We Can't Forget Last Summer

"Do you think we can get backstage?" I leaned over and shouted to Rod, who was leaning against the bar, a drink in his hand.

He pursed his lips, shrugged and then stood up straight. "I don't see why not. You're good looking, I'm good looking- who wouldn't want us back there?"

"Us attractive people have it made."

"We certainly do. Let's rock this shit."

Rod looped his arm with mine and together we navigated our way through the crowd. I had to say it was difficult; I earned a couple elbows to the gut and several ass squeezes, but survived for the most part.

Two scrawny guys in yellow jackets stood guarding backstage. "Let me take care of this." I whispered to Rod who simply grinned; he already knew what I was up to.

"Hi boys," I smile seductively and placed a hand on my hip.

They both grinned greedily. One, who had a white mustache and was completely bald responded, "What can we do for you today, young lady?"

I ran a hand through my hair. "I was wondering if I could get backstage?"

The other, a skinny and from what I could tell, weak guy jumped at the opportunity. "Of course. Go right it," He took a step back and allowed me to enter.

I turned around quickly and waved for Rod to follow me. As the two of us stepped between the guards, the bald one placed an arm out. "Whoa there. Who's this?"

"Oh don't worry- I'm with her." Rod nodded his head.

The guard sucked in a breath. "We said she could go in. Not you."

"It's okay! He's cool." I interjected, trying to reassure him.

"Fine. Then the two of you are out."

We tried to protest, but the guards weren't budging. They began to back us up when I exclaimed, "I know Austin! I'm his friend!"

The bald guard, and seemingly agitated one rolled his eyes. "I get tons of girls who say that to me sweetheart. What makes you any different?"

"I'm not lying! Seriously. I'm Carson- his friend from Arizona."

The guards began to walk away, leaving me steaming with anger. I marched up behind them, sucking in a deep breath. "Go ask him- I swear to fucking god he knows me."

"I think you've had one too many drinks tonight, girl."

I shot daggers at the skinny one, "I had half a glass you ass-wipe. Now let me in."

"Boy, this one really wants to get laid, doesn't she?" The moustache guy chuckled, which only mad me more furious. "Look, sweetheart-"

I cut him off. "Don't fucking call me that."

He sucked in a breath. "Look, there are plenty of guys here tonight- you don't need to just have sex with a musician. Why don't you and your friend fool around, eh? Same thing."

"I know Austin. Okay? Go ask him."

Rod came up from behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Come on Carson. It's not a big deal. We can come some other time and try."

I turned around quickly. "I'm not lying. When I went on tour with The Maine, Austin was there. I spent a decent amount of time with him this summer. I know him.'

Rod swallowed hard and looked around. He let out a breath. "Maybe it would be a bad idea to see him them."

"What are you talking about?"

"You get so sad after talking to The Maine guys and I know you still think about John. Maybe seeing Austin is just going to make things worse. Maybe the only reason you want to see him is because you want to feel closer to John again."

My eyes widened and I shook my head. "Out of all the people Rod I really didn't think you would shit on my friends too." I spun around and stormed off.

I heard Rod calling after me, but I simply ignored him. I had to see Austin and fuck, maybe Rod was right but that didn't make a difference. Austin was my friend and one that I hadn't seen in a long time for that matter.

I stormed outside in the parking lot and found myself panting hard. I didn't realize how fast I had been running in the first place. I kicked at the ground and pouted.

It was until this very second that I realized how terribly lonely and miserable I had been. The only thing that lightened my day was Rod and my mother didn't even approve of that. Plus, I had just yelled at him. I was fucking up the only good thing in my life.

I was a fucking wreck. I should had been still thinking about John. I had been home for almost three months and I was still hung up on this summer fling. My thoughts revolved around him and I often caught myself daydreaming about lying next to him. I imagined his hand on my cheek, his lips on mine, my hands in his hair. I dreamed about our fight and even though it was so terrible, I was sad once I woke up. Everything was horrendous.

