Some Say This Can't Be Real.

A few uneventful weeks went by, and March turned into April. The guys began to spend a lot more time in the studio as they were slowly starting to record their new album. They had all the songs written, and the few that I had heard were both chilling and emotional, as they were written in tribute to Jimmy. I used a lot of the time alone I had to talk to my friends from Chicago, who were planning to come out for a visit soon. I spent most of the nights with Zack, but would spend at least one or two a week with Johnny because I felt bad for leaving my brother alone. One morning that I woke up in my own bed, I reached for my phone to send a usual good morning text to Zack, but not before reading one I had received from Amy.

Karlee was in a bad car accident last night. She's unconscious in a coma and in ICU. Call me ASAP!

My heart sank into my stomach and my body went numb as I read the message. I wanted to call her, but if I did now, I'd have a panic attack over the phone. I could already feel myself gasping for air as I headed towards Johnny's room.

“Johnny!” I shouted down the hall as I went to his door. “Johnny, wake up!” I said as my voice began to crack. I made it to his room and opened the door, seeing his empty bed. “Fuck!”

I staggered back down the hallway into the kitchen area. His car keys and shoes were gone. I needed him here. I needed somebody here right now. Johnny, or Zack. I knew I wasn't capable of driving to Zack's place, so I collapsed to my knees in the middle of the living room, holding my phone in front of me. As thoughts of one of my best friends dying raced through my head, I found Zack's name and dialed his number. By now, I was almost hyperventilating, trying to find the tears to produce. Trying to find the way to have my mental breakdown and cry.

“Morning, baby,” he answered.

“Zacky...baby...” I said between breaths.

“Lisa, what's wrong?” He asked quickly.

“Johnny's not here...Can you come over?” I said as I finally felt the tears welling up in my eyes.

“I'll be right over. What happened?”

“Bad news from Chicago. One of my friends was in a car wreck.”

“Okay, stay calm and breathe. I'll be there as soon as I can, and I'll stay on the phone with you.”

“No, don't drive and talk,” I said as I instantly thought of him getting distracted and getting in an accident. “Just hurry, baby.”

“Lisa? I love you. I will hurry. Call your brother and get him home too. Maybe he's closer.”

“I love you too.”

I hung up the phone and remained in my position in the middle of the living room. Just the previous night I was talking to both of them happily, planning their visit, and now Karlee was borderline dead. One of the people that helped me rebuild my life was now losing hers. I soon was able to breathe again and started sobbing. After what felt like an eternity later, my tears were interrupted by the doorbell buzzing. I managed to get up and walk to the small panel by the door and push the button to let him into the building. I cracked the door to the apartment before leaning against the counter, letting tears fall down my cheeks again. Zack came in, and immediately I hugged him tightly, crying into his chest as he tried to comfort me. He guided me to the couch and sat down with me, rubbing my back until I slowly calmed down.

“Baby, she's still alive, she'll be fine.”

“I need to call Amy, but I'm afraid.”

“Don't be. You need to know the details, and you should go visit for a few days.”

“I can't leave you.”

“Lisa, don't worry. We're busy here with recording, so I'll be occupied just fine. Your friends, they need you just as much as we did through rough times. I'm not saying that you have to go, but I think you should. It might make Amy feel better if you re there with her.”

I sighed, looking up into his eyes. “You're right.” I took a few deep breaths before grabbing my phone to call Amy as Zack continued to rub my back.

“Lisa?” she answered in a broken up voice, like she had been crying.

“Yeah. I got the message. How bad is it?”

“A guy T-boned her on the driver's side. Someone-they don't know who-ran a red light. They think the guy that hit her ran it right after it turned red. Her car wasn't totaled, but it was enough to injure her badly. Her left arm is broken as well as ribs, her left leg is fractured, and she has a head injury.”

“Fuck.” I leaned over to rest my head in my free hand. “Is she still in a coma?”

“Yeah. They're saying that she'll recover, but still, it's scary...” she paused for a moment. “I know this is kind of a long shot to ask, but is it possible for you to come here for a few days?”

“I'm gonna try and get a flight out there by tomorrow. My friends and boyfriend are recording, so they're pretty busy. I'm not doing anything so I can come out there. I'll let you know.”

“Alright. Keep me posted.”

“I will. Bye.” I hung up, and let out a sigh as I leaned against Zack. “This sucks.”

“How bad is it?”

“Broken left arm, some broken ribs, fractured left leg, a head injury, and in a coma. She was T-boned on her side.” I could feel myself starting to break down again and Zack held my quivering body close to his.

“Everything's gonna be okay,” he said softly before touching his lips gently to my temple. “We'll get you a flight out there, and you can go visit them. You guys are still good friends, and she needs you-they both need you.”

