We Can't Forget Last Summer

I was beginning to question why I had agreed to such madness. Not only was it freezing, but the open, vacant desert did not look very inviting.... or safe for that matter. Austin pulled up to the campsite with a grin on his face. I looked at Rod in the back seat, his eyes widening.

"There's a lot of people here." He commented.

"Ah, yes," Austin replied, putting the car into park and unlocking the doors. "We do this every year. A whole lot of sex, drugs, and music."

Rod opened the door and I barely heard him mumble, "The drugs and music I could do without..."

The two guys and I unloaded out belongings and tent. Austin and I would be sharing a tent while Rod had already organized to share a tent with Kenny and Pat. He was repelled by the idea of being a third wheel. I also believe he was half way hoping that some chick would invite him to spend the night with her in her own tent.

But, I mean, the chances were highly probable. A shit load of people were hear. Music was all over the place, as well as the smell of smoke and people talking. This was it: a whole bunch of twenty year olds camping in the desert.

Setting up the tent was difficult and eventful. Austin wasn't very good at it. On the other hand-not to brag-I was. Uncle Rich used to take me camping when I was younger and taught me everything I needed to know. So naturally, when Austin couldn't hold up his side of the tent, I took over.

"Hold this," I ordered, shaking the top of the tent in my hand. Austin grabbed it, but his attention was elsewhere. He held a beer in his right hand, the tent in the left. He took a swig and nearly dropped the tent. "Hey!"

"Sorry, sorry." He chuckled, taking yet another sip.

I rolled my eyes as I began to hammer one of the posts into the ground. I hooked one side of the tent in, but there was still so much more left. It was a big tent-I wasn't sure why it was the one Austin chose-and it needed more than one person and a guy with a beer to put up.

I looked around for Rod, but he was elsewhere. "Is anyone else around that we can ask for help?" I asked, peering up at Austin, but he wasn't paying attention.

"Johnooo!" He shouted, releasing the tent in his left hand, allowing it to fall on my head.

I cussed under my breath and pulled the tent off me. Austin somehow got over to where John was. Mel was with John, clearly hand in hand with him. I shook my head, trying not to pay attention.

Finally, a familiar face appeared. "Jared!" I called.

Jared turned around from where his tent was. It looked as if he had just finished putting it up. "Hey Carson! When did you get here?"

I shrugged. "About twenty minutes ago. Can you help me out? Austin ditched."

"No problem! Here hold the end by you and I slid in the stake."

"Okay."

And he did so and before you know it the entire tent was up. Austin wandered off with John somewhere, but I could care less. I hugged Jared tightly. "Thanks bud. Austin is no help."

He sighed. "Boy do I know. You give that guy a beer and he'll forget about every one of his responsibilities."

"Finally someone who understands."

Jared ruffled my hair. "I know all, Carson, I know all. Now let's get the underage girl with an irresponsible boyfriend a drink."

"Hallelujah."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rod was hitting on some red head, John and Mel were making out, Pat and Garrett were roasting marshmallows, Austin was drunk, Jared and Kenny were hanging out with unfamiliar people, and I was staring at the fire, feeling as vacant as other.

I looked up across the fire directly at John and Mel. They were smiling and laughing and holding hands, and god, I've never felt this sick to my stomach before. Sucking in a breath I checked my phone. It was only nine o'clock. What time do people pass out at these types of things?

Oh, and on top of all that shit it was so fucking cold I could see a cloud form in front of my eyes every time I blinked.

Austin sat awfully close to me and I had to continue to remind myself that he was my boyfriend, and that's what boyfriends are suppose to do. But when Austin's hand placed itself on my thigh and dangerously close to my "area" it felt like he crossed a line engraved into my mind.

"Stop," I muttered under my breath.

"Aw, come on." He pouted next to me and I couldn't help but smile. I kissed his forehead lightly and shook my head.

"I'm sorry, but no."

When I glanced across the fire once again and saw John and Mel kissing and then diverted my eyes to find Rod and that red head kissing I had just about had enough. I grabbed Austin's hand aggressively and stood up. He stood up with me, of course, excitedly. I pulled him away.

Behind us, people-mainly Austin's friends- wolf whistled and hollered. One even shouted, "Hell yeah Gibbs! You get in that!"

It was so derogatory and horrible, but I barely cared. We crash landed in the tent and before anything else happened Austin zippered the tent closed. He hovered over me, smirking. I smiled uncomfortably.

