Forever

Thunder boomed and lightning flashed. Rain is pounding on the windows of my bedroom. But I can't sleep tonight, it's been eight years since Jimmy passed away. Eight, long, hard years without my best friend. Val is sleeping next to me quietly, I lean over and kiss her forehead, before I lay back down under the covers and sigh. I listen to the rain and thunder, and laugh to myself. It's just Jimmy rocking out on the drums up in heaven. I wonder what it's like up there...

"Mommy! Daddy!"

I look towards the door, the thunder probably woke him up... Val sits up and yawns. I shake my head, silently telling her I got him. She smiles and kisses my cheek, before laying down and going back to sleep. I stand up and walk out of Val and I's room. I turn left and walk down the hall to my four year old's room. He's my pride and joy, the best thing that's happened to me since...Jimmy died. The door is cracked and I peek in, he's sitting up clutching a teddy bear to his chest and sucking his thumb. His eyes are darting around the room nervously. I can tell he's scared.

I walk in the room and he sighs in relief. He holds his arms out to me and I pick him up. He wraps his arms around my neck and his legs around my torso. His teddy bear is hanging limply from his left hand, while he breathes slowly.

"What's wrong buddy?" I ask him quietly.

"Daddy, I'm scared." He says.

I chuckle to myself and sit down in the rocking chair in the corner of his room. I start rocking us and look around his room. There are a few framed pictures of him and his uncles, and one of Jimmy and I from probably ten years ago. Every once in awhile I walk in here and find him staring at that picture, I've told him stories about his Uncle Jimmy. He hangs on to every word in those stories, and his eyes always light up happily. I smile to myself.

"Why are you scared?" I ask him.

"The thunder's scary, daddy. And it's loud too, and the lightning is scary too." He says, burying his face in my neck.

I rub his back, trying to calm him down. He usually is okay through the night, but I can tell he's upset about something. I have a feeling he knows that today was a sad day. The guys were over earlier and we just sat around and told stories about Jimmy, we've all heard them a million times. But it still helps to hear them again. He is sniffling, and I feel warm tears dripping onto my neck. I sigh.

"Buddy, stop crying. The thunder's not scary...it's just uncle Jimmy." I say.

He looks up at me, with big hazel eyes that are identical to my own. Tears a running down his cheeks, I wipe them away with the bottom of my shirt. His face wrinkles up in confusion and he appears to be thinking.

"How?" He asks.

"What? How what?" I ask.

"How is it Uncle Jimmy?" He asks.

"Well Uncle Jimmy's just up in the sky in heaven, teaching God how to play the drums and rocking out with the angels." I say.

He smiles and giggles, delighted with my explanation of the thunder. I laugh, and stand up. I walk over to his bed and lay him down. I pull the covers up and he pouts. I know what that means. He wants me to tell him a Jimmy story. "Have I ever told you the one about Uncle Jimmy and the stallion duck?" I ask. He shakes my head and I laugh, before I begin.

"Well, once upon a time. Uncle Jimmy, Uncle Brian, Uncle Zacky, Uncle Johnny and I were at the park. And we were walkning through the park and we came to a pond and your uncle Jimmy saw a huge duck. So, he started chasing it, screaming. "Hey! Look at the size of that freaking duck! C'mere you freaking Stallion Duck!" And by that time, your uncles and I were laughing. Then, Uncle Jimmy started yelling again "It's not afraid at all! It's not afraid at all!" Before the stallion duck went into the pond and Uncle Jimmy never saw him again. The End."

"That was a good story, daddy. I feel all better." He says.

Then another thunder clap booms. He jumps up and crawls across his bed to me. He sits down in my lap and I look down at him. His bottom lip is quivering, and more tears are threatening to fall.

"It's okay buddy, it's just Uncle Jimmy, don't be scared." I say.

I lay him back down on the bed and pulls his covers up, again. He looks up at me, he yawns and closes his eyes. He puts his thumb in his mouth, and clutches his teddy bear to his side. He's a cute kid, I remember when he was born. Haha, I was bragging about how cute he was to the other guys and that none of their kids would be as cute as him. But I will have to say that Johnny and Lacey have an adorable little girl, lucky for her she looks more like Lacey than Johnny, haha. I lean down and kiss his forehead.

"Night Jimmy. I love you." I say quietly, before I look out his window. I laugh, "Night to you too, Jimmy. I'll never forget you, man. I love you dude." I say, before I walk out of Jimmy's room. I close his door and when I'm walking down the hall back to Val and I's room, I swear I hear someone say:

"Night Shads, I love you too man."