We Can't Forget Last Summer

"Is it just me, or does this place smell weird?" I asked, raising my chin and sniffing up into the air.

"Stop being paranoid." Rod placed a box in our new living room area and let out a breath. "Whew."

"You carried one box."

"Haven't we all realized I'm not the strongest guy in the gym? Jesus christ I'm not the brawny man or some shit." He rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. We should get this place tidy though, my friend Taylor is coming over." I said as I started into the kitchen and organized plates and cups into the cupboards. Sara was nice enough to give us multiple house warming gifts such as silver wear, plates, cups, a blender, and both of us a nice pair of new sheets.

"Ahhh, coming to meet her new boss, eh?" He smirked, walking into the kitchen as well and beginning to help me out."

I chuckled. "Yeah! But, I haven't seen her in so long."

We had been in Tempe a total for a whole week now. I had called Taylor the night after Sara gave me the store. Taylor had been away on a class trip, but was now back and coming over tonight.

Surprisingly, I hadn't run into John nor any of the boys from The Maine. I assumed they were on tour- which really was the only logical explanation. Wherever they may be, it didn't truly matter. Right now, everything was so wonderfully great. I was on fucking cloud nine and yeah, maybe if John walked into the apartment that might change.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A knock sounded on the front door and I nearly attacked it. I pulled it open eagerly to find exactly who I was expecting. I barely even saw her before she attacked me with a hug.

"Oh my god!" She yelled and jumped back. "You're actually here! I still can't believe it!"

I shrugged and laughed. "I don't think I really can either."

Rod walked into the living room and peaked out from behind me. "Hello." He waved awkwardly.

"Oh! Taylor, this is Rod, my other best friend and new roommate!"

The two shook hands. "Nice to meet you." Rod grinned and winked at her.

I watched as Taylor's cheeks flushed and she laughed lightly. "Nice to meet you too."

Rod nodded his head and then turned to me. "We have absolutely no liquor in this house. I'm going to fix that." He grabbed his coat, which was leaning on the head of the couch and put it on. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Won't you get carded?" I asked with a light laugh.

He shook his head reassuringly. "Nah. The woman who works there this hour has the hots for me. Pretty sure she's over sixty, but hey, she won't give me an issue."

"I know exactly who you're talking about!" Taylor's eye lit up. "The one who wear that light blue eye shadow and lime green eyeliner?"

"Yeah!" He chuckled. "She's always wearing this leopard print scarf too and petting it like she's proud of it or something. It's like she went to the fucking jungle or Africa or whatever and shot it herself."

Rod walked towards the door and shrugged. "I've been here for a week and I already know the woman who works at the drug store. Is something wrong with me?"

I shake my head. "No you just really like beer."

"Whiskey," He pointed and winked at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't act like a fucking fifty year old business man."

He popped his lips and then walked outside, closing the door behind him. Taylor grabbed me immediately and let out a noise I've never heard before. "Holy fucking shit, Carson! Why the hell didn't you tell me about him!?"

I shrugged. "Was I suppose...to?"

She ran a hand threw her hair. "Oh my god, he is so fucking attractive."

I nodded my head. "I know- he could be a fucking model if he wanted."

"He seriously could! Those eyes! Oh my god- his hair. And he winks- like what the fuck is that about? It only makes him ten times more sexy!"

I laughed and sat down on the couch, letting out a breath. "He's a damn good kisser too." I chuckled, mainly to myself.

"No way!" She jumped down next to me. "You kissed him?"

I nodded my head."Yeah, but don't worry. It was only to make sure we didn't have feelings for each other and we were both kind of horny to be honest. But fuck, great kisser that boy is."

She poked at my sides. "Better than John?"

I could feel my face heat up and I had a difficult time holding back a smile. I sunk down in my chair and hid my face. Taylor laughed and began to tickle me until I gave her an answer. "No?! Okay?" I shouted, laughing hysterically.

