We Can't Forget Last Summer

His finger elegantly and gently traced circles on my bare, exposed shoulder. His touch sent waves throughout my body, causing me to shiver slightly. He didn't notice though; he simply continued on absentmindedly.

I laid there on my stomach, my back facing John and my fingers aimlessly playing with the hem of my tank top. I stared at the white walls of my room, the morning sunlight cascading through the window pane, allowing the room to glow.

I had been like this for awhile now; just peacefully, yet completely distraught lying down. I went out to dinner with Sara and John in a trance. I couldn't even think about the conversations we had- I didn't know. John did most of the talking; he knew I was out of it.

Then we came home and John left and Sara went to bed. I changed and the collapsed onto the bed, but about five minutes later there was a soft knock on my window. John stood outside, a cheesy grin on his lips.

I opened the window, questioning why he didn't just come in the front. His response was that "I didn't want Sara knowing I'm here. I know she likes me and all, but now that I'm your boyfriend I'm sure she doesn't want me sleeping over."

It was sorta cute and I offered a weak smile before lying back down on the bed. He laid down next to me, instinctively wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close to him. After that, we fell asleep.

"Carson?" John's raspy voice was soft and full of concern.

I didn't turn around, instead I blinked repeatedly and stared forward.

"Please say something."

Feeling guilty, I rolled over, facing John. We were only inches apart when he grabbed my hands, interlocking his fingers with mine and playing with them.

I licked my bottom lip, then bit it. I stared up at him to meet his concerned eyes. "I don't want them to come." My voice cracked.

One of John's hands let go of mine. His hand moved up and caressed my cheek softly. His lips parted, wanting to say something, but nothing came out. He laid there awestruck, not knowing what to say.

"Everything was going so good for once. They're just going to come back and ruin it."

"I'm going to be here," John nodded his head. His hand slipped onto my waist and he pulled me closer to him. "I promise I'll be here for you. I'm not going to let them treat you badly."

Before I knew it my lips tackled his. I grabbed his face tightly, squeezing my eyes shut and giving him my all. John rolled me onto my back and hovered over me, continuing to kiss me aggressively. His tongue slipped its way into my mouth, exploring all over as mine did the same. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his body down on mine. He was on top of me, feeling all inches of my torso.

John fell to my side after I slipped out from underneath him, our lips never parting. Intertwined my legs with his and placed a hand on his hipbone. John's hand traveled down from my stomach to my hip and slowly to my back side, squeezing it eagerly. I soon found myself on top of him, my hands wandering to his belt buckle.

"No," John sat up and nearly pushing me away from him. He backed up to my bed's headboard, shaking his head constantly. "That, this- no." He struggled with his words, only uttering out the phrase "No."

My eyes went wide and for whatever reason my eyes stung. God, I was so not crying. This wasn't me. I didn't cry.

But for a reason beyond me, John not wanting me made me feel so lonely and to top it all off I was already upset about my parents. I was a fucking emotional mess right now.

"Car-" John started, noticing the small tear that escaped the corner of my eye. He crawled towards me, but I backed away, shaking my head. "I'm sorry. It's just that-"

"You don't want me." I muttered, looking down at my bed.

What the fuck was my problem?

John's adam's apple bobbed and he looked at me sympathetically. "No, don't be stupid Carson. Of course I fucking want you. I want you more than anything." He started to move towards me again, but this time I hopped off the bed.

He followed me and instantly I was angry. "Fuck you John." I spat.

"You're upset right now and you just want to be comforted and I don't want you to lose your-"

I cut him off. "Fuck off."

I sucked in a deep breath and took a step towards me. Unfortunately, I stepped back into the wall in back of me. John placed both hands on the side of the wall, trapping me.

"I'm not letting you loose your virginity just because you feel the need to get back at your parents."

I stared straight at him, not moving a muscle.

"You're upset right now Carson. Okay? it's understandable. Sex isn't going to solve that."

I sunk down the wall, curling up my knees and wrapping my arms around them. John quietly sat down next to me, draping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer to him.

"They disowned me. I thought that meant I didn't have to see them anymore." I huffed.

John swallowed hard. "You never really told what exactly you did....." He trailed off.

A small smile crept onto my face. "I did a lot of things. The main one was deciding not to go to college. I punched a girl in the face, I got in a fight with a teacher, my mom caught me making out with this kid who's mom she works with."

John flinched at that one, which caused me to smile more. "It was nothing."

John smiled then sighed. "I know. So you were quite the bad child, were you?"

I shrugged. "It's their own fault. Maybe if they had actually spent some time with their children they would have had better luck with them."

John pulled me in and kissed my temple, causing me to remember another antic of mine. "Oh, and I was caught with alcohol on my breath," I laughed. "That was my mother's exact words. 'She has alcohol on her breath! Oh dear!" I mimicked.

John chuckled as I continued the list. "I actually set the microwave on fire by putting three metal forks in it."

John's eyes widened. "Why the fuck would you do that?"

I shrugged, then laughed. "My brother dared me. The worst part was that I couldn't blame him. He was here when it happened and dared me over the phone. He said I was too scared to do it."

John shook his head in disbelief, his eyes still wide. "You're a maniac."

"I stole a pair of my mom's Prada shoes once and wore them to this trashy party, knowing they would get destroyed," I laughed, "this kid threw up on them. And then I went home and put them back where I found them. My mom freaked."

John made an impressed face. "Damn, you were worst than me."

"Oh yeah? What did you do in high school?"

John thought for a moment. "One time, I snuck onto the school's private baseball field with a couple friends at night. We started playing a game, but after awhile everyone got bored and started hanging out. I threw one of the baseballs we had in the air and hit it with a baseball bat and the ball went flying towards the school and right into a classroom's window."

I let out a laugh, my eyes widening.

"We ran."

I chuckled, leaning my head against John's shoulder and closed my eyes lightly. I sucked in a breath and inhaled everything about him. I felt so comfortable right here; with him.

"So," John interrupted a creeping, yet comforting silence among us. "I've been meaning to ask you something." He scratched the back of his neck.

"And what would that be?"

"I have this cousin that's sorta getting married...." He trailed off, his eyes averting to the ground. "And I wanted to know if you'd like to come with me? As my date?"

I bit back a smile, nodding my head excitedly before the words could even form in my mouth. "Sure, I'd love to."

John's face lit up. "Yes! You see, I was talking in Shane and Ross yesterday and they don't believe I finally got around to asking you out. Now they will believe me."

I smirked. "So what? You're going to show me off to all your relatives?"

A light laugh escaped John's lips, which then turned into a sly grin. "Oh yeah. They will be extremely jealous."

My face heated up and I hid it in John's chest. "I'm excited." I mumbled into his shirt.

"I'm glad."

I already knew John's immediate family and they were some of the most kindest people I had ever met. I'm sure the rest of his family would be just as great. I couldn't help but be excited- I never had a family gathering I was excited for. I hated my family.

"And trust me," John whispered into my ear, his lips nearly touching my skin. "I'm not going to let you go through your parents alone."