Some Say This Can't Be Real.

Straight off of one tour, the guys were already planning and organizing their next run. Another short one, but had them out until the end of May which was around the time the baby was due. I knew that when the time rolled around, I could go into labor and give birth at any given moment, and the most I could do is hope for the best that Zack would be by my side so he wouldn't miss the birth of his first child.

“Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” The nurse asked us as I was getting my ultrasound.

I turned to Zack and asked him if he wanted to know. He nodded and we made the mutual decision to find out. Our eyes were glued to the screen as we watched the black and white image on the screen. It was something we couldn't figure out right away until the nurse had mentioned it. “And right here you can tell that we don't have a penis. So it looks like you two will be having a little girl.”

I smiled as my mind instantly formed an image that you only see in movies. An image of our little girl being daddy's little princess, and then when she was a teenager, Zack turning into the overprotective father to make sure his little princess didn't get hurt. The thoughts caused me to burst out in a small giggle as I met my boyfriend's eyes.

“What's so funny?” Zack asked.

“Just thinking about how our daughter will be your little princess, and your little girl that you're always going to protect.”

Zack smiled. “Sounds about right probably. I think I'll be good at it.”

Afterwards, we met everybody for lunch and I broke the news to them that I was having a girl. The group exploded into a fit of questions asking if we had thought of any names yet. Obviously we hadn't, but we had started brainstorming on the way home and for the hour after we arrived until Zack actually had come up with one that instantly stuck. “Lilliana Marie,” he said confidently.

“Lilliana Marie Baker,” I said. “I love it.”

I thought he would've mentioned something about using his last name over mine, but he didn't. It seemed fitting to use his, in case he ever did decide to propose. We happily agreed on the name, and that was when it happened. I felt the weirdest thing, like something was pushing against me from the inside. It had happened more than once too. “Oh, my god!” I exclaimed softly. “She's kicking.” I reached for his hand and held it over where I felt the pushing sensation.

Zack smiled. “I feel it.” I watched as he lowered his head to my belly. “Lilly, you're gonna be daddy's little princess,” he said in a soft, gentle tone. She kicked again. “She can hear me.”

I leaned back and just smiled, wanting to freeze this moment forever.



Time flew by and once again it was time to say our goodbyes to the guys while they left on another tour. They had a later flight so we were able to all meet up at the airport. I watched Valary embracing her husband tightly as she said goodbye. She usually goes with them, but insisted on staying home with me. I was eight months pregnant and essentially could go into labor anytime now. At the moment I was okay, but since their tour ended a few days after my due date, Valary wanted to be around. I assured her that I still had Michelle, Lacey, Leana, and even Karlee and Amy, but her mind was made up.

I tried to fight tears as I embraced my boyfriend. Well, I embraced him the best I could with a massive belly getting in my way. “No tears, baby, please?” Zack murmured into my hair.

“I'm just upset because what if you don't make it back before I have the baby?”

“I know, I know. She'll come when she's ready though, and there's nothing that we can do about it. Trust me, I don't want to miss my daughter's birth either, but if you go into labor and we're in the midwest, I doubt I could make it to an airport and get the next flight out here to make it.” He pulled away and used his thumbs to wipe the few tears that began to fall from my eyes.

“Just hold it in,” Johnny said from behind us, causing the whole group to laugh.

I couldn't help but laugh either. “If only it were that easy.”

We finally parted ways, standing back with the girls and watching the guys walk into the airport. Afterwards, we all went out to dinner and caught up on some much needed girl-time before we went our separate ways. “Remember, if you need anything at all, and I mean anything, call me,” Valary said. “I don't care if it's three in the morning, if something is happening, call me.”

“Val, I still have at least a month before I go into labor,” I laughed. “I'm sure I can handle the next few weeks, but don't worry, I will call if I need anything. I have you and the rest of them all on speed dial one through six.”



The weeks went by smoothly until the week before my due date when I was woken up by severe abdominal pains. At first I thought I had gone into labor, but the pains didn't feel like contractions. I got up to go to the bathroom, hoping that would help, but it hadn't. It was then that I noticed the bleeding and I began to worry. Luckily, it was already morning, and I wouldn't feel bad for calling my doctor and waking him up. I had told him what was going on, and he told me to come see him. He hadn't sounded alarmed, but I was still worried. I called Valary and she was outside in ten minutes, ready to take me to the hospital.