I nodded and continued to lean against his body, wrapped in his arms. The moment remained silent for a while until the sound of a key sliding into the lock broke it. I froze, wondering how to talk to Johnny about it, but his voice filled the room before the moment even had a chance to get awkward. “Zacky, I saw your car, you two better not be defiling my apartment!” he shouted as he walked in. I looked up at him, seeing his expression instantly change. “What's wrong?”

Without words, I stood up and ran into him, wrapping my arms tightly around his body before I began to cry again. He was taken aback by the sudden action, but asked me what was wrong again as he rubbed my back.

“I n-need to go to Chicago f-for a few d-days,” I said in a quivering tone, my face still buried in his chest.

“What happened?” he asked softly as he guided me back to the couch to sit.

“Karlee was in a car wreck last night, and she's in a coma,” I explained. “I need to go see them.”

“Wow...umm...” my brother stammered, not knowing how to respond. “Shit..”

“I was about to call LAX to see if they had a flight to get her on, “ Zack said.

“Is she going alone?”

“That's why I haven't called the airport yet.”

“Lisa?” Johnny called for my attention.

“I'll go alone. I don't wanna distract you guys from recording or anything,” I said as I pulled away from my brother and leaned against the backrest between the two of them. “I mean, I'd love to have someone come with, but I'll be fine if I go alone.”

“What if Val agreed to go with or something?” Zack asked.

I shook my head. “No. I'm not gonna be a burden on anybody. I'll be fine alone.”

Zack leaned towards me to plant a quick kiss on my head before getting up to make a phone call. My brother still sat next to me. “Everything will be okay. I promise you that.” I just nodded slowly, not wanting to talk about it anymore. Johnny didn't take long to latch onto my sadness. “Come here.” He offered an open arm which I took. He hugged me again as a few stray tears slid down my cheeks.

We remained silent, except for Zack s mumbling on the phone from the balcony. A few moments later his head popped in. “No flights tomorrow, but there's one that leaves at like seven tonight, arrives in Chicago O'Hare around eleven-thirty.”

“That's fine,” I said. I'll take that one. But what about a flight back?”

“How long are you gonna stay?”

“I don't know. A few days? I don't know how bad she is, and I'd like to see if she gets any better before coming back.”

“How about you just let us know and we'll get you a flight back?” Johnny asked as Zack went back outside to finish his call.

“I guess,” I grumbled as I stood up. “I'm gonna go call her and let her know.” I walked to my room and sat on my bed with my phone in my hand. After a few deep breaths, I called Amy.

“Hey,” she answered solemnly.

“I got a flight, but it's tonight. I leave here at seven, and land there around eleven-thirty at O'Hare.”

“Okay. I'll be there. How long are you staying?”

“I don't know yet. I wanna see her make progress before leaving, and wake up.”

“I guess we'll play by ear then.”

“Yeah. I'll see you tonight then.”

“Alright. Bye.”

I hung up the phone and set it on the nightstand before laying down. I hugged a pillow close to my chest, wishing that this was all a dream. A few minutes later, I heard soft footsteps approaching, and then my bed dipped followed by a pair of arms wrapping around my body. “Everything will be fine,” Zack whispered close to my ear. “I'll take you to the airport later, just go to sleep if you want to.”

I could feel tears threatening to fall again, but before they could, I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty bed. After I checked my phone to make sure there was no more bad news, I got up and headed out towards the living room. Johnny and Zack were lost in a video game and barely noticed my entrance. As I was about to go back to my room and pack, my brother cursed at the game before calling my name. I told them to keep playing and that I was going to pack. It didn't take long for me to pack, seeing as I just stuffed some shirts, socks, bras, underwear, and two pairs of jeans into a suitcase. Then I grabbed a small travel bag and went to the bathroom to grab my toothbrush and other hygiene products. Once it was done, I rejoined the two men in the living room, crawling on the couch behind Zack to sit between them. I watched for a bit, and as it seemed that I was given a sign, my stomach grumbled while a load screen was on the TV.

“Hungry?” Zack asked.

“Not really.”

“Bullshit. That was loud enough to wake the dead.”

“I'm not, or I just don't have an appetite.”

“I ordered a pizza anyways,” Johnny said.

I sighed and continued to watch them play their game. I nibbled on some pizza after it arrived, but really didn't have an appetite. Soon it was time for me to go to the airport. I said bye to my brother before leaving with Zack. The ride was silent, but he held my hand the whole way. At the airport, I held him for a bit, not wanting to let go. I wanted him to come with, but I knew it would cause a burden on the guys. It was hard to part ways with him, but I did, and headed to catch my flight. I was fighting tears in my seat as I watched LA grow smaller as the plane flew away.