We Can't Forget Last Summer

Throughout my life I had been forced into sitting through a countless amount of dinners that were uncomfortable, awkward, silent, entertaining, life-less, active, and well, weird.

I had been through way too many dinners if you ask me. Business occasions mainly, but other than that, I had to sit through family occasions and friend occasions and other things. This particular dinner, though, was extremely confusing to me. There was no special event. No birthdays. No deaths. No announcements. No celebrations.

And I suppose that was allowed; just a get together of friends. But either way, it was odd. I mean, my ex-boyfriend coming to dinner at my Aunt's house with his family and new girlfriend? It just wasn't right and the dinner definitively reflected on that.

I sat next to Rod, silent for most of the meal and eating whatever was placed in front of me. Everyone else seemed to be engaged in conversation aside from John and I. We simply ate our food and watched everyone except each other. Ross, who sat across from me, continuously kicked me under the table. Shane had about five glasses of soda. Lea and Sara went on and on about some movie they loved. Rod and Mr. O'Callaghan talked sports. And somehow, Mel, who no one really cared about or talked to was chatting away.

Taylor and Carter were weird. They didn't talk to each other. They weren't sitting close together like most couples, but to be honest neither of them were very affectionate or P-D-A kind of people anyway.

I wished I could just go back to my old room, crack the window and let the cool air float in and take a God damn nap. I was tired as hell, and I felt some impending need to call Austin and clear the air. But the thing was, I knew if I were to call Austin he would bring up John and the try to get the idea buzzing in my brain out of me.

I was just about to excuse myself when Mel cleared her throat and politely chimed, "John and I have an announcement."

I looked up from my plate and continued chewing, glancing at the other faces around me. Everyone's eyes were on John and Mel and my shoulders fell. God, despite how sweet the girl was, she was just too fucking annoying.

"Well, announce away!" Sara laughed, dabbing a napkin across her lips.

Mel glanced at John and then looked back at the rest of us. "Well, we've been thinking about our future together very hard lately. It's difficult because I'll be starting work in Phoenix soon, and John, of course, will be touring the world." She laughed lightly and looked at her boyfriend, holding his hand close to her.

My tired eyes looked at John. His gloomy orbs were looking right back at me. He was pale and had light bags under his eyes. He looked just as tired as me.

"We've thought long and hard about this, and I believe we've made the right decision." She smiled wide, sucked in a breath and I watched as her shoulders went raised dramatically. "We're getting married!"

The room fell silent.

My stomach churned and rumbled.

"Oh God," I groaned out loud, dropping my fork on the plate. I shook my head, "I'm going to be fucking sick."

I ran out of the room, somehow not tripping over anything or crashing into the wall. I ran down the hallway, a hand over my mouth, the other covering my stomach. My throat was closing and my eyes were stinging. I crashed through the bathroom door, landing on my knees violently and with more than just a thud. I ran my arms over the toilet seat, stuck my head in the bowl and proceeded to throw up some type of burning liquid. I coughed and hacked and seriously felt like I upchucked my entire liver and right lung, but I was still not done.

After about three minutes of non-stop disgusting barfing, a soft hand was placed on my back. I didn't bother to turn around and look at who it was. I continued ululating and having a heart attack and seizure all at once. My knees were numb from the tension on them against the cold, damp, tile floor. The bathroom light's flicked on and I knew more people must have gathered from behind me.

Sucking in a deep breath, the metal taste in my mouth was the only thing left behind from what had just happened. I crash landed onto my butt and leaned up against the rose wallpaper and laid my head, closing my head.

"Holy shit." I muttered, still not opening my eyes.

Someone flushed the toilet for me and then I felt the presence of someone next to me. I coughed once more, causing my eyes to flicker open to find Rod on the right, Taylor standing at the doorway with Carter, and Sara crouched in front of me.

I watched Sara swallow and bit her lip. She then continued on the purse them and look at me up and down. "I don't know what to say to tell you the truth."

I shrugged and then muttered through my crackling tone, "Say that everything that just happened wasn't true."

Sara sighed heavily and Rod held out an aspirin and a glass of water. I gladly took the pill and down it with the water, finishing the glass. Clearing my throat, I looked at everyone in the small room and then back at Sara, "Can I stay here tonight?"

She nodded her head limply. "Of course."

"Is he still here?"

