Some Say This Can't Be Real.

“Guys, trust us, the nerves calm down after the first few shows,” Matt said behind Karlee and myself, wrapping his arms over our shoulders.

It was the first day of the tour, and we were in Minneapolis, just moments from taking the stage. All three of us were nervous, just as we had been for the record release show, even though this was a lot different. We weren't just opening for Avenged Sevenfold. This was much bigger. They didn't tell us until the day before that we were playing a festival, and they also didn't tell us that at first we weren't even supposed to be in the lineup. They had managed to pull a few strings a few months back when one of the second stage bands backed out. It was still early in the day and we were the third band to play. I hadn't eaten all day because if I did, I knew I'd throw up, just like I had for the other show. Nonetheless, I was still excited, and I couldn't stand still as I looked to see part of the crowd. I knew most of them were just hanging out and waiting for the main stage area to open.

“You'll be fine, sis. I promise,” Johnny said behind us.

I turned to face the group. Matt, Zack, Brian, and Johnny were there for support. I gave my brother a big hug and told him that he was right. “We should be used to this.” I laughed, looking towards my two bandmates.

“You're in a new place, that's why you're nervous,” Zack said behind me before kissing the side of my head.

“Yep, exactly.” Johnny agreed. “But it's time, so go kick some ass.” He unwrapped his arms from me and gave me a gentle shove towards the stage.

I walked onstage to sit at my kit, giving a wave to the crowd that clapped and cheered just a bit. Amy and Karlee were right behind me. “What's up Minneapolis!?” Amy shouted as I started the intro to the first song on our set.

We had a seven song set, and for our last song, it was suggested to us to have Matt come out and sing backup vocals. It was a newer song that we wrote, and after they had heard it, Matt suggested having a guy sing backup vocals, and offered to sing with us. He said it was a good favor to us, especially since they had me playing druns on their final song. To anyone that had already seen us open for the guys back home, they knew we were close friends with the guys, but to anyone who was just hearing us for the first time, they were in for a surprise.

Our set had a few flaws in it, but it was nothing major. The crowd hadn't been completely into us which was expected, but there were people bobbing their heads, turning to their friends near them and nodding. People clapped after each song and cheered for us which made us all smile at each other. As we had those people, there were also people who had just walked away, and some who had shaken their heads before pushing their way out of the crowd. Of course it was a bit hurtful to us, but we knew that everybody wasn't going to love us.

“This will be our last song for the day. We hope you enjoyed us, and you'll be able to find us wandering around after our set with our demo CD,” Karlee said. “We're pleased to announce a very special guest to help us on this last song. A great friend to all of us, and helped get us on this tour. Please give some cheers for Avenged Sevenfold's own M. Shadows!”

A few deafening screams rose from the crowd as Matt came onstage, giving a wave to the crowd. “How's it going mother fuckers!” he shouted into Karlee's microphone. The song went by smoother than any other song on our set, and when we were finished, we thanked the crowd, gave a bow and went to disassemble our small set-up. Just like with the other show, a few shouts of approval rang out. It was enough to make me smile as we brought our gear back to the guys' trailer. I wished that we had a merch booth, but since it was still quite a short notice about the tour, we couldn't get anything made. We did, however, manage to burn demo CD's, and would do it throughout the tour for people who wanted to buy them for a few bucks a pop.

After everything was all packed up, Valary showed Karlee backstage where she could go sleep since she was taking the first driving shift after we left. Val then joined Amy, Arin, and myself as we went on a walk around the festival grounds. I hadn't seen a lot of Valary lately, so it was nice to be able to hang out with her. We'd pause our conversation when people would stop us. Most of them had stopped us to talk to Valary, but a few people had asked to buy a demo from us. It may have been around twenty or twenty-five people, but it was enough to make me smile. It meant twenty-five more fans than we had before.

We went back to find the guys after a few hours of walking around in the sun. They were hanging out by the buses under a little canopy that they had set up for shade. I walked up behind Zack and leaned over his shoulders. “So we sold like twenty-something CD's today.”

“Really? That's pretty awesome,” he said before giving me a kiss.

“Yep, and now I'm cooking alive, so I'm gonna go use your guys' air conditioning, and your computer to burn a few more CD's. Don't go eat without me.”

He nodded before Amy and I went inside. As we were burning the CD's, we were talking about our set earlier that went better than we expected. After an hour, Amy was also getting tired and went to find where Karlee was at to also take a nap. I finished burning about fifty CD's before Zack came inside and said they were going to eat. The main stage had been open for an hour, so the majority of the concert-goers were in there. Zack, Johnny, and myself were the runners sent to go to one of the concession stands. I was a bit nervous for them, because I knew how some fans could be when they see someone from their favorite band just walking around. As predicted, a few people did stop us to which Zack and Johnny were happy to chat for a moment and take a few pictures. Once our arms were full with food, people would say hi but not try to stop us. After hearing crazy fan horror stories, it was something I had always expected, but this was actually nice. Though, even this happiness wouldn't take our minds off Jimmy and how much we wished we could be sharing this with him.