I composed myself before continuing. "John did this like, thing with his tongue," I held my hand up by my mouth. I then threw my head back, suddenly craving his lips. "God! It was fucking amazing!" I chuckled and Taylor fell silent.

I looked over at her, concerned as her smile faded. "What?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I shouldn't have brought him up, should I have?"

I sucked in a breath. Everything that had happened with John since I left Tempe I told Taylor over the phone last week. I shrugged. "No, it's fine."

She shook her head once again. "It's not. I don't- I mean I'm not sure. Are you over him?"

I shrugged. "I'm not really sure to be honest." I let out a dry laugh despite the fact that none of this was funny whatsoever.

"They're on tour, you know."

I nodded my head. "That's what I figured."

"They're coming home tomorrow."

"Wow," I muttered and once again laughed for no reason. "Great timing."

"They're having a party for their homecoming. Remember their friend Halvo? It's at his house."

I paused for a moment, then recollecting the name. "Isn't that-?"

She cut me off. "Yeah."

Taylor paused for a moment, biting her lip and looking down. "What now?"

Sucking in a breath, Taylor uttered out a phrase that made my gut twist with such exertion and horror that I nearly threw up. "John has a girlfriend."

I swallowed the fucking rock in my throat. "Oh."

"I'm sorry, Carson."

I shrugged and shook my head repeatedly. "It's fine. It's totally fine."

A silence hovered over us and we watched The Price Is Right play on the television screen. Rod most likely left it on. He has this weird obsession with game shows and this one just happens to be his favorite.

"You should come to the party," Carson said after a couple minutes of quiet. "You don't have to pay attention to John. The guys will be there and so will Austin! Bring Rod!"

I pursed my lips and shook my head lightly. "Whatever I do, something with John is going to happen. It's inevitable."

"You're right because sooner or later he's going to realize you live down the hall from him. You might as well get it over tomorrow night."

"Maybe I'll go." I huffed.

Rod returned and all three of us drank. I drank to my fear of John. Taylor drank to her new, bound-to-be successful future. And Rod drank because he likes to drink.

And that was that. Taylor and I shared my bed and fell asleep soundly. Rod passed out on the couch with The Price Is Right still playing.

And I still fucking hated how John seemed to ruin everything when he wasn't even here.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You're going to wear something hot whether you want to or like it or not."

"I don't want to wear a dress," I muttered, with tired eyes gazing over the various dresses Taylor spread across my bed. "I'm so tired of dresses and I think everyone is tired of seeing me in them."

"Ok! You know what? You're going to a party with a bunch of rock stars, so why not look like a fucking rock star, right?"

So basically, after that I found myself in a black halter top with these weird straps and gold buttons going down the middle. My boobs were way too high and you could see my skin above my waist. The black skinny jeans and ridiculous black heels really just made me look like a hooker to be honest.

And Taylor wore this tight, red dress that accented every perfect feature of her. When she stepped out I watched as Rod's eyes flickered open and his lips parted lightly.

"You look.... really pretty." He drooled and I contained my laughter. Never had I seen Rod so worked up over a girl before. His eyes snapped over to me. "You look like a.... a groupie?" He asked, shrugging.

I sucked in a breath. "Great," I muttered.

"A hot groupie!"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh joy. You always know how to boost my self esteem."

And with that, we left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When we arrived, the party was in full swing.

I had this weird feeling that all of this wasn't real- that it was just some kind of dream. Whatever it was, I continued to take steps toward the door and didn't stop. My eyes were glued to the front lawn where John and I fought in front of everyone. He called me a whore. I called him a virgin dick. God, people must think I'm just some chick who didn't get nailed by Johno and was pissed off about it.

I followed Taylor as she navigated us through the crowded household. We passed the speaker system I remember talking about with that Halvo kid and we passed the kitchen which was completely packed.

We finally got to an area where we could breathe. I turned around to find Rod with a drink in his hand already. "What the fuck?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Some girl asked me to hold it." He raised it to his lips, but I slapped it out of his hands.

"Are you kidding! Don't drink that! There could be poison or some shit in that."

