of the restaurant.

“Holy shit.”

“I told you he was stalking you.”

“Shut up!”

I got up quickly, taking my place behind the counter. A small bell dinged as Jimmy walked in, and he smiled as he saw me.

“Hey,” he said. “I didn’t know you got a job at Chick-Fil-A.”

“I wasn’t expecting to. But it seemed like a good opportunity, so I took it.”

“And now I’m reaping all of the benefits!” Stevie exclaimed, digging into a bag of waffle fries. “I wish more people I knew would get jobs at restaurants. Then I could get free food practically anywhere.”

“You do have to pay for that, you know.”

She glared at me. “What?”

“I never said it was free, Stevie.”

Reluctantly, she began to dig through her purse for money, mumbling curse words.

I turned back to Jimmy.

“Anyway,” I said. “Did you want something?”

“Do you know if Ben’s here?”

Ben was the supercool shift manager of the Chick-Fil-A I’d applied to. He’d called me about a week ago to offer me a job, and I’d gladly accepted.

I peered over my shoulder into the inner workings of the restaurant. He was nowhere in sight, but I could hear music playing softly from somewhere nearby, and I was pretty sure that meant he was still there.

“Yeah, I think he’s in the back somewhere. Why?”

“He called and told me to come in for an interview.”

I could feel Stevie looking at me pointedly, but I ignored her and tried not to look as excited as I felt.

“You applied to work here?” I asked.

“Yep.”

“When?”

“The same day you did!”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I figured it couldn’t hurt to have some extra money. Plus, I was kinda hoping to get a job at the same place as one of you guys. But Johnny’s got his babysitting shit, and Brian…well, that rich motherfucker doesn’t even need a job, so…”

“What about Zacky? He was there when we were dropping off applications.”

“Korinne,” Jimmy said. “Zacky is dumb as fuck.”

Stevie burst into laughter, and I shook my head, trying not to laugh.

“That’s not nice. He’s your friend.”

“Yeah, but it’s true. They probably looked at the educational history he wrote down on the application and shit themselves laughing.”

“Jimmy!”

He chuckled. “I’m not trying to be mean. Zacky’s one of my best friends, but let’s face it: school is not one of his strong points.”

“You were in my Physics class last semester, Jimmy,” Stevie said. “School isn’t one of your strong points, either.”

Jimmy opened his mouth to defend himself, but he quickly rearranged his expression into a pleasant one as Ben walked out of the kitchen.

“Are you Jimmy?”

“Yep. Nice to meet you.”

They shook hands, and then Ben led Jimmy over to a table in the far corner of the restaurant. Once they were out of earshot, Stevie turned to me with a wicked smile on her face.

“I told you so.”

“He is not stalking me, Stevie. We applied at a few of the same places. Stop reading so much into this.”

“Are you seriously saying you don’t believe that he’s doing this on purpose?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you so averse to the thought of him liking you?”

“I’m not averse to it, you’re just making me paranoid.”

I didn’t quite know how to explain to her that, by liking Jimmy, I felt like I was betraying Brian, somehow. I knew I shouldn’t care, that I should be moving on and trying to find happiness for myself, but that was way more difficult than it seemed. As attracted as I was to Jimmy, I didn’t want to ruin friendships by dating him when I knew Brian wouldn’t like it.

What is wrong with you? Does Brian own you now?

I don’t want to make him angry—

How do you know he’ll be angry? You two aren’t together anymore. For all you know, he could care less about who you date, even if it’s one of his best friends.

But we’re friends. I don’t want to make things awkward.

Korinne, you’re friends with your ex-boyfriend who got another girl pregnant and still insists that you remain a part of his life. It can’t get much more awkward than that.

But…

Stop worrying about Brian. He’ll get over it.

…I guess you’re right.

Stevie rolled her eyes.

“Okay, I won’t mention it again.”

“No, it’s fine,” I said. “I should be thrilled about Jimmy possibly liking me.”

“Not ‘possibly’. Definitely.”

“Stevie—”

“Oh, come on. He looks at you like you’re next on his ‘To Do’ list.”

“Ew! Shut up!”

Stevie laughed. “Sorry. Couldn’t resist.”

I inspected my nails, trying to hide my embarrassment. I really hoped that Jimmy was one hundred percent focused on his interview and not listening to what we were saying.

Suddenly, Stevie grabbed my hand.

“Oh, good God. You need a manicure.”

“Um, okay…”

“What time do you get off work?”

“At four, I think.”

“Okay, well, we’re going to get you a manicure. You are not going out tonight with hobo hands.”

I gave her a puzzled look.

“I’m going out tonight?”

“All of us are, silly. The guys are playing at that club, remember?”

