Loving Me First
It Can't Be
After waking up and finally realizing where I was I made Kay a bottle and gave it to her then got dressed. I threw on some black jean shorts, a blue racer back tank top with no bra; I didn’t need one with this shirt and my blue and black sandals I had got from Under My Feet. I put my hair in a ponytail with a bump in the front. I got Kay out some clothes and after she was done eating I dressed her in some green shorts and an orange halter top. She’s a five month old baby, she can’t walk, nor crawl, who the hell cares if she has on shoes. I picked her up and went downstairs. When I got to the living room the first face I saw was Ray. But his eyes slightly widened and when I looked around I knew why. The room was full of dudes and just a couple of chicks one of which was sitting on his lap. But what the hell was I tripping for. Then I saw Mariano but he was already getting up and walking out the door.
“Mariano!!” I yelled walking out after him. He ignored me and kept walking. “Please talk to me.” “Ray Mila for real out of all dudes you chose to get pregnant by Ray.” “I didn’t choose to get pregnant at all it just happened.” “So why didn’t you tell me? Did Lina know?” My silence must’ve spoke loud cause his eyes widened. “So she knew but you didn’t tell me. You knew I saw this nigha everyday.”
“And that’s the reason I didn’t tell you. It would’ve ruined your income. Obviously he didn’t give a damn that he was about to become a father and I didn’t want you to try to convince him otherwise.” “Mila that’s b.s. You know whatever the hell went on between ya’ll is ya’ll business. I still would’ve appreciated being let know that yo baby daddy was somebody I worked with.”
“I know and I’m sorry but please, please don’t stop talking to me.” “Mila when have I ever.” He said walking closer to me and hugging me. He grabbed Kay away from me and kissed her. Listening to her giggle he threw her in the air until Ray came to the door. “Mariano it’s time to get down to business.” I don’t know if it’s me but Ray’s eyes looked like they held a spark of jealousy. Mariano just smiled at him and shook his head. I started checking my pockets and realized I forgot my phone.
“Keep her I forgot my phone.” I raced past Ray and got my phone. When I came back downstairs the chick that was sitting on Ray’s lap was cooing at Kay. I’m not a jealous chick but if I don’t know a chick I don’t want her touching my baby. I grabbed Kay from Mariano just as a knock sounded at the door. Ray stood up and pushed me away from the window and peeked out. “Anyone of ya’ll know this bright skinned chick on my porch.” I pushed him and peeked out the window then smiled. I pushed him again running for the door. “Lina!” I yelled swinging the door open. She bum rushed me in a hug. “Boo boo. I fukkin hate your brother and mines.” “I hate yo azz too.” Mariano yelled from the couch. She just smiled. “You could’ve brought me with you. You knew I was gone have trouble getting here.” “Oh well didn’t nobody tell you to bring yo azz.” She flicked him off. “Hi miss infamous Lina.” Ray said. She looked at him. “Hi mister deadbeat.” She smiled back. But it was so fake. “Hold up. That’s yo baby.” The chick yelled. I just smiled. “Time to go.” “Where ya’ll going?” “Boy I don’t answer to nobody.” Me and Lina walked out the door. We just wanted to walk around get to know the neighborhood. After walking and talking for a while we came across a park. I sat Kay in one of the baby swings and began pushing her as I watched these fine azz dudes play basketball. Lina was talking on the phone helping me push Kay. I was bored so I picked Kay up and went to watch the boys Lina got off the phone and stood next to me. “You wanna play don’t you?” She asked. “It’s been so long.” She just laughed. Somehow the ball came off the court and stopped right in front of me. “Aye lil ma can you get that?” “Aye I gotta go.” One of the dudes said running off the court. “We a player short.” One of the dudes stated the obvious. “Thanks for stating the obvious.” The dude in front of me said. “Anybody out here know how to play?” He yelled. Nobody answered. Lina pushed me. “I’ll play.” “My dudes play rough.” “And you telling me for what reason?” He looked at me up and down. “In that?” I looked over at Lina. “Trade shoes.” We set down and she gave him me her black and white Nike Blazers. “This so ruins the outfit.” She pouted. I laughed. “What you doing?” We looked and saw Ray, Mariano and the rest of them. “What it look like?” “It look like you finna join a bunch of dudes.” “There you go.” I gave Kay a kiss then handed her to Mariano. I went and stood in the middle of the court. This dude sneered at me. “Does she even know how to play?” “Pass the ball.” He did kinda roughly, like he was stating a point. “Move.” I stood at the three pointer line dribbled the ball, and sunk it. “Did she prove her point now?” The dude who let me play asked. The other dude just shrugged.