The thing was, I didn't want to take off my clothes whatsoever. Wasn't there another way to do this? I mean, fuck it was cold and the idea of being naked was a nightmare right now.

And that's when a specific idea popped into my head. It made my cheeks flush with red and I hated having the idea in my head. I swallowed hard, and glanced up at Austin.

"You're beautiful when you blush."

And fuck, after that I was completely gone. I started crying hysterically and I curled up in my sweatshirt and didn't look up at him. Blushing- only John made me blush.

It was like when he took me to his cousin's wedding and he called me gorgeous and I blushed. The only thing I could think about was him and it was driving me crazy.

As I cried and Austin watched, dumbfounded, I heard two sets of feet running towards our tent, spitting out at each other.

"This can't fucking happen, okay? I'm not letting him do this to her?"

"You're not letting him do this to her?You're the reason why this is happening right now."

The tent unzipped and caused me to jump, but I continued on sobbing lightly.

"What did you do?" A voice as I recognized as Rod's spat at Austin.

"Nothing!" Austin defended himself. "I just called her beautiful and she started freaking out!"

I looked up momentarily, wiping my eyes and making out Rod staring at Austin. Crawling in the tent though, was the tall, lanky kid that I didn't know if I hated or loved.

Rod found his way next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Hey, Car- what's going on? It's okay, alright? I'm here. Don't worry."

Rod kissed the side of my head and rubbed my shoulders quickly. He looked at the two boys who I were afraid of right now. "See what you two do? You think this girl doesn't have feelings just because she doesn't talk about them like every other chick in the universe, but she does. And she's been through shit in the past year. She doesn't need either of you. She's better off."

"I think I know my own girlfriend...." Austin said, matter-of-factly.

"Really? Then why is she crying?"

Austin didn't respond.

"Look, Austin, you're a good guy, but you're not a boyfriend. You're Carson's friend and if it hasn't occurred to you why she agreed to be your girlfriend in the first place, well.... I don't even know what to tell you. She doesn't like you like that. It's obvious."

Yet again, he didn't respond.

"And you, John. I don't know you a lot man, but straighten your shit out before you drive us all crazy. I mean, fuck, you abandoned your current girlfriend to make sure your ex wasn't about to have sex. Doesn't that seem fucked up?"

Looking up and sniffing quietly, I sucked in a deep breath. "I'm sorry," I shook my head, "this is stupid. I'm being stupid. It's nothing."

"No." John's voice caught me by surprised. He let out a light laugh. "You're the sanest out of all of us."

An uncomfortable silence covered us in the tent. John's eyes gleamed as he looked at me, and to be honest, I'm not really quite sure why, but it seemed obvious to everyone else.

Austin looked at John for a moment, then his eyes lit up. He placed a hand on his head. "OH my god! Fucking hell," He chuckled, shaking his head. "Wow. Okay. I'm gonna go now."

Austin left the tent, leaving the three of us staring at each other.

John sucked in a breath and began to back away. "I guess I should go to."

"No," Rod almost cut him off. "you stay. I'll go."

"Wh-what?" I asked, my eyes pleading for him to stay.

But he left, giving me a small smirk before zipping the tent. John scooted over to me, my heart pounding violently. He sat next to me, quiet, for a couple minutes. After awhile he cleared his throat. "Rod really took care of you, didn't he?"

I nodded my head limply.

I thought about everything John and I had. Every time he caused me to groan, smile, laugh, and feel like flying. I thought back to him grabbing my wrist. Or him making me ride the ferris wheel with him. When he kissed me before starting The Maine's gig in California. How he made me pull over on the side of the road to kiss me.

And then I thought about the times I hurt him. When his face fell the day I told him I was leaving outside of the record store. When I refused to stay at his house overnight because I thought he was just trying to get in my pants. Or the time I told him I hated him and then proceeded to go out with Russell.

"I don't to say to you." The words quickly fell from my mouth. "I really don't know anymore."

"Neither do I."

"I can't stop thinking about the summer."

John went to say something, but stopped himself. "Do you love Austin?"

"No."

"Did you love me?"

I look at him, my eyes glassy and stinging. I hated how long it took me to realize this. I nodded my head sheepishly. "A lot."

He pressed his lips together. "I-" He stopped himself again, closing his eyes and taking in a breath. "Come back outside. We're gonna play some stuff."

That was all he had to say to me. He left the tent unzippered when he left. A cool chill came in, causing me to shake lightly. I waited a couple minutes before leaving the tent. I walked back over to the bonfire, my arms wrapped tightly around my torso. John and Jared sat by the fire with both of their guitars in tact and ready to go.