“Oh. Right.” My heart rate seemed to increase just from thinking about it. I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten about that—everyone would be there, and they were sure to notice something weird going on with me and Jimmy.

Stevie was watching me closely.

“Are you thinking about Jimmy?”

“No.”

She smirked. “Whatever you say.”

“I’m not thinking about him!”

“Lie all you want, Korinne. We’ll see how you really feel tonight.”

“Yeah,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound as terrified as I felt. “I guess we will.”

+++

7:30 P.M.

“I really don’t feel good about this,” Delia said nervously.

“Me either,” I agreed.

Stevie turned around and gave us both a deathly glare.

“Don’t say that. We’ll be fine.”

“But Stevie, we’re underage,” Delia hissed. “Do you know how much trouble we could get in?”

“We’re sneaking in through the back. No one’s going to notice.”

She had a point. The alleyway behind the club was completely deserted except for a large, empty truck nearby. No one would notice us sneaking in, but they also wouldn’t notice if an axe murderer leaped out of the shadows and hacked us all to bits. And it was all Stevie’s fault. Her hair straightener had broken, so she’d had to run to the store to buy a new one, which had resulted in her picking us up thirty minutes late and causing us to miss our opportunity to go inside with the guys. Now we were stuck finding out own way in, since going through the front was a definite no-no.

“We’re going to get kidnapped,” Delia said as we headed for the door.

“No, we’re not.” Stevie led the way, stepping carefully over the uneven cement that would surely have snapped the heels off of her shoes. “Come on.”

A large black door stood in front of us. Stevie went up to it and pulled on the handle confidently.

“It’s locked,” she announced.

“Shit.”

“Yeah, we’re totally going to get kidnapped.”

“Shut up, Delia.”

“No, you shut up. We would have been inside if you weren’t so obsessed with your hair being straight.”

“So now this is my fault? Really? Thanks. Love you too.”

“Both of you, stop it,” I said. “Fighting isn’t going to help.”

Stevie and Delia stood there, sulking. Since it was the only thing I could think of, I went up to the door and knocked. To my surprise, there was the sound of a latch being unlocked. The door opened just enough for me to see a bright green eye.

“What’s the password?” the person said jokingly.

“Zacky, if you don’t let us the fuck inside right now, I will stab you in the balls with the heel of my shoe,” Stevie shouted.

The door quickly swung open.

“Welcome!” Zacky said enthusiastically.

“Thanks.”

We followed him into the building, letting him lead the way through several winding hallways. He eventually stopped before another black door.

“Brian, Zoe and Matt are in there. I’m pretty sure Jimmy went to go get drinks, and I don’t know where the hell short shit is. Food and everything else is in the main area.”

“Okay.”

Zacky slipped an arm around Delia’s waist and headed into the room.

“I’m going to go get something to drink,” I said.

Stevie gave me a knowing smile.

“Of course you are.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Have fun talking to Jimmy, though.” She followed Zacky and Delia.

“Unbelieveable,” I muttered.

I hadn’t gone more than a few steps before I found myself face to face with Jimmy, who was carrying several different drinks in his hands.

“Hey!”

“Hey. Need some help?”

“Yeah, that’d be great.”

I relieved him of some of the bottles and trailed after him into the room where everyone had gathered. Jimmy went over to set the drinks down on a table, and as I followed suit, I purposely avoided looking at a particular corner of the room. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Brian and Zoe lounging on the couch. I turned to Jimmy, ignoring them.

“So, when do you guys perform?”

“Soon. Like in ten minutes.”

A surprised voice came from somewhere nearby.

“Ten minutes?!” Johnny exclaimed, walking towards us.

Jimmy rolled his eyes. “No, ten seconds.”

“TEN SECONDS?!”

“Relax, dude. I’m kidding.”

Instead of responding, Johnny reached for a beer. He walked away, most likely with the intention to drink it all in several seconds.

“I got you a Sprite,” Jimmy said. “Since you don’t drink.”

I smiled at him. “Thanks.”

“Well, I’ve gotta go get ready, so…”

“See you later.”

Once he had left, I found a seat and sipped my drink. My gaze somehow ended up on the couch where Brian and Zoe were sitting, and my heart seemed to shatter into a billion tiny pieces all over again. Seeing Zoe had been awful, but seeing her with Brian was worse than torture. They weren’t sitting there, making out, or anything, they were just enjoying each other’s company, yet the sight of them together still stung like salt on a large wound. Zoe must have realized she was being watched, for she glanced around the room, and her gaze settled on me. She gave me a sickly sweet smile, like she knew exactly how miserable I was and loved that I was unhappy, and turned to Brian, giving him a long, lingering kiss.