As we got into the game the dude kept whispering things to me seeing as he was on the other team. Mostly it was just him telling me that females didn’t belong in those kinds of sports. It was actually funny to me until I jumped up for a shot and he grabbed my boob and yanked. I fell down catching my breath. I could see Ray trying to make his way to the court but Mariano was holding him back. The evil dude looked at me laughing. “You’ll know better next time.” The dude who invited me to play, Jay, came and helped me up. “You alright ma?” “Give me a sec, and I’ll let you know.” He let me go and pushed the other dude. “That’s a female and that’s a damn foul.” He just continued laughing. “I’m good. Let’s play.” I said smirking and rubbing my boob. “You sure?” Jay asked. “Positive.” After somebody called game the evil dude was behind me but other then trying to get the ball I elbowed dude in his face angling upwards. Obviously I hit my mark cause he let out a cry of outrage and I moved out the way to turn and look at him. His nose was gushing blood. I couldn’t help but laugh. I think everybody was. “I think the bitch broke it.” “This bitch will break a whole lot more you keep calling me out my name.” He charged for me but people held him back. “Let him go I ain’t scared to fight a bytch,” I said still laughing. The dude waved his hand at me as his azz was escorted off the court. “Ray you gone play?” Jay asked. Ray looked at me, smiled then said yeah. “Damn ma it seems like we always on opposite sides.” “Maybe that’s the way it should be.” He just smiled as the game started back up. Game over we won of course. “Good game lil mama. I’m gone need you on my team more often.”Jay said giving me a hug. “You know you too damn close right?” Ray asked coming out of nowhere. “My bad Ray this you?” “Fuk naw I’m not him.” “Naw Jay give it a lil bit mo time. We already got a baby might as well take it farther.” I glared at his stupid azz comment. “You know yo azz ruin everything.” “Mila let’s change shoe’s yours are still ruining my outfit.” Lina whined. “Come on you big azz baby.” I laughed. “I know that’s why you love me though.” We traded shoes. Glad my feet weren’t sweaty nor stinky. Afterwards Mariano handed me Kay. “Mama baby.” I said blowing raspberries on her belly. She grabbed onto my face giggling. Lina and I went to sit on the bench. “Lina!” I said as something popped in my head. “What girl?” “I think I like him.” “Who?” “Ray.” I whispered. She looked at me to see if I was serious then burst out laughing. I hit her. “Is that so bad Mila? You obviously had some feelings for this dude if you walked out on his azz the morning after ya’ll had sex.” “Lina lower yo voice. That’s not the point though.” “There is no point Mila. You like him that’s it. Just see where ya’ll can take it.” “You just ugh.” “I bet you do it though.” “Whatever. Let’s go I saw a Taco Bell on our way over here and I am starving.”
“Mariano!!” I yelled walking out after him. He ignored me and kept walking. “Please talk to me.” “Ray Mila for real out of all dudes you chose to get pregnant by Ray.” “I didn’t choose to get pregnant at all it just happened.” “So why didn’t you tell me? Did Lina know?” My silence must’ve spoke loud cause his eyes widened. “So she knew but you didn’t tell me. You knew I saw this nigha everyday.”
“And that’s the reason I didn’t tell you. It would’ve ruined your income. Obviously he didn’t give a damn that he was about to become a father and I didn’t want you to try to convince him otherwise.” “Mila that’s b.s. You know whatever the hell went on between ya’ll is ya’ll business. I still would’ve appreciated being let know that yo baby daddy was somebody I worked with.”
“I know and I’m sorry but please, please don’t stop talking to me.” “Mila when have I ever.” He said walking closer to me and hugging me. He grabbed Kay away from me and kissed her. Listening to her giggle he threw her in the air until Ray came to the door. “Mariano it’s time to get down to business.” I don’t know if it’s me but Ray’s eyes looked like they held a spark of jealousy. Mariano just smiled at him and shook his head. I started checking my pockets and realized I forgot my phone.
