Loving Me First

I woke up to Ray wrapped around me. And I mean literally wrapped around me, his arm was around my waist and his leg was thrown over mines. We were sleeping facing each other. I quietly lifted his leg off me but when it came to his arm it seemed like it kept tightening. I tried again and he laughed. “Ray I gotta go pee pee let go.” He opened his eyes and looked at me. “How bad you gotta go pee?” “Bad enough.” “Bad enough to give me a kiss before you go.” “Ewwwww no I have morning breath.” He pulled me closer and kissed me. A kiss that made me weak in the knees. He pulled back and I hurriedly got up and went into the bathroom. After taking care of my business in the bathroom I came out to find Ray sitting up in my bed with the remote in his hand. My thoughts drifted to us. Was he ready for a relationship for me? Like did last night make us official. At that thought I just had to smile. “What you over there smiling about mami?” I looked up to find Ray staring at me kinda hard. But then his gaze drifted over my body which made me remember I hadn’t put on any clothes. “Come lay back down.” I walked back over to the bed and got under the covers but kind of far away from him. He gave me a funny look then slid one of his hands under my body and the other grabbed my waist and he pulled me on top of him. “Ray!” “What now that I got you I don’t want to let you go. Is that so bad?” He said giving me a sad face. I just smiled and shook my head. I laid down on him and was out again. I guess I was as exhausted as everybody was saying. When I woke up I was the only one in bed but at least I had on some of my bugs bunny boxers and a tank. I got out of bed went to the bathroom then went downstairs. Ray was in the kitchen eating a sandwich. Some dude was going through the fridge and another was sitting at the table. When Ray looked over and saw me he waved me over. “It’s cool I was just hungry.” I said walking over to the cabinet. When I walked into it I felt somebody slap my azz. For a second I was too shocked to turn around. I heard gurgling which snapped me out and I turned around to find Ray had the dude by his throat. “Ray let him go. Let him go dude.” “Never put your hands on her.” He said letting him go. “Next time I’ll snap that mu’fucka.” “My bad man you usually past them around.” “Why the fuk would I past my wifey around dude get yo damn head together.” “Damn Ray you finally found a wifey?” The other dude said. They both turned to look at me. The dude who wasn’t holding his throat came over and hugged me. “Thank you for finally taking this hoe off the streets.” I couldn’t do nothing but laugh at that. The other dude punched him in the shoulder. “Introduce us dumb azz. And the next time you grab my throat I’m putting yo azz in a body bag.” “It took yo azz long enough for a comeback.” The dude in front of me said. All the while Ray was standing there shaking his head. “Mila these are my brothers Cody and Corey. The one in front of you is Corey. Ya’ll this is my babymama/wifey Mila.” “Babymama. Nigha you ain’t got no kids.” “That’s what I thought at first too. But come to find out I have a six month old named Kaiori.” “How the hell are all ya’ll Cuban but ya’ll have white boy names.” They all laughed at me. But hey I was curious. “We’re only half Cuban. Our mother is black and white and our father is Cuban.” “Ohh.” “You tried to hide Ray kid from him.” “Don’t come at me like that. I ain’t try to hide her from him Ray just didn’t believe me when I told him. Know what I’ll just go out and get something to eat.” “Mila.” Ray said as I headed up the steps. I igged his azz and went to my room to throw on some jean shorts, some varsity red, white, neutral grey, and black mid top Nike Blazers, with a red tank. I grabbed my phone and saw I had a missed call from Lina. I called her back and she told me Kay needed some more clothes. After I packed a bag for Kay. I went downstairs. “Mila where you get yo kicks from?” I looked down at my shoes. “I order them off this site called eukicks. Ray can I get your keys?” “Where you going.” I gotta drop this bag off to Lina for Kay and I’m getting me something to eat.” “Ooooh can I ride I wanna see the baby. Can I go can I go can I go?” I had to look at this dude like he was crazy. “Damn boy how old are you?” “Eighteen.” Corey said laughing at his lil brother. “Come on.” Ray said grabbing his keys off the counter. I rolled my eyes and snatched the keys. “I’m driving.” He grabbed me around the waist as we walked out the front door. “I know you ain’t mad?” “Nope why would I be mad. But you do need to get EVERYONE hipped to the fact that I didn’t hide my baby from you. That was your choice. I’m not finna have everyone coming to me making stupid comments.” “And I won’t allow that to happen again.” He kissed my earlobe and we walked out the front door. We drove back to Saint Louis to talk with Lina and drop the baby stuff off. “I’m ready to go now.” I whispered to Ray. We had been here for almost three hours now. Ray’s brothers just would not leave Kaiori alone. “You think we can creep out on them.” He whispered back to me. I shrugged. “Lets try.” We scooted off the couch and started walking backwards towards the door. “No ya’ll nighas aint trying to leave us.” Corey said laughing and putting Kaiori down. “I think that mean its time to leave.” Cody said smiling. “Thank god.” I gave my baby and Lina a kiss then we left. “I’m hungry Ray.” “What you want to eat Mila?” “Steak