“What was that for?” I heard him ask.

“Oh, no reason,” Zoe said. “I just love you.”

I fought back the urge to vomit—or maybe it was the urge to vault across the room choke the life out of Zoe; I couldn’t really tell—and eyed the leftover bottles of beer on the table.

They looked pretty damn tempting right about now.

The door swung open all of a sudden, and a guy that I guessed was part of the stage crew walked in.

“You guys are on in five. Get ready,” he said.

Stevie let out a loud squeal, causing everyone to flinch.

“Oooh, this is so exciting!”

“We know, Stevie. But try to express your excitement in a sound level audible to humans, okay?” Brian said.

“Oh, hush.”

There was a general flurry of activity as everyone prepared to either go onstage or watch from the audience. I averted my eyes as Stevie, Delia and Zoe gave their boyfriends good luck kisses, focusing on a crack in the floor to keep myself from seizing every bottle of alcohol in the room and downing it all instantly.

Two large feet appeared in front of me. I looked up to see Jimmy standing there with a concerned look on his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Well, that was convincing,” he said sarcastically.

“Really, it’s nothing.”

Everyone was slowly filtering out of the room, so I stood up to go and join Stevie and Delia. Jimmy stopped me, though, and I felt like my heart ceased to beat as I realized that I was trapped between him and the wall. I stared up at him, confused.

“Jimmy…what are you—”

“Shh,” he said.

I stood frozen as he bent down and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was soft, tentative; an invitation. It was meant to tantalize, not to satisfy, and when he pulled away a few seconds later, I wanted to fall into his arms and kiss him again.

“Cheer up,” he said.

And then he left, seeming to take all of the air in my lungs with him.

For a moment I just stood there, unable to process what had just happened. Then I remembered that there had been other people in the room, and I glanced around to see if anyone had noticed.

Stevie and Delia, who had, I suppose, stayed behind to wait for me, were now staring in my direction with looks of shock that probably mirrored mine.

“Holy…holy fucking shit,” Stevie said after a moment of stunned silence.

“Did he just kiss you?” asked Delia.

The only thing I was able to do was nod.

Stevie let out one of her signature shrieks.

“Stevie, shut up.”

“Yeah, shut up,” I managed to say. “People are going to think that we’re being murdered.”

“Or that we’re having an orgy,” Delia added.

Stevie and I looked at her.

“Sorry,” she said, blushing. “Zacky is becoming a bad influence.”

All three of us laughed. Stevie was the first to calm down, and then she turned to me with her excited face on.

“So, is he a good kisser?”

“I think we should go watch the concert now.”

“Korinne!”

“I’ll tell you later.”

“Oh, come on!”

I couldn’t help but smile as I headed out into the hall, with the two of them pursuing me like vultures.

+++

7:55 P.M.
Brian;;

“Dude, where the hell are you going?”

“I’m thirsty.”

I followed Zacky as he went quickly back toward the room we’d been in.

“We go onstage in like, two minutes!”

“Grabbing a drink isn’t going to take that long. Chill.”

Rolling my eyes, I continued after him. We finally reached the hallway the room was located in, and he stopped short.

“What?”

“Uh, nothing. I’m not thirsty. Never mind.”

He turned around and tried to pull me back in the other direction.

“Zacky,” I said, laughing, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing. Let’s go.”

I yanked my arm out of his grip and walked toward the room.

“Is there a spider?” I asked mockingly.

“No, but I really don’t think you should—”

Anything he said after that was completely lost as I gazed upon on the image in front of me. Through the half-open door I could see Jimmy getting cozy with some girl, and as I realized who it was, a wave of anger hit me like a baseball bat to the face. My mind zeroed in on the traitorous scene before me, and alarm bells went off inside of my head.

Jimmy was kissing Korinne, and I was going to fucking beat the shit out of him.

I stepped forward to find my path instantly blocked by Zacky.

“Don’t do this. Calm down.”

“Zacky,” I said, using every ounce of my strength to keep from shouting. “I am going to fucking—”

“I know, I know, you’re going to fucking kill me ‘cause I won’t let you kill Jimmy. Get over it. We have a show to play.”

He seized my arm and began to pull me towards the stage, ignoring the stream of obscenities flowing from my mouth. I fought him every step of the way. Not once did he ever stop moving and as angry as I was, I was grateful for that. I knew that if Zacky wasn’t literally dragging me to the stage, I would go back into that room and beat Jimmy unconscious. Nothing existed in my mind except a pure, unbridled desire to cause Jimmy as much harm as physically possible.

But the show came first. I pushed the anger away and allowed myself to be dragged backstage.

Matt’s eyes landed on Zacky and I, and he raised an eyebrow.