“Keep her I forgot my phone.” I raced past Ray and got my phone. When I came back downstairs the chick that was sitting on Ray’s lap was cooing at Kay. I’m not a jealous chick but if I don’t know a chick I don’t want her touching my baby. I grabbed Kay from Mariano just as a knock sounded at the door. Ray stood up and pushed me away from the window and peeked out. “Anyone of ya’ll know this bright skinned chick on my porch.” I pushed him and peeked out the window then smiled. I pushed him again running for the door. “Lina!” I yelled swinging the door open. She bum rushed me in a hug. “Boo boo. I fukkin hate your brother and mines.” “I hate yo azz too.” Mariano yelled from the couch. She just smiled. “You could’ve brought me with you. You knew I was gone have trouble getting here.” “Oh well didn’t nobody tell you to bring yo azz.” She flicked him off. “Hi miss infamous Lina.” Ray said. She looked at him. “Hi mister deadbeat.” She smiled back. But it was so fake. “Hold up. That’s yo baby.” The chick yelled. I just smiled. “Time to go.” “Where ya’ll going?” “Boy I don’t answer to nobody.” Me and Lina walked out the door. We just wanted to walk around get to know the neighborhood. After walking and talking for a while we came across a park. I sat Kay in one of the baby swings and began pushing her as I watched these fine azz dudes play basketball. Lina was talking on the phone helping me push Kay. I was bored so I picked Kay up and went to watch the boys Lina got off the phone and stood next to me. “You wanna play don’t you?” She asked. “It’s been so long.” She just laughed. Somehow the ball came off the court and stopped right in front of me. “Aye lil ma can you get that?” “Aye I gotta go.” One of the dudes said running off the court. “We a player short.” One of the dudes stated the obvious. “Thanks for stating the obvious.” The dude in front of me said. “Anybody out here know how to play?” He yelled. Nobody answered. Lina pushed me. “I’ll play.” “My dudes play rough.” “And you telling me for what reason?” He looked at me up and down. “In that?” I looked over at Lina. “Trade shoes.” We set down and she gave him me her black and white Nike Blazers. “This so ruins the outfit.” She pouted. I laughed. “What you doing?” We looked and saw Ray, Mariano and the rest of them. “What it look like?” “It look like you finna join a bunch of dudes.” “There you go.” I gave Kay a kiss then handed her to Mariano. I went and stood in the middle of the court. This dude sneered at me. “Does she even know how to play?” “Pass the ball.” He did kinda roughly, like he was stating a point. “Move.” I stood at the three pointer line dribbled the ball, and sunk it. “Did she prove her point now?” The dude who let me play asked. The other dude just shrugged.
As we got into the game the dude kept whispering things to me seeing as he was on the other team. Mostly it was just him telling me that females didn’t belong in those kinds of sports. It was actually funny to me until I jumped up for a shot and he grabbed my boob and yanked. I fell down catching my breath. I could see Ray trying to make his way to the court but Mariano was holding him back. The evil dude looked at me laughing. “You’ll know better next time.” The dude who invited me to play, Jay, came and helped me up. “You alright ma?” “Give me a sec, and I’ll let you know.” He let me go and pushed the other dude. “That’s a female and that’s a damn foul.” He just continued laughing. “I’m good. Let’s play.” I said smirking and rubbing my boob. “You sure?” Jay asked. “Positive.” After somebody called game the evil dude was behind me but other then trying to get the ball I elbowed dude in his face angling upwards. Obviously I hit my mark cause he let out a cry of outrage and I moved out the way to turn and look at him. His nose was gushing blood. I couldn’t help but laugh. I think everybody was. “I think the bitch broke it.” “This bitch will break a whole lot more you keep calling me out my name.” He charged for me but people held him back. “Let him go I ain’t scared to fight a bytch,” I said still laughing. The dude waved his hand at me as his azz was escorted off the court. “Ray you gone play?” Jay asked. Ray looked at me, smiled then said yeah. “Damn ma it seems like we always on opposite sides.” “Maybe that’s the way it should be.” He just smiled as the game started back up. Game over we won of course. “Good game lil mama. I’m gone need you on my team more often.”Jay said giving me a hug. “You know you too damn close right?” Ray asked coming out of nowhere. “My bad Ray this you?” “Fuk naw I’m not him.” “Naw Jay give it a lil bit mo time. We already got a baby might as well take it farther.” I glared at his stupid azz comment. “You know yo azz ruin everything.” “Mila let’s change shoe’s yours are still ruining my outfit.” Lina whined. “Come on you big azz baby.” I laughed. “I know that’s why you love me though.” We traded shoes. Glad my feet weren’t sweaty nor stinky. Afterwards Mariano handed me Kay. “Mama baby.” I said blowing raspberries on her belly. She grabbed onto my face giggling. Lina and I went to sit on the bench. “Lina!” I said as something popped in my head. “What girl?” “I think I like him.” “Who?” “Ray.” I whispered. She looked at me to see if I was serious then burst out laughing. I hit her. “Is that so bad Mila? You obviously had some feelings for this dude if you walked out on his azz the morning after ya’ll had sex.” “Lina lower yo voice. That’s not the point though.” “There is no point Mila. You like him that’s it. Just see where ya’ll can take it.” “You just ugh.” “I bet you do it though.” “Whatever. Let’s go I saw a Taco Bell on our way over here and I am starving.”
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Soooo the lyric in the beginning is the theme song for The Secret Life of an American Teenager but I don't know who sings it. If you know please let me know