We've Got More Than We Know

“Are you sure you’re five months? You look a lot bigger than that,” Josh had to pick on me when I was at the Grant’s house.

“Shut up, Josh. Don’t make this pregnant lady get up,” I shot back.

“Maybe she’s having twins!” Kirstie smiled with that exciting buzz coming off of her… like it always does.

“There’s only one baby in there, thank you very much,” I countered, cradling my rapidly growing tummy.

“I am not convinced,” Josh had to add.

“You know, if I didn’t like you as much as I did, you would so be getting it right now,” I muttered over at Josh who was holding his daughter. She seemed to be getting a kick out of this little conversation though.

“What are you going to do? Wobble over to me and sit on me?” he smirked, holding in his laughs.

“You guys are mean. I want to go hang out with Zak,” I pouted while crossing my arms.

“Aw,” they both cooed at the same time.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have a little thing for that boy,” Josh snickered.

“I don’t have a thing for him… I can’t have a thing for him,” I countered with my voice drifting off towards the end.

“And why not?” Kirstie pondered while sending me a look.

“I’m having another guy’s baby… it’s just… weird to get involved with someone when I’m pregnant,” I muttered.

“Well, Zak doesn’t seem too put off by it. I don’t see anything wrong with it. Tanner sure isn’t doing anything about it,” Kirstie replied.

“But… I still have hope that he’ll come around,” I sighed.

“Ky, I love you. I’ve been your best friend since high school and I would love for you and Tanner to be together even though I’m not too happy with him right now. But… you’re more than half way through your pregnancy and he hasn’t been around for one doctor’s appointment. Does he even know what his child’s going to be?” she questioned.

“No,” I sniffled quietly.

“Do you know?” Josh asked, shifting the direction of this conversation.

“I have an envelope that does. I just figured it should be something that… Tanner and I should share,” I shrugged.

“I think your Auntie needs a hug,” Josh smiled down at his daughter before he got up and sat next to me.

Emma sat on my lap and looked up at me with a cheesy grin that she so got from Josh. It made me giggle. She then went on to open her arms out for me. My smile grew as I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame while she did the same. Her little arms hooked around my neck and squeezed, but not tight enough so that I couldn’t breathe. Once she let go, I gave her cheek a quick kiss.

“You doing anything tonight?” Kirstie asked after that little moment.

“Keegan’s back from his little snowboard trip. The family’s having a dinner… and I think… I’m going to take Zak,” I couldn’t hold in my smile.

“You like that guy,” Josh chuckled.

“He’s… good looking. I can’t help it,” I told them.

“Oooo, he’s good looking,” they both said at the same time in their own little obnoxious way. It made their daughter giggle, but I just rolled my eyes.

I stayed a little longer though; long enough to text Zak and ask him if he wanted to go to dinner with me. I kind of left out that I was going to my parents, but he didn’t question once I started driving. As an hour ticked by and we were still on the road, he started asking.

“My brother’s in town and my family wanted to have a little gathering. And I didn’t want to make this drive all by myself,” I told him, adding a little pout to make him chuckle.

“Why would I be against going to see your family? We’re friends. It’s not like we’re in this serious relationship or anything,” he mumbled cutely in the most adorable way while moving his eyes about my vehicle.

Since I’ve been pregnant, Zak and I have been hanging out a lot like you’ve most likely guessed. But I’m trying to hold back what I feel towards him. I’m blaming it mostly on hormones and the fact that I really wish my baby’s father was here.

My brother was hard to convince of this… he teased us all night! I’ve never been so embarrassed in front of my own family before in my life. And to think I was happy to see him when I got here! I was so happy after dinner though. I went right up to my room with Zak in toe… of course that didn’t help my cause.

“I don’t know who was redder during that meal. You or I,” Zak teased once he sat down next to me.

“You should do something to his profile on Rockstar,” I muttered.

“He’s your younger brother. It’s what they do best,” he chuckled while hooking an arm around me.

I let out a sigh and relaxed against his chest. As time went on, he started rubbing my upper arm and even left a soft kiss on the top of my head. Tanner used to do that. That thought quickly went away once I felt my baby kick. I smiled and ran my hands over my tummy.

“Do you want to feel?” I asked Zak softly while looking up into his eyes.

A smile came over him as he nodded his head and gently placed his large hand next to mine. The second his palm laid flat, the baby moved again. Zak looked back at me and smiled bigger than he had before.

“Do we still have to call it an it?” he asked after a few minutes.

“I haven’t looked at my papers yet,” I sighed.

“What’s stopping you?” he asked, placing his hand on top of my mine.

I sighed and dropped my eyes from his. The only thing that was stopping me was Tanner. I wanted so badly for him to be with me when I found out. But the more I thought about it, the more Kirstie’s words rattled through my brain.

“You’re more than half way through your pregnancy and he hasn’t been around for one doctor’s appointment.”

I shook that thought aside as I got to my feet and walked over to get my purse… that had the paper in it. Zak came over and hooked his arms around me from behind, resting his open palms on my stomach as I fiddled with the paper. I took in a deep breath as I unfolded it. The word that I saw made me gasp and turn around to look at Zak who had saw it too.

A huge smile was on his face that made mine shine through too. We just shared this beautiful moment that Tanner should have been here for. I don’t know what exactly came over me, but I reached up and left a kiss on his plump lips that I never thought would ever be shared between us. It was like one that Tanner and I would share.

I wanted to feel like this was wrong, but… I couldn’t. Zak’s stuck by me through so much. If Tanner wanted to be here, he would have been. It hurt to think about, but I’m going to be there for my son no matter how much his father is involved.