I remained unusually calm, but was definitely on edge. Valary also stayed calm while I talked with the doctor about what had happened. “Well, I would like to get you in for an ultrasound and see what's going on in there. Then run a few tests as well. It sounds like you might have a mild case of placental abruption, and if that is the case we need to make sure there is no distress to you or your child. Once we determine what's going on, we'll go from there to decide what to do with you.”

I nodded and was prepared for the ultrasound. Valary was at my side, repeatedly asking if she should call Johnny or Zack. I refused until I knew exactly what was happening, because I didn't want to upset any of the guys while they were on tour. After the ultrasound, he had a nurse draw some blood while I stayed in the bed. I swear that an eternity went by before the doctor came back, not saying anything yet while he took my blood pressure. All that stayed on my mind was that I could possibly be having my baby within the next few hours, my boyfriend was on the other side of the country, and I just wanted him here with me. I had Valary, but I was still scared.

“There is a mild case of placental abruption, but the good news is that you and your baby seem to be under no distress and stable. In these cases, we would just send you home on bed-rest until you went into labor, but since you are just a few days shy of your due date, we're going to admit you so we could keep the situation monitored. Not only are you so close to your due date, your baby is already in the ideal position for birth, and you're three centimeters dilated. If everything stays as is, you'll go into labor naturally very soon and that will be that. However, if the condition changes, as I said earlier, we will have to induce labor at the very least and try to stay away from performing a C-section.”

All I could do was nod and time following was a blur until I was situated in my hospital room. I still didn't want to call Zack, but I knew that Valary would keep bugging me to do so. I sighed as I listened to the other line ringing. “Everything okay?” Zack answered.

“Well, yes and no. They admitted me to the hospital, but just for monitoring. They said I have a mild case of placental abruption, but everything is fine with that. He admitted me because the baby is in the position for birth, and I'm three centimeters dilated, so he said I should go into labor in the next few days. Everything is stable for now, and they're hoping that I'll just go into labor on my own, but if the condition gets worse, they'll either induce labor or perform a c-section.”

“Baby, do you want me to get out there?” He asked, failing to cover up his concern.

“I don't want you leaving the tour for this, especially if I don't even go into labor for another week or two and you could've finished the tour.”

“Sweetheart, you've been admitted to the hospital, our child could be born any day now. I'm going to get a cab to the nearest airport and I'm coming out there. We already have a backup guitarist to take my place.”

I sighed. “I guess I can't stop you then, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Thanks, baby,” I mumbled. “I love you, and I guess I'll see you soon.”

I tried to relax for the rest of the day after Valary and I informed the others. They were in and out through the day telling me to keep them posted. Valary didn't leave my side, which I was grateful for. I did want Karlee and Amy to be around, but at the same time, I just didn't want too many people around. Zack had called as the afternoon was turning into evening, saying that the next flight he could get on that was non-stop didn't leave until two-thirty in the afternoon of the timezone he was in. I tried to assure him that everything would be okay because I felt fine.

I managed to sleep through the night after convincing Valary to go home and also get some sleep. Zack called me in the morning to check in, asking me if the baby was still inside. I couldn't help but laugh and once again assure him that he would be here well before I went into labor. Shortly after the call and after I had gotten up to use the bathroom, I was on my way back to sleep when the doctor walked in. “How are you feeling?” He asked as a nurse turned on the ultrasound machine.

“I'm feeling okay. A little bit of pain here and there, and still a little bit of bleeding, but not a lot.”

The doctor just nodded and proceeded with the ultrasound. I was watching the screen until I heard the doctor give a small 'hmm,' and then I turned my attention to see his facial expression grow serious enough to make me nervous. He asked me questions about how I've been feeling the baby's movement, and I answered that I hadn't felt a whole lot, my voice fighting to stay calm. He followed by taking my blood pressure.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

He explained that my baby's heart rate has risen just a bit, but tried to assure me that it was because I hadn't eaten much, so the lack of food in my stomach meant a lack of food for my baby. I was still worried which made me not want to eat, but I forced myself to do so. A little bit after eating, I felt her kicking which put my mind more at ease. The doctor came back to check on the baby, hoping that the heart rate did drop. When I saw his face remaining serious, I finally had gotten scared.

“With the heart rate higher than normal, this could be a result of the abruption. She might not be getting all the nutrients or enough oxygen. I know we all wanted everything to work itself out naturally, but we're going to get everything prepared to induce your labor.”

My heart sank, and as I fought the tears, I tried to keep myself confident that Zack would make it here in time for the delivery. He wasn't even flying yet, and after the doctor left the room, I sent him a text message after I called Valary.

They're going to start inducing labor.