“Is everything okay?”

“Fine.” I grabbed my guitar.

“Are you s—”

“I’m fine, Matt,” I snapped. “Let’s just play the damn show.”

He looked to Zacky for an explanation.

“Jimmy kissed Korinne,” Zacky said simply.

“Is he out of his fucking mind?!”

“Probably.”

Matt shook his head and took a sip of water. Johnny joined us, drunk enough to be completely oblivious as to how angry I was. Jimmy was the last to show, and I forced myself not to look at him as he walked past me to grab his drumsticks. My hands tightened into fists around the neck of my guitar.

“You okay, man?” Jimmy asked. “You look kind of pissed.”

YES I’M PISSED YOU DUMB FUCKING SHITHEAD! I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER!

“I’m fine.” Play first. Kill Jimmy later, I reminded myself.

He shrugged.

A minute later, one of the backstage crew came over to make sure we were ready. As he counted down, I heard us being announced, and then we were walking onstage.

I barely heard the applause, barely registered the screaming of the girls. All I wanted to do was get the show over with. But as soon as I started to play, as soon as my fingers touched the strings, my anger practically melted away, and I lost myself in the song. Each song we played was like a new and improved form of therapy, and by the time our set was over, I felt great.

The applause we received was deafening, and once we made our way off of the stage, we were accosted by people bursting with praise.

Zoe rushed at me, squealing and practically jumping up and down.

“Oh my God, that was amazing!” she gushed. “You guys are all fucking awesome!”

She kissed me quickly and then continued her very Stevie-esque methods of celebration as she went off in search of food. Nearby, Stevie and Delia were congratulating Matt and Zacky. Johnny was enjoying the attention of a few girls who seemed to like him, and Jimmy…I didn’t see him anywhere. It took me a few seconds to find him, but I eventually spotted him in the corner, with his arms wrapped around someone who looked very familiar.

For the second time tonight, Jimmy was kissing Korinne.

And I was going to fucking kill him.

“FUCKING HELL!”

“Oh, shit,” I heard Zacky say behind me. “Brian, don’t—”

“Shut the fuck up, Zacky.”

I shoved people out of the way, not caring whether or not they got injured, and made it over to Jimmy within seconds. I tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, fuckhead!”

He turned around, looking dazed and confused.

And that’s when I punched him in the face.

Chaos ensued. All of a sudden everyone was screaming, and there were three people trying to hold me back. They sure sucked at it, because it only took me two seconds to wrench myself away from them and lunge for Jimmy. He came at me, swinging his fists, and a few of his punches connected with my stomach, but I didn’t care. I grabbed one of his arms and hurled him through the air, sending him flying into a table. Glasses full of various drinks fell to the floor with him.

“What the fuck?!” he screamed. Blood was streaming from his nose.

“I COULD SAY THE SAME TO YOU, YOU FAT COCKSUCKING PRICK!”

“What is your problem?”

“MY PROBLEM?!”

I threw myself on top of him and resumed punching him in the face. Suddenly, I was lifted into the air and carried backwards several feet.

“LET ME GO!”

“No,” Zacky said. “Not until you calm down.”

Matt went over to Jimmy and helped him to his feet.

“Is this about Korinne?” Jimmy wondered. “‘Cause if it is, you seriously need to get a life, man.”

I lunged for him again escaping Zacky’s grip. I managed to kick him in the balls and punch the shit out of his face a few more times before Zacky and Matt separated us.

“You broke up with her, Brian!” Jimmy yelled.

“FUCK YOU, JIMMY!”

“She can date other people if she wants! Get the fuck over it!”

“JIMMY, I WILL FUCKING CASTRATE YOU, YOU BASTARD!”

“That’s enough,” said an unfamiliar voice.

The bouncer, a large man in a black t-shirt, came over.

“Both of you. Outside.”

His orders were followed. Zacky and Matt dragged Jimmy and I to opposite ends of the parking lot.

“Let go of me, Zacky.”

“No, because you’re going to go try and kill Jimmy again.”

“THAT’S THE FUCKING POINT!”

“Jesus, Brian, calm down! What the fuck was that?” Zacky demanded. “Are you jealous or something?!”

“YES, ZACKY!” I shouted. “I’M FUCKING JEALOUS, ALL RIGHT?!”

I twisted away from him and stormed off through the cars, breathing heavily and hoping to get struck by lightning or something.

I had just royally fucked up every good thing I had going for me, and, unlike the broken bones Jimmy and I probably had, some things, like my friendship with Jimmy, or my relationship with Zoe after she found out I still had feelings for Korinne, or the horrible way in which Korinne would probably view me after what I’d done to Jimmy, simply couldn’t be repaired.