and Shake.” We stopped at a Steak and Shake in Bellefontaine then started driving home. We were almost on the highway when out of nowhere a car crashed into us and I do mean hard. Our car flipped three times before landing back on its wheels. Idk what happened after that. I blacked out. When I woke up I heard a beeping and voices. My eyes peeped open and I saw a lot of people. To my left was Lina holding Kaiori, to my right was Ray in a wheel chair having a conversation with Corey, Mariano, and a bunch of other dudes. Ray looked really heated. I turned to look at Lina who had tears rolling down her face she looked at me and I tried to whisper shhhh. Luckily she understood. “Where’s Cody?” “He’s in an induced coma. Four shattered ribs and he had hemorrhaged but they managed to stop it in time.” I let the few tears that were threatening to fall fall. “If I we had just went home instead of stopping to get me something to eat.” Lina grabbed my face. “THIS is not your fault. What happened was going to happen whether you wanted Steak and Shake or not.” “What you mean?” “Do you know anything about the beef between Ray and his use to be right hand man Sal?” “Only that they’re not friends anymore over something that happened two years ago.” “That is not all there is to he story. Sal-“ “Shouldn’t I be the one to tell her that story. I mean it probably would sound better coming straight from the horse’s mouth rather then second hand.” Lina nodded. She knew he was right. She got up with Kaiori but he grabbed her hand seeing as he wasn’t standing. “I ain’t saying you gotta leave ma. Shyt you know you want to listen to get the story straight anyway.” “You know I do.” She said sitting back down. Ray looked at me. At the tears rolling down my face. He rolled closer to kiss the tears away. “It’s not your fault esposa. It’s mines. Aiight so stop crying.” I nodded. “So are we finally going to start the story?” Darnell, who I had not noticed, said sitting next to me on my bed. Ray just flicked him off while continuing to look at me. “Me and Sal grew up together. I mean from kindergarten all the way up. I mean you can say I practically grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth my dad was in the drug game and was the Kingpin of his city. My mom came from a pretty rich family her pops was a neurosurgeon and her moms was the best lawyer yo top dollar could buy. Funny thing is they met in high school. My moms may be my dad’s number one but she’s not his only one which she accepted until he slipped up and got Zeaira mom preggo. Zeairas mom is Sal’s aunt which is how we met. For some reason Sal was always jealous. No matter how hard he tried to hide it it was always hidden just beneath the surface. Then I met Shontelle. I knew Sal liked her but I also knew she never recuperated the feelings. So we took a liking to each other and it turned into us almost becoming teenage parents.” He paused which caused me to look at Darnell. “What you mean almost?” Lina asked. “Shontelle was 8 months pregnant when she was kidnapped and murdered. She was missing for weeks no sign no trace or anything, taken coming home from work.” “So how did you know it was Sal?” I asked curiously. “Because along with my unborn son’s head and his mother’s hand was a note that said snakes are always in plain view.” “I’m confused so he killed because he wanted her but you got her.” “No he killed her because in his opinion I always got what I wanted. While he got my leftovers or the second hand shyt.” “I still don’t get why your girl and your baby.” “Because they meant the most to me outside my family. Well that’s how he see’s it. Now I got the South and the North side on lock he got the East and West. So you know it’s just a full out war. That’s all.” “That’s it?” I couldn’t help to think that throughout this whole story I was still stuck on one thing. He had a baby. Whether that baby lived or not he still had a baby which he never told me about. And on top of that I asked him. “When can I go home?” I turned and asked Darnell. Everybody looked at me like I was crazy. “That’s all you got to say?” Ray asked. I looked at him and smirked. “I have a lot to say but I’d rather not say it while I’m laid up in a damn hospital bed, your brother in a damn coma, and sitting here in front of my brother and my best friends. My worries and concerns over this situation are the least of my concerns. Darnell when can I go home.” He shook his head getting up and leaving the room. “Um um well I’m hungry, Mariano let’s go.” “Why I gotta go?” He asked sounding like a lil kid. Lina didn’t answer just dragged him out the room. In twos everyone left the room but Ray. “So you not gone say nothing to me?” “Why would you think that? Because you lied to me? And you know without a doubt you did? I asked if you had a kid and you said no.” “She not here Mila so I don’t constitute that as having a kid. I didn’t get to watch her be born somebody cut her out of her mother’s stomach. I only got to hold an unmoving head off her body. So no Mila I don’t constitute that as lying to you.-“ “Nobody told me my patient was awake.” My apparent doctor said coming into the room. Ray glanced at me then left the room. Whatever. After my doctor checked me over he said there was no reason I shouldn’t be able to go home tonight. So that’s exactly what I did. There was nothing wrong with me except a few cuts and bruises and I had been out for two days. Ray isn’t able to come home til the next day.