All I Want For Christmas Is You

“Don't you worry about that,” I spoke into the phone. “We will have your order in before the new year Mr. Carlson.” I scribbled absentmindedly down on the notepad in front of me as I spoke with my top client. “No, thank you. Yep, happy holidays sir.” I sighed as I hung up the phone and rolled my chair back to my computer. I pulled my glasses off their perch on top of my head before I began to type into my computer. I quickly wrapped a small strand of brown hair behind my ear as it fell into my face, blocking the view of my precious computer screen. The lights of the buildings turned out one by one as the snow fell down on the New York night.

I slightly pinched the bridge of my nose, as I always did when I was deep in thought over something. I was trying to figure out how to keep my ridiculous promise of getting a major order from China back to New York by the New Year. I worked in tech development for Cisco, which basically meant I ordered all of the supplies to make the cool things that Cisco makes become a reality. It wasn't an easy job and it consumed most of my life, but I was paid through the nose for doing it.

I reached over to take a sip of my coffee and grimaced when I realized that it was ice cold. I jumped slightly when my cell phone rang beside me. “Hello?” I asked as I opened the coffee cup lid to spit the awful substance in my mouth back into it.

“Jordan Kedarop.” I froze at my mother's disapproving tone, awaiting to hear what I had forgotten about this time. “Where are you?”

“At the office?” I more or less asked then stated. “Why?” I stood up to walk around the office to calm down the jitters I always seemed to get when talking to my mother. I rested my left hand on the giant glass window that consumed my office as I held the phone to my ear with the other. The snow reflected bright off my eyes, even though the sun had set many hours ago.

“On Christmas Eve?” I could almost picture her rolling her tongue over her teeth, like she had done since I was little when she was frustrated with me. I shrugged before realizing that she couldn't see me. “What time were you planning on leaving for the party? The roads are getting pretty bad out there.”

“Party?” I echoed her and she scoffed out a laugh. “Shoot the party,” I held the phone away from my mouth as I mumbled to myself. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.” I lightly patted the palm of my hand against my forehead as I quickly ran back to my computer.

“You forgot, didn't you.” She didn't seem to be asking me as I put her on speaker. “Jordan Ray, I knew that you would forget.”

“I did not forget mother,” I snapped as I squinted my eyes at my computer and began to shut it down. “I just had a couple of things I needed to finish. I'm on my way now.”

“It really shouldn't be a surprise, Jordan.” I rolled my eyes as my mother ignored me and continued to chide me. “You know that we have a party on Christmas Eve every single year.”

“Well it's easier to remember when you live at the house and have to help set up,” I mumbled to myself and I guessed that she didn't hear me by her lack or response. I threw my glasses in my purse and a couple of other essentials before locking up my office. “Alright, I'll be there soon.” I snapped my phone shut and threw it in my purse before slipping on my jacket. I crossed my arms in front of my chest to help block the bitter New York wind from coming up threw my coat. I jumped up and down impatiently as the cab that I had flagged down pulled up to the curb. I directed him to my mothers house and laid back as we drove off into the night.

* * *

“Stupid shoes,” I mumbled as I limped my way up to my mother's front porch. I could hardly walk in the ridiculously high heels without all of the ice that now consumed the sidewalk. Almost there, I thought. Then you can take the shoes off and end the torture. My frozen breath swirled around me as my breathing became heavier. I glanced over my mother's front yard, that looked exactly the same as the last Christmas. A giant Santa consumed most of the front yard while mechanical reindeer and blinking lights filled up the rest. I shivered, partially from the cold and partially from the inanimate objects creepiness. I was about to step on the front steps when I felt my legs slip from underneath me. I closed my eyes and let out a tiny shriek as I braced myself for the fall, but it never came as a pair of arms caught me.

“Clumsier then ever.” I heard a mumble behind me and brushed myself off before turning around.

“Excuse me? I don't think that-.” My breath caught in my throat as I turned around to see the all too familiar smirk that I had been missing. All of the things that I had been waiting to tell him ran through my mind as he ran his fingers through his blonde locks. All of the words that I had spent running through my head over and over until they sounded just right, and doing it again when I changed my mind. But all that escaped my lips was, “What are you doing here?”

“Merry Christmas to you too.” Patrick laughed slightly as he made a motion to move around me. I held out my arm in an attempt to stop him.

“I'm glad that you think this is funny.” I said sarcastically as he stopped again. His smirk lessened but still remained as I continued. “You haven't bothered to call in, how long?,” I interrupted myself. “And then you just waltz up here like nothing ever happened.”

He opened his mouth to respond but the light flooded over him from the doorway and he closed his lips. “Hey kids.” My mother smiled as she walked down the path towards me. “Jordan, I need your help with the snacks and our guest are getting a little antsy.” She pulled on my arm and towards the house. “So glad you could come Pat.”

“You invited him?” I hissed through my teeth as we reached the porch steps. She smiled and nodded, like there was nothing wrong with that. “Why?”

“Why not?” She shrugged as I furiously ran my tongue over my teeth. The warm air should have been comforting as she opened the front door, but it only made me angrier as I noticed Patrick following us inside. “You two used to be so close.”

“Yeah, used to being the key words there.” My mother plastered a smile on her face as she shoved me into the kitchen.

“Jordan Ray, that boy is a guest in our house.” Her smile dropped immediately as it became just the two of us. She started to take some ham and cheese out of the refrigerator to make some appetizers for our guest. I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter as I watched her cut up the food. “The least you could do is be nice.”

“Be nice?” I asked. She shot me a look from across the kitchen. I diverted my eyes to the eggnog scented candle as the flame flickered slightly. The laughter in the other room filled the awkward silence between us.

“Or at least be hospitable,” She decided after a moment. She grabbed her gingerbread oven mitt from the island in the middle of the kitchen and turned to get the turkey out of the oven. “The least you could do is give him another chance, Jord.” I sighed as she started to prepare more snacks. “When I talked to him on the phone, he really seemed willing to fix things between the two of you.”

I rolled my eyes and stood up in preparation to say something. She quickly threw the sandwich materials on a platter and shoved it into my hands before I could though.“But I-.”

“Go.” She turned me around and pushed me out of the kitchen door with the tray. I lost my balance from the surprise and felt myself starting to fall. Straight into someone. There was a loud clank as the plates, food, and me all came crashing down to the ground.

“Thanks mom,” I mumbled sarcastically. “I'm so sorry,” I spit out quickly to the victim of the mayonnaise that now ruined their suit.

“It's no problem.” Patrick's blue eyes looked