To tell, or not to tell.

I'm being kissed. This is the first thought able to make it through my hazy, confused mind.

I'm being kissed by Ashley. My next though is; Shouldn't I have my eyes closed or something?

I don't. My eyes are wide open, staring into Ashley's with what I assume would be confusion and shock. I wonder if I should close them but Ashley doesn't have her eyes closed. In fact, she's studying my face intently with said unclosed eyes. I also wonder if I should put my arms around her neck or not. Her hand is rested firmly on the underside of my chin, holding my face upwards. Despite the fact she's bending down slightly she still has to do this reach my lips. This annoys me. She's so bloody tall. Her other hand is leaning on the wall behind mine. It seems to be a trade mark stance recently. I don't know what to do with my hands. I should probably push her away but to do that I'd have to put my hands on her chest, and the fact that she's a girl rules that out. If she was a guy I wouldn't even hesitate. But she's not. So I do. She takes this as encouragement and moves her lips against mine. I feel like she's trying to coax a response out of my lips with her own. It feels nice, being kissed. I have to admit, Ashley is a good kisser. If she was a boy I'd be really attracted to her. But she's not, so I'm not. I decide the best course of action would be to just stand here as if shell shocked; wait for the kiss to die out. It's very difficult though. Especially with her eyes boring into mine. I glance away for what feels like an hour but is in fact only a millisecond. The hairs on my arms are standing up on end in shock, or because it's cold. I really just don't know. My stomach feels all weird too. Except according to my Biology it's not actually my stomach, it's somewhere lower near my intestine. There really is no name for it actually. Someone should probably name it. Why am I thinking of this?

Because you're in denial? a snarky voice in the back of mind says.

Shut up. I am not in denial. Because there is Nothing to deny. With a capital N. Ashley is a really good kisser though. She trails her tongue across bottom lip and nibbles it. And that does feel really nice. But no, this is quite wrong. Really. I don't like Ashley like that.
At least I thought I didn't...
I don't. I close my eyes for what feels like hours and break the kiss. I don't care if she's a girl, she ambushed me! I push her away and she stumbles slightly, but there is a smile playing around the edges of her lips. I swallow and breath deeply, my lips feeling all tingly. I open my eyes and touch a finger to my lip before frowning and glaring at Ashley.

"What was that?" I ask, irritation colouring my voice.

She smirks. "'S a kiss?" Translation: "That was a kiss?"

I roll my eyes. "I know that. I'm not that inadequately experienced." I huff air out through my nose and catch myself pouting. I immediately stop pouting and bite my lip. I've never been this aware of my lips before...
"What I meant to say was why did you kiss me?"

She shrugs and for once her nonchalant attitude really pisses me off. I push down my anger and wait for a serious answer. One doesn't come. I look down to avoid Ashley's stare. She has been watching me and opens her mouths to speak.
"Why didn't you just tell me?"

I'm surprised to hear a proper, full sentence escape Ashley's lips. My head snaps up and I raise one eyebrow at her.
"Tell you what?"

There is a short period of silence, awkward and uncomfortable, contrasting with the ones previous. I see acceptance flash through her eyes and I let out a sigh of relief. Not that I need to be relieved. There was nothing to hide.

Denial.

I see a plan formulating in the back of Ashley's mind but I decide to ignore it in favour of more pressing issues. Such as the pressing issue of the statement that has just been spouted from Ashley's mouth. "You kissed back." Ashley says.

I raise my head defiantly. "I did no such thing. I merely stood still until you were quite finished with your nonsense." I reply, feeling the urge to stick out my tongue in a childish manner. I can tell the my voice sounds more like that of an adult because I'm using my "telling-off" voice, which is frequently used in my father's house.

"Millisecond." "You did for a millisecond."

I let her think what she wants and decide to put the whole incident behind us. She just misread the signals, that's all. An honest mistake. Plus, I'm in no position to loose good friends. I sigh and wave my hand dismissively to convey this message. She nods her head so I assume she understands my meaning.
There are fifteen minutes left until lunch and we spend it in silence. It is slightly less amiable than before but I try to ignore the change in the atmosphere. I'm good at that, ignoring problems. The bell rings and I start to walk away tossing a farewell over my shoulder. Ashley grabs my arm to stop me. I turn to face her.
"Yeah?"
She lets go of my arm and eye grins. "House party tomorrow. Come with?" "There's this house party tomorrow, you want to come with me?"

I smile. It's the first time she's invited me to one of those types of parties. Any type of party, actually. "Sure."

"Ya up at eight?" "I'll pick you up at eight?"

I nod and head back on my way to find Mari for lunch. As I walk I wonder what would be appropriate attire. Oh, bum, I should have asked. I have absolutely no idea. I bite my lip.
Well, on the plus side, it should be fun, right?