If I Could Gather Up the Nerve

The music got louder, as I ventured into the living room. Garrett’s house was pumping—alive—with teens and partying. I pushed through, making my way into the living where my gaze caught that bouncing hair.

“Gare,” I whisper-yelled, wrapping my hand around his arm to grab his attention.

“Hey,” he screamed, smile still on his face, “you made it!”

I nodded, wincing as someone bumped into me. He slipped his hand through mine, pulling me into the kitchen and handed me a plastic cup. I took a sip, as he led me back into the living room and pulled me against him. Some up-beat, rock music was blaring, and he started dancing.

“I can’t dance,” I chuckled lightly, biting my lower lip, as I tried to pull away from him.

“Just let the music carry you!”

I sighed quietly, attempting my best to follow in sync with his moves. I tripped over his feet, forcing him to catch me and laugh.

“I’m going to get some fresh air,” I wheezed, coughing slightly and stood up straight.

Garrett only smiled, pulling me towards the back of his house. He slid open a door, allowing us to step onto his back deck and shut it behind him.

“Hey,” John slurred, bounding up the deep green stairs, “Gare-bear and chick!”

I winced, noting that he was drunk. Drunken people and I didn’t match up well, and that was all because of Aiden. I clenched Garrett’s hand a little tighter, allowing my gaze to trail around the backyard. I glanced back at John, as he continued rambling on about whatever the hell he was talking about.

“I’m gonna go get him some water,” Gare pressed his lips against my ear, pecking it slightly, “Keep him company?”

I nodded, not really wanting to and watched Garrett excuse himself through the glass door. I crossed my arms over my chest, meeting John’s weird-ass gaze, “What?”

He shrugged; throwing his arm around my shoulder, “What’s up, buttercup?” his breath reeked of vodka.

I shrugged, glancing down at my shoes to keep from having to talk to him directly.

“Aw, not talking to me?” he teased, pinching my cheek lightly, “Chickie, you’ve gotta talk sometime,” he giggled, pecking my forehead.

I half wanted to kick him in the balls and run home, and then half wanted to push him over the banister. I shoved him away from me, becoming a small child in the process as my eyes stung violently.

“Hey,” he pressed, eyebrows furrowing as he got irritated, “What’s up your ass?”

“Don’t,” I closed my eyes, “do that.”

“Do what?” he inquired, getting back in my face, “this?” and pressed his lips against mine roughly.

I reached up, punching him dead on the nose, before moving back. Tears were streaming down my face, and I couldn’t stop them as I ran towards the door.

“Chick,” John called, grabbing my shoulder roughly and spun me back around. His nose was spilling blood, as he cupped it, “What—”

I reached down; biting his hand and dug my teeth in.

He screamed, pulling back, “Fuck,” he glanced back up at me, gripping my shoulder one time, “Just listen to me a second!”

I shook my head, pushing him backwards. He was a bit stronger, though, as he pushed me against the glass. His lips clamped down on my once more, only to let go as the door lurched open. We toppled to the ground, between a pair of feet. John lay on top of me, attempting to get up.

I glanced up, meeting Garrett’s torn eyes. I shook my head, slipping out from under John and pushed passed Gare and the others who grouped up to see what the commotion was about.

I pushed my way back to my house and into my room. I sat down on my bed, clenching my fists and pushed them to my temples. I screamed, earning my bedroom door to burst open.

“Riles,” Ethan took my hands into his, furrowing his brows as he kneeled in front of me, “What happened? You reek of booze.”

I cried, not being able to control myself, “He-he was like Aiden,” I sobbed, digging my nails into my brother’s palms, “Drunk an-and trying—” another sob broke my words, as I fell into my brother’s open arms.

Ethan held me against him, rubbing my back and sighed as we sprawled to the floor.