We've Got More Than We Know

So Keegan has been staying with us for the past three days and no one….really…knows about it. It’s not that I’m afraid to tell anyone, it’s not like anything’s been going on just a lot of cuddling but I didn’t feel like they needed to know.

As I was making dinner Emma came running into the kitchen squealing and laughing. She came over and clung to my leg with giggles still pouring out of her.

“What are you doing, silly goose?” I asked while smiling down at her.

”KEEGIE MONSWER!” She squealed right as Keegan came running into the room.

“Fee fi fo fum, I smell the blood of Emma Grant!” He teased while ‘looking’ for her.

“What are you Keegs, a vampire?” I laughed.

“Want me to bite your neck?” He joked while looking over at me.

“Keegie!” Emma almost piped up. “Cash me!” She smiled while running around and Keegan chased her.

Eventually he grabbed her and tossed her up in the air before catching her again. That boy is super sweet. He reminds me so much of Josh.

Speaking of Joshua, I’ve called him about three times every day only to get his voicemail every time; but want to know how many times he’s called back…ONCE! and that call lasted two whole minutes because he had to go. It makes me mad at him.

The three of us then sat down for dinner and Emma wanted to sit on Keegan’s lap she always want to with Josh too and he of course let her. Those two love each other so much and Keegan always devotes a ton of time to her. I think it’s really sweet of him especially since Emma’s not even related to her.

“Mama, we play?” Emma asked once we had put all the dishes in the sink.

“Sure honey, we can go play,” I smiled down at her.

I picked up my daughter as Keegan walked next to us. He got out some cardboard boxes and drew on them, making a little city.

“We need some people in the town,” Keegan spoke up when he was done.

“Go get some of your stuff animals, sweetie,” I said to Emma.

She nodded her head before going upstairs and getting a few of them. When she came back down her little arms could barely hold all of the animals in her arms. She dropped them right in from of Keegan and send a cheesy smile up at him and it looked just like Josh. It almost hurt to see that and think of how Josh is almost ignoring us.

The three of us played for a couple hours before it was bedtime for Emma. Keegan and I took her upstairs and tucked her in just like Josh and I usually do. We each kissed her before going back downstairs.

“Kirstie, are you alright? You haven’t seemed quite right,” He gently said.

“I just… I don’t know,” I sighed while falling onto the couch.

He came over and sat down next to me then put an arm around me. I started crying and he pulled me onto his lap while I hugged onto him. Keegan held me tightly and I hate to say it but it felt so good in his arms. I felt comforted and that’s what I really wanted.

“Talk to me,” He softly said while stroking my hair just like Josh used to do.

“I’m sick of Josh never being here. Even when he is, he’s somewhere else emotionally and mentally. I always feel like we take second place to everything else and I’m tired of feeling invisible with him sometimes,” I started. “I feel like we’re drifting apart because we never talk anymore.”

“Why don’t you two talk?” Keegan asked me.

“Because when we do he didn’t listen to me, or would be texting someone while we talked so I just kind of gave up. I don’t want it to be like this,” I cried while burying my face into his chest.

“It’s okay Kirstie,” He soothed me while rubbing my back. “It’ll be alright.”

“Thanks for being here for me Keegan,” I weakly smiled.

“Of course. I’ll always be here for you,” He told me. I just wish Josh was the one saying that.

He held me for a while longer until I felt my phone vibrate, alerting me of a text message. I immediately pulled it out, hoping to see it was from Josh. It wasn’t.

‘Whatcha’ up too?’ I read the text from Kylee.

‘Hanging with your brother,’ I replied and hit send. I don’t know why I told her Keegan was here with me, but I’m not sure why I kept it a secret in the first place either. This is confusing.

Keegan and I snuggled up together on the couch and watched a movie. Snuggling doesn’t hurt anything. I mean, he is really cute and kind of really attractive but Josh is still more attractive. Right now Keegan’s character is way more attractive to me though, since Josh is being a butthead.

I heard my phone buzz a couple more times but I knew it would be from Kylee. it’s not like my husband would text me or anything. I didn’t really care right now though, I was busy snuggling with Keegan.