After eating and some more hanging out, the sun was setting so the guys had picked up a bit before we all headed backstage. I wanted to take a nap too, but I'd get to sleep most of the night unless they needed me to drive. We weren't going far, but after being up all day and trying to drive at night was a bit of a nuisance, and we didn't want to risk any accidents. Plus I couldn't go to sleep now since the guys' set was coming up, and not only did I need to stick around, I wanted to as well due to excitement. I watched from the side as they performed yet another flawless and energetic set. Throughout the set, Valary was with me and we were chatting while paying attention to the guys. I wasn't paying full attention until Mike came and scared me. “They're about to make the announcement for you,” he said as he handed his drumsticks to me.

A wall of nerves came at me like a tidal wave, and I stared blankly out at the stage. Val was behind me, placing her hands on my shoulders. “Don't be nervous. You're gonna do great.”

“Alright, Minneapolis, we had a fucking blast with you guys tonight, but sadly it has to come to a close. We have one more song for you before we take off, and we'd like to announce a very special friend to help us out on this last song. She's part of the band Unbound who are close friends of ours, playing the second stage on this tour. Give a huge shout out for my little sister!” Johnny announced.

Valary gave me a small hug before giving me a shove towards the stage. I walked out with a white knuckle grip on the sticks in my hands. The crowd was enormous which scared the hell out of me. I waved to the crowd before taking a seat in the stool. Johnny's bass intro to the song started and I took a few deep breaths. Throughout the course of the ten minute song, I felt like I had made a million mistakes due to the fast pace of the song and it being my first real time playing it. When it was over, I was angry and upset with myself as I pretty much sprinted off the stage before tears began flowing. I ran past Valary and her twin, past Arin, past the Berry twins, and went to find a place to not be bothered.

I sat in a corner sobbing for a while, but it wasn't long before I heard familiar voices behind me. “Baby, are you okay?” Zack asked, placing a hand on my back.

“No, I fucked that song all up for you guys,” I muttered, turning to see him and my brother.

“No you didn't,” Johnny said. “You were actually really great.”

“Fuck that, I made a ton of mistakes. I probably shouldn't do it anymore so the word doesn't spread and you start getting booed because of me.”

“Lisa, don't say that. Everybody makes a few mistakes, and they were hardly noticeable. Everyone was into the song, and they don't even notice the mistakes. The song still sounded great.” Johnny was squatting in front of me as Zack was rubbing my back.

“I don't deserve this. Mike just needs to play the song.”

“How about this,” Zack started behind me. “Talk to Mike about it. From one drummer to another, he'll tell you about it.”

I sighed. “Deal.” After I stood up, both of them grabbed me in a small group hug before we went back to find the others. I was a bit embarrassed still and tried to avoid everyone while trying to get Mike's attention to talk to him. Zack was right about it, because Mike was older, more experienced, and could help me out a lot. The two of us walked away from the group and sat in the bus area by ourselves. “So tell me the truth, was I as bad as I thought I was?”

“Not at all. There were some mistakes, but that's normal, and the crowd hardly ever notices. They're just there to have fun. The song is long, it's fast, and it's difficult. For your first time actually playing it live, you pretty much nailed it. You said you learned a lot from Jimmy right? Well Jimmy taught you well, and don't worry, you have me here for help too. You weren't horrible, and you can only get better from here,” he explained in a very reassuring tone.

“I guess,” I mumbled.

He gave me a reassuring hug before heading back to the group. They all gave me hugs and said that I did fine for the song. I was starting to believe them, but I wouldn't fully believe it until I saw a video of the song, and saw it for myself. We all hung out for a while until Karlee and Amy came to find me, suggesting that we get on the road and try to get a head start to the next city. We had a bit of a cruise, and needed to jump on the road soon.

We started to say our goodbyes for the night until Matt interrupted. “You guys do know that if you need any help at all, give one of us a call. We've been where you guys are now, and we know it can get exhausting, so if you need help driving, please don't hesitate to ask one of us to help. Granted we don't have bunks and enough space for everybody, but if you need to sleep somewhere other than the car, you guys can take turns on the roadie bus, they have an extra bunk or two.”

“Thanks, Matt,” Amy said as we started towards our car.

The four of us crammed in the car and were off towards Bonner Springs, Kansas. Amy was driving, Karlee was in the front seat as a back-up while Arin and myself were in the backseat to try and sleep. Arin managed to get comfortable in his sitting position, but I couldn't and ultimately ended up resting my pillow on his lap and laying down in the seat. I knew the next few months were going to get exhausting, but I wasn't going to let it fade the happiness I was feeling that I was on an actual tour with some of the greatest friends I could ask for in my life.