It wasn't until I finished my sentence that I noticed the cup I hit spilled onto the person next to us. The guy in the not wet, leather jacket turned around and took it off. He peered at it and then looked at us.

"CARSON!" He yelled and there was Garrett, a large smile across his face.

I jumped onto him, hugging him tightly. "Gare!"

"You're back?! What is this about?!"

I shrugged. "I moved back last week!"

"Are you kidding me?"

I shook my head, holding in my smile. "No!"

Garrett turned and recognized Rod. "You too?"

"Me too! We're roommates!"

Garrett shook his head, completely in shock. "I can't believe this."

I let out a light laugh. "Sorry about your jacket."

He shrugged. "It's actually John's. I was just borrowing it so it sucks for him," He chuckled to himself. "Have you seen any of the other guys?"

I shook my head. "No, we just got here."

Garrett pursed his lips, then turned from us. He stood on his toes and waved to someone across the room. "Kenny! Pat! Get over here!"

I watched as two figures pushed through the crowd, causing people to move over and complain. Despite this, the two boys got to us with their mouths open.

"WHAT?!" Kennedy shouted and Pat jumped on me, throwing his arms around my neck. He let out several joyful screams before ruffling my hair and letting Kenny hug them.

"What's going on over here?" Jared chimed in from the left and I nearly toppled him over.

"Jared!" I giggled and hugged him tightly.

"Whoa, what? Carson?" He hugged me back, swinging me from side to side.

I explained to each of them how Rod and I decided to move to Arizona and are our now roommates and how I now own the record store. All four of them were in shock and couldn't seem to find the time to blink.

"I can't believe this!" Jared chuckled softly, shaking his head.

I shrugged. "I really can't either."

Suddenly, a voice came from behind me. "Is that who I think it is?"

I turned around to find the one and only Austin Gibbs grinning and holding a red cup in the left hand. He walked over to me, engulfing me in a slow paced, but thoughtful hug. As he pulled away he laughed, "Damn girl, every time I see you you get hotter."

His eyes scanned up and down and I found myself rolling my eyes. "Knock it off Gibbs. You know if John sees you doing that he'll beat the living shit outta ya." Taylor moved next to me.

Austin let out a loud scoff. "Even now? He's got a girl!"

I guess everyone noticed how my face fell and they could also probably feel how my stomach churned inside of me. They all studied me curiously to see if there was any sign of grief or anger. Does she still have feelings toward him? They probably wondered. I'm sure John told Jared, if not all of them what happened the last night we saw each other.

Taylor broke this off though. "Oh whatever. Everyone here knows that no matter what if John sees another guy checking out Carson he'll go ape shit. Girlfriend or no girlfriend."

Laughter cued in and suddenly I wasn't as upset anymore.

"Speaking of the devil, where is he?" Austin asked, peeking around the room.

Garrett rolled his eyes. "Probably with the girlfriend."

"I see 'em now," Austin nodded his head. "they're standing outside of Halvo's room."

"I'm going to get a drink." I nodded my head, leaving everyone behind me. I didn't really care about Rod and how he hardly knew anyone. He was social and knew his way around a party.

Walking to the kitchen, I felt someone on my tail. Turning around quickly, I found Austin giving me a cheesy smile.

"Hey," I muttered, now walking into the packed kitchen.

I found my way to the counter and examined the many alcoholic beverages sprawled out. I sucked in a breath. What to get, what to get.

Austin stayed next to me, and after awhile he whispered something into my ear. "Wanna make him jealous?"

His breath sent chills down my spin, as well as his words alone. Jealousy was something John possessed. It was the devil inside of him and knowing from experience, it was something that you shouldn't play with. Especially with John. But despite this, the fire within me, my desire, burned as strong as John's jealousy. It was something that got his attention all the time, and if I were to re-enter his life, why not cause a little attention? Right?

I turned back around. "Give me two drinks- the strongest shit you know. And then, yeah. I do."