I was sitting against the venues cold, brick wall sulking to myself. A cough nearby startled me. I jumped lightly and let out a breath. I could see the white cloud float away from me. Summer was truly gone.

Some ways down the wall, a figure lit a cigarette and leaned against the the wall. The snuggled into their coat and let out a long sigh before taking another drag.

I stood up slowly and started to walk away, but stopped myself abruptly. I thought for a minute before turning around sharply and marching towards the figure. I was taking a risk- that's for sure- but hell, what did I have to loose at this point?

"Austin." I breathed out, not as a question, but a statement. It had to be him. I knew it was him.

The figure turned to me and even in the dark I could make out his curious eyes. "That's me. What can I do for you?"

I surpressed a smile,but couldn't hold back my urge to jumped towards him. I engulf him in a hug, which definitely surprised him. He let out a startled, "Oh,"

I pulled away, grinning. "You don't recognize me?"

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the light near the back door of the venue. His eyes instantaneously lit up and grew wide. "Carson!" He hugged me once again, tightly. "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged. "I live here!"

He made a face. "At this venue?"

I shook my head, laughing. "No. Here, in Nevada."

"This is so.... awesome. Come inside!"

Austin guided me inside and into some room backstage. I sat down across from him on a couch while he put out his cigarette and grabbed himself a beer. "Want one?"

I shook my head. "No thanks."

Austin and I then began talking and catching up. He was truly a great guy; full of thoughts and laughter. It was nice and I felt like I was back in Arizona, which always seemed to be where I wanted myself.

After about a half hour the two of us settled down from our laughs and a long sigh escaped my lips. Austin's eyes glanced up at me and he gave me this soft smile and I knew what was coming next.

"Do you miss him?"

I bit my lower lip and didn't respond. "I don't know."

Even though it sounded so ridiculous it was the truth- I really did not know if I missed John. Sure, I thought about him and my heart ached whenever I listened to his drunk voicemail messages, but did that truly mean I missed him?

Just as Austin opened his mouth to say something, a skinny boy with shaggy brown hair burst through the door, his eyes lighting up at the sight of me.

"Fucking hell Carson." He brushed himself off and stood up straight, his shoulders slumping. "I've been looking everywhere for you. You had me fucking sick to my stomach."

I cringed. "Sorry Rod."

I let out a breath and shook his head, running a hand through his messy, chocolate hair. "It's fine," He brushed me off, yet still annoyed."The guards finally let me in after I convinced them you were missing. But still," He continued shaking his head. "Fucking hell."

Austin cleared his throat and I jumped slightly. "Oh! Um, Austin this is Rod and Rod this is Austin."

Austin's eyebrows raised. "Your boyfriend?"

Rod and I were both quick to defend ourselves. We erupted in laughter, shaking our heads. "No way in hell," Rod chuckled.

"Yeah," I laughed. "not at all. Just good friends is all."

"Ah," Austin nodded his head. "I see. Well it's nice to meet you. Carson and I were just catching up."

Rod licked his lips, most likely feeling guilty about before. "Oh that's great. I didn't even realize you guys knew each other."

We slowly drifted back into conversation, Rod now engulfed into it. Despite this, I knew Austin wanted to get back onto the subject of John.

"Rod knows everything Austin," I blurted out. "Everything about this summer he knows. Including John."

Austin sucked in a breath and cracked a smile. "Well aren't you lucky," He chuckled while looking over at Rod. Austin then sucked in a breath and his eyes met mine. "John's a mess Carson."

I bit my lip, not replying.

"The Maine is on tour as of right now, but still- he's a fucking wreck. Getting drunk every night and making out with random chicks. It's terrible. The worst part is the fans are starting to notice."

I swallowed hard. "What am I suppose to do about that? It's going on three months. He just needs to learn to grow up."

"I know; I get it. There's really nothing you can do."

"Look, I know I don't know much about John, but by the sounds of it don't you think if Carson were to see him it would only make matters worse?" Rod shrugged.

Austin nodded his head. "That's true- I'm just worried about him. We all are."

"He'll get over me." I nodded my head, almost reassuring myself. "He has to eventually."