"Of course," Taylor nodded her head and shrugged from the door frame. "He was the one who ran after you once you bolted."

I furrowed my brow. "What?" I questioned.

Rod nodded his head, "Taylor came next and told him to go back to Mel, who was like, flipping a shit."

I laughed lightly. "I would have loved to see that."

"It was quite entertaining. I wish I got it on film."

"Why don't we give her some air?" Sara suggested, and everyone aside from me stood up and backed toward the door.

"Can you get John?" I asked, sheepishly.

Sara grinned lightly and looked down the hallway. "There's no real need for that. He's coming now."

And sure enough, Sara and the rest of them ducked out of the room and instantly, John's tall, lanky body leaned against the door frame and looked at me sitting in the corner of the bathroom. All of it was really pathetic in a way. Here I was, crouched on the floor like a weakling, getting sick at the thought of my ex-boyfriend marrying some girl. I didn't even deserve to give some sort of explanation. But in actuality, I didn't have one.

"Are you...alright?"

I shrugged, "I was before."

"Before you threw up?"

I shook my head and mentally groaned just at the thought of my next, incredibly cliche phrase, "No, before I met you."

He looked at me sternly.

"Before you whistled at me and before Jared introduced us. Before I met your family and kissed you and fell in love with you. As much as a disaster I was then, I was alright."

John walked into the bathroom and sat down in front of me. He looked at the floor instead of at me, which I was partially grateful for. As much as I would like to stare at him all day, I don't know how I would be able to handle it.

"You know, I was fine before I met you. I didn't worry about girls and I didn't have a problem with them. I didn't love anyone and I wasn't concerned about my life. You brought a new perspective to me. A scary one, too."

"And now you're getting married. Are you alright with that?"

"I'm an adult now. You know where I'm coming from. You knew you were going to have to get married."

"I didn't have a choice, though," I looked at him, his eyes finally up and sinking into mine. "You're only twenty two, John. You don't need to get married- at all."

"I think we're steering away from the problem at hand." He inquired.

"Fine."

"Why did you get sick?"

I rolled my eyes, my limp arms falling to the floor lifelessly. "I'm so done playing this game," I sniffled and look up at the blinding, lights on the ceiling. "Why do you think I got sick? Come on."

"Carson," I found John scooting close to me. I looked down at the tile, avoiding him. Despite this, his lovely, soft fingers found there way under my chin. He hoisted my face up and our eyes connected.

"Carson," He repeated himself once again, "Are you still in love with me?"

And I looked at him blankly for a moment. And I hadn't made up my mind, but I knew what the answer was. I hated my answer and I hated him. I hated him so much that I loved him too much. I wanted to wake up every morning and have him make me pancakes and watch stupid movies with him at night and loose my virginity to him and I wanted him to marry me, not Mel.

But I was an idiot. I pulled away and blinked repeatedly, hoping to make the tears go away, but they only fell faster. I sniffled lightly and then stood up, brushing off my jeans. "I should say goodbye to everyone."

John scooted back, his eyes up on me and most likely on my back as I exited the room. I was grateful that he didn't say a word.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Are you sure you'll be okay without me?"

I was curled up in my old room's wonderfully white and flawlessly comfortable bed. Rod sat on the edge, offering me a weak smile. I nodded my head peacefully. "Everything is okay. Go home. Get a chick."

He patted my side lightly, the hovered over me, kissing me lightly on the forehead. "Feel better, okay?"

"I will."

After that, I fell into a deep slumber, dreaming of Uncle Rich and how he used to take Carter and I to some go-karting place when we were younger. But then John showed up and I was suddenly older, but Rich was still there. And Rich hugged the two of us and playfully pushed us together and then we hugged.

It was probably the greatest dream I had ever had.

"Oh, good, you're awake."

My eyes flickered to the doorway only to find Lea O'Callaghan smiling softly at me. She held a wooden tray in her hands, a bowl with steam drifting out atop of it. She walked forth, and took a seat next to me, placing the tray in my lap. I sat up, not saying a word and peered down at the chicken noodle soup. I bit back a smile and looked up at her, "My favorite."

"Sara told me that you loved it when you got sick when you were little." She placed her hand on my leg and patted it softly.

I paused for a minute, not really knowing what to say or where in the room I could possibly look to avoid all of this. Either way, an explanation was needed from the both of us.

