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Letters For Jimmy
The night you died was the last time I cried
James Owen Sullivan. I hadn't known the name for more then fourty-eight hours when you passed. I could lie to you all and say I had always liked the band, but that would be pointless. There are no lies among friends. I was fifteen, and I thought you were over rated. And how I was wrong.
You see, Jimmy... I was going through a pretty rough time then. My thirteeen year old sister, Avalon, had killed herself. My older brother, Jared, ran my baby brother, Alexander, out of the hourse. So it was me, and my eleven year old twin siblings, and my mother all alone. Jared never showed up at our house other than to criticise her for adopting my brother, who is gay. I needed an out. Any out. And so I started cutting... like some teenagers who feel like hope is lost will do. I'm not proud of that choice I made, but I made it and I regret it.
December 27, 2009. The day a name came up on my computer screen. The day I decided to do some research. I listened to Avenged Sevenfold for the first time that night. And I was amazed. I was happy. I was overwhelmed. Finally, I had found something that held the same feelings I had. The same strength of emotion. And I liked the vocals. I adored the bass. Hell I even liked the guitar. But it was the drums that made me continue to listen. The whispers, the back voice in critical acclaim...It was you, Jimmy. It was all you. I found out you were going on tour in spring and I bought a ticket to the show. I wanted to meet you so badly. Wanted to thank you. Because I knew the second I started listening to your music, that you had saved my life. And then, the next day.... I logged on super early, and I got an email from my best friend. She's a long time fan.
The email was an article from the internet saying that you had overdosed. And that you were gone. I was never going to thank you. Never going to meet you or hear your beautiful voice again. And I cried. I cried for days and days. And nobody knew why. Nobody knew what was wrong with me. Jimmy... You died on my birthday. And it destroyed a little part of me. I know i hadn't known your music long, and never even met you... but I still got this wave of sadness. it's still here, even now. That pain and longing and wishing I could dpo anything to bring you back. But the afterlife needs a drummer, and their choice was ideal. It was just... too soon.
I don't cry anymore. I don't cry over losses. Not when my mother lost the battle to cancer, not when my brother tried to off himself like Ava. I know now, that it's okay to be sad... but you and everyone I love will always be with me in everything I do. Everything- except sit around crying and feeling sorry for myself. And you know what ? I still hear your voice every day. After all, Fiction is foREVer.
You see, Jimmy... I was going through a pretty rough time then. My thirteeen year old sister, Avalon, had killed herself. My older brother, Jared, ran my baby brother, Alexander, out of the hourse. So it was me, and my eleven year old twin siblings, and my mother all alone. Jared never showed up at our house other than to criticise her for adopting my brother, who is gay. I needed an out. Any out. And so I started cutting... like some teenagers who feel like hope is lost will do. I'm not proud of that choice I made, but I made it and I regret it.
December 27, 2009. The day a name came up on my computer screen. The day I decided to do some research. I listened to Avenged Sevenfold for the first time that night. And I was amazed. I was happy. I was overwhelmed. Finally, I had found something that held the same feelings I had. The same strength of emotion. And I liked the vocals. I adored the bass. Hell I even liked the guitar. But it was the drums that made me continue to listen. The whispers, the back voice in critical acclaim...It was you, Jimmy. It was all you. I found out you were going on tour in spring and I bought a ticket to the show. I wanted to meet you so badly. Wanted to thank you. Because I knew the second I started listening to your music, that you had saved my life. And then, the next day.... I logged on super early, and I got an email from my best friend. She's a long time fan.
The email was an article from the internet saying that you had overdosed. And that you were gone. I was never going to thank you. Never going to meet you or hear your beautiful voice again. And I cried. I cried for days and days. And nobody knew why. Nobody knew what was wrong with me. Jimmy... You died on my birthday. And it destroyed a little part of me. I know i hadn't known your music long, and never even met you... but I still got this wave of sadness. it's still here, even now. That pain and longing and wishing I could dpo anything to bring you back. But the afterlife needs a drummer, and their choice was ideal. It was just... too soon.
I don't cry anymore. I don't cry over losses. Not when my mother lost the battle to cancer, not when my brother tried to off himself like Ava. I know now, that it's okay to be sad... but you and everyone I love will always be with me in everything I do. Everything- except sit around crying and feeling sorry for myself. And you know what ? I still hear your voice every day. After all, Fiction is foREVer.