The first few chords of a song began to play. And then John started to sing.

"I'm fucked up again.
I shouldn't drive tonight,
but I keep thinking of you.
I hurt you again, I shouldn't lie tonight so the next few words are true."

Rod found his way next to me. He whispered into my ear, "How'd it go?"

I shrugged. "Nothing really happened."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. "Don't think you're weak, Carson. You know you're everything but."

"I'm sorry,
I'm not what you wanted.
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry I let you down.
I could use some poor excuse,
cause the hardest thing to say,
it's the hardest thing to say in the world,
to you."

"It's about me." I whispered knowingly.

"Don't say that."

I shook my head. "No, I really know that it is. The amount of times John and I have said 'I'm sorry' to each other is absolutely ridiculous. Plus, I can see him writing this right after I left. I just know. It's just something....."

The song finished and I found John looking up at me. He gave me a small smile before Mel caught away his attention. "Please sing Thinking of You!" She cooed and smiled. "It's my favorite."

Although it was hard to see in the darkness I could tell John's face was red. But Jared assured Mel that they would play it.

"It doesn't sound too great acoustically, though." John noted.

Jared gave him and look and furrowed his brow. "What are you talking about? Come on- let's play it."

So they began to play, and I bit my lip watching and listening the the words intently. It was then that something caught my attention.

"Cause she's in my head
And I can't take it
I need you by my side
So I'll take the chance and I'll drive 'till dawn
To show you I'm the one"

The second the song finished and the guys put away their guitars, I marched over to Jared. I didn't even give him a chance to say hello. "A couple months ago-when I was still in Nevada- did you come up to see your relatives?" I asked.

"No," He shook his head. "I haven't visited them since I brought you back to Tempe. Speaking of which.... I should probably call them."

I left him there and tried my best to find John. I searched throughout the campsite, but found no sign of him. When I saw Garrett I caught him by the arm and asked, "Have you seen John?"

He thought for a moment, "Yeah.... he was by the lake."

A lake in the desert was beyond my ability of comprehension, but I nodded my head, said thank you and took off.

It was dark now, but a glow coming from the campsite was illuminating the are of the lake. I stood abruptly upon noticing John sitting down in the sand and admiring the lake. Praise the fucking lord that he was alone.

I marched over to him, sucking in a breath. "You drove to see me."

John turned around and raised an eyebrow. He hoisted himself up until he was, as usual, towering over me.

"Come again?" He asked.

"That time you randomly showed up at my house in Nevada."

"Yeah?"

"You weren't there because you came with Jared to visit his relatives."

John bit his lip and didn't respond.

"You drove up to see me. Alone."

No response.

"And at the same time you were going out with Mel."

He cleared his throat. "I already told you that I had loved you then, Carson. What more do you need to know? The past is the past."

"You wanted us to get back together. You were going to kiss me!"

"Funny how you remember all of that." He mused.

I scoffed. "And you don't?"

He licked his lips hastily. "I have a naturally excellent memory."

"Oh yeah?" I took a step forward.

"Yes. In fact, ask me anything."

"Okay," I thought for a moment. "Do you remember being pushed out of your mother's vagina?"

His shoulders fell and a smile crept onto his lips. "Clearly not, but-"

"How did we meet?"

"The inadequate way or-"

I cut him off, "Both."

"I wolf-whistled at you and called you baby. The second time you were outside of Carter's apartment. And we finally learned each other's names at that fair when Jared introduced us."

"I have to confess something."

He grinned. "What's that?"

"You know how I used to tell you that i thought you were disgusting and you repulsed me?"

He laughed lightly, "Yeah?"

"I really thought you were extremely sexy the whole time. Even your cocky attitude. Everything about you was...."

"Was what?"

"Was what made me fall in love with you."

John took a step forward, closing the gap between us. He looked down at me and held my cheeks in his hands. He leaned in and my heart was suffering from palpitations or something. He was inches from me and the space was closing.

"John!" A voice on the campgrounds called.

He jumped back, startled. He sucked in a breath and ran a hand through his messy hair. "Fuck." He hissed.

"I gotta go." He ran off back into the campsite.

I took a seat down where John was previously. I looked at the dark, careless water shimmering from the glow of the moon and the lights behind me. I looked to my side to see something in the sand. I couldn't help but laugh lightly upon realizing what it was.

"S.O.S"