Sing

The next day, my aunt called the school and told them I was sick. I don’t think it was a virus, but my aunt told me I could take a personal day, because I honestly didn’t know if I could get through the day. This is what amazed me. I hadn’t told Nessa about Frank yet. I was scared of either her telling me I was wrong or her not saying it was wrong. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I had never had that situation before. For the first time in my life, I was honest to God scared of love, of pain, of relationships… I wanted nothing more than for my mom to be here, homeschooling me.

Around 4:30 or so, the phone rang, and I didn’t want to answer it. Only a minute later, Nessa brought me the phone.

“Hey, it’s Gerard, “she said, handing me the phone.

“Hey, “I said, taking the phone from her.

“Hey, sugar, “he said softly. “How are you feeling? Your aunt told me you were sick…”

“Yeah, I think it’s just like a cold or something. I don’t think it’s serious, “I said, hoping that would keep him happy.

“Okay, I just wanted to see how you were and to tell you that you didn’t miss much. Mikey says there was only a worksheet in Bio, but he did it for you, and there wasn’t any Spanish. Bob said you only missed some gay-ass activity. Ray says there were a few partner problems, but he did that himself. And, we didn’t have anything in Drama. We just talked about what Mr. Gatty did when he was in high school. So, I don’t think you have any homework, “he said, and I could just see the smile on his face.

“What about English?” I asked.

“Well, I haven’t talked to Frank today. He was really weird. He didn’t sit with us today. He went and sat with his ex-boyfriend. Did something happen yesterday?” He asked, and I could tell he was nervous about an answer. I thought long and hard for a minute.

“No, I don’t think so, anyway, “I lied. I knew very well what was wrong with him.

“Oh, okay, “he said, slowly as if he didn’t know whether or not I was telling the truth. “Well, I’ll let you get some rest. I just wanted to check on you. I love you…” I felt a sting in my heart.

“Thank you, “I said quietly. “I love you too…” I said, choking on ‘love’.

“I’ll talk to you later, “he said, and I just hung up. I couldn’t stand it. I knew I’d have to get along somehow but I had to figure out how. I thought for a couple minutes and then picked up the phone and dialed a number. It rang and rang.

“Hello?” A voice answered.

“Frankie, it’s me. I really need to talk to you, “I said quickly.

“Oh, okay, what about?” He asked slowly.

“About what happened yesterday, “I said quietly. “I have to tell you something… We can’t let Gee find out about that and you can’t just avoid him! He’ll know something’s up… He just called me and was asking me if anything happened that might make you act so weird!”

“Well, I couldn’t be alone with him today! It felt really weird… I just kissed his girlfriend… When you get back, I’ll try… But, I can’t and won’t sit with him alone… Not right now, anyways…” He said quietly.

“Frankie… Yesterday, you said you wanted me to kiss you because you wanted to see something… What is it that you wanted to see?” I asked, remembering a question that had been at the back of my mind since he had said it.

“Well, “he said quietly. There was silence.

“Hello?” I asked.

“I wanted to see what it was like to kiss a girl who didn’t want me for my looks or for my money… I wanted to see what it’d be like to kiss a girl who isn’t fake… I wanted to see what it’d be like to kiss a girl who actually cares…” He said quietly. “I wanted to feel what it was like to kiss a girl like you…”