"What time is it?"

She peered at her watch, "It's about twelve thirty."

"At night?" I cocked an eyebrow.

Her soft chuckle and straight, white teeth that exposed themselves reminded me of John. My heart ached.

"No," She shook her head, "in the afternoon. You slept the entire night.... and morning."

"Wow," I laughed, "I wasn't aware I had that in me."

"You are quite talented."

I bit a smile back and looked up at Lea. Everything about her was John; her smile, her green eyes, her sandy hair.

"If you don't mind me asking- what are you doing here?"

Her eyes lit up, "I wanted to help, of course! I stayed the night and help Sara clean up after everyone left. I felt terrible about how sick you got. Speaking of which, do you feel any better?"

I did, but no one seemed to realize the true reason behind why I was sick in the first place. I didn't have a stomach virus or ate something raw. I was sick because I had come to the realization that I was still in love with my ex-boyfriend. I was in love with a guy who was going to marry someone else. I was in love with a person who was in love with another person. And all of that was what made me sick to my stomach.

I wanted to tell that to Lea too. Some part of me felt as if she would understand, but telling her would only cause a disaster and put her in a difficult situation. I'm sure she loved Mel. Mel wasn't the one who broke her son's heart.

Swallowing the rock in my throat, I offered a weak smile. "A lot better. Thank you."

Lea sucked in a breath and looked down at the floor. She pursed her lips for a moment, admiring the spotless hardwood flooring. "You know," She began, a small smile fluttering onto her lips, "I always felt the best relationships were the hard ones."

I didn't reply solely because I had no idea where this was coming from. Either way, her statement made the oxygen within my body somehow slip out, leaving me frozen.

"My husband and I fought constantly. It didn't matter what it was about, although it was really stupid things. We fought about who forget to fill up the car with gas, or which basketball team was going to win. We hated each other terribly at first. I thought he was a pig, and he thought I was a snob. But somehow, miraculously, we managed to outlast all of our friends's relationships. They were 'in love' the minute they met and kissed way too much, but they're relationships crippled easily. I don't know why ours lasted, to be honest. I think it was because the fact that we didn't think we would end up together. Both of us, we knew it wasn't going to work out. It only made us try harder. Yet trying harder was effortless."

She turned to me, smiling lightly, "I knew you before you knew me, Carson. In fact, my whole family knew you when you were very young, including John. You were about three, John was five. And to put it in basic terms, the two of you were fighting over a a toy truck in this very room. I was in here with your Uncle Rich, the two of us laughing softly at how you guys interacted. And upon just simply watching the two of you argue, you know what Rich said? He said, 'One day, these two will get married.' I remember laughing and then replying, 'I don't have a problem with that.' And then, for whatever reason, we didn't see you anymore. Your parents stole you away and hardly visited. I hardly remember you when you were little- just that one little moment in time. John: he has no idea whatsoever." She chuckled and looked at me, her soft eyes connecting with mine.

I sucked in a shaky breath, "I wish I knew you. I'm sure my life would have been a whole lot better if I had been here."

She shrugged lightly, her hand lightly squeezing my leg, "I want you to know that I don't hate you. I love you, Carson. Even if I don't know you that well. You made John so happy."

I shook my head, "I destroyed him. I was so, unbelievably horrible."

"No, you were not. You taught him that other things are important. You had to make a life for yourself before anything else, and that is more important," After letting out a breath she continued on, "I always thought you and John were perfect for each other solely because Rich did. And let me tell you something, your Uncle Rich was always right. Always."

My eyes stung and tears huddled on the ends of my eyelids.

"When you came back from Nevada and I saw your friend Rod I nearly had a heart attack. I thought you had moved on, and I didn't want you to as horrible as that sounds."

I sniffed and rubbed my eyes. "What about Mel?"

She shrugged lightly. "Mel is a wonderful, lovely girl, but she doesn't fit John."

"Why not?"

She sucked in a breath, "Well for starters, they've only known each other for five months." She laughed softly. "And secondly, she doesn't argue with him, or laugh at him, or make fun of him. She doesn't make him nervous and stressed out. He isn't as happy. And above all of it, she really just isn't you."

"He loves her though, doesn't he?"

Lea shook her head without a word and right then, that single simple action told me what I needed to do.