So that's exactly what Austin did. I have no idea what he gave me, but it felt like poison on the way down. I stood close to the kitchen sink, just in case of emergency. Austin peered over his red cup, grinning as I took sip after sip. The fact that this was going to happen with him didn't hurt. Well, for me it didn't hurt. For John, it would hurt like a bitch.

I wasn't quite clear on why I wanted to do this in the first place. John and I left last on sorta good terms. So I guess some of this had to do with the fact he had a girlfriend. Hell, maybe I just wanted to hook up with someone. Maybe Austin and I have had this strong sexual desire all along that I haven't realized until now.

That last one sounds about right.

When I finished the two drinks, already stumbling a bit and feeling clumsy, Austin explained to me what was going to happen. John and his girlfriend were still standing right outside of Halvo's door, one of them on each side. I, of course, hadn't dare to look at John just yet.

Austin grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the kitchen and towards the door. My eyes were glued to a pair of boots and I knew they were John's.

"Hey Gibbs!" I heard his voice.

"Johno!" Austin called back, then stood up and spun me into him, his lips crashing onto mine within one motion. I melted into the kiss, my eyes shut solid so I wouldn't risk the chance of seeing John at all.

Austin pulled away, our hands still attached. He pulled me closer to John and the girlfriend. I didn't have to look up to know that John had seen me. He was quiet even as we approached. John's girlfriend said hello to Austin, but John said nothing.

"Mind if we sneak on in there?" Austin asked. My eyes were glued to the ground.

"Oh," The girl spoke and I think she moved away from the door. "sure thing."

I thought I was in the clear, but right when I opened my eyes, Austin was halfway in the room, I was still outside and John was right in front of me. I couldn't help it, I looked up with my veins pumping blood and my heart drumming. Our eyes met. Those fucking green, sorrowful eyes connected with mine.

"Carson?" His voice was low and quiet and almost desperate in a way.

I wanted to respond, but didn't on account for two reasons. One being the fucking lump in my throat. The second, Austin pulled me into the room and closed the door as fast as lightning.

We stood there in silence for a moment facing each other. It was in that second where I was so tired of all this bullshit and that I determined I actually wanted John back. I wanted him back so badly.

I found myself pushing Austin back on the bed and climbing on top of him, kissing him all over. Naturally, he kissed back, tugging at my clothes and wanting this, but not in the way I wanted it. I closed my eyes and only pictured John.

And fuck, this might be because he lost his virginity and that he called me a whore and all the other times I got mad at him. But in reality, I just felt like shit for what just happened. This wasn't revenge or making him jealous, this was just me being a shitty ex. This was me being just as low as Tara and all her slutty friends. I was the evil ex now. I had turned into someone I never wanted to be.

And that's when I thought: why the fuck did I even get involved? I was never a relationship girl before John. So what the fuck happened?

And I kissed Austin and he took my clothes off and I felt like crying but I didn't. I felt like shit. Complete shit. I wanted to come back to Tempe to avoid feeling horrible, but here I was, just as upset.

Then the door flew open and praise the lord that a blanket covered my naked body. I knew who it was, either way I didn't look up at him. I buried my head in a pillow as him and Austin shouted at each other. My stomach was completely gone now. There was just this gaping hole and I wasn't able to breathe.

I wanted to fall asleep. I didn't want to be here.

So I laid there, curled up under the covers, not looking at either of them. Simply pretending I wasn't there.

"What did you do to her!" John shouted.

"Nothing! Nothing at all!"

"I swear to fucking god Austin, if you had sex with her-"

Austin cut him off. "You know what John? Maybe I fucking did! What are you going to do? You're not her boyfriend anymore! Why does it even matter? You have a girlfriend!"

John paused a moment and then continued on, "I can't believe you would do this to me."

"She's not your girlfriend."

"Yeah, she's my ex-girlfriend. And you know how much I cared about her. This is low."

Austin scoffed, "Oh please, you still care about her. Everyone knows. Give up the act."

After that the door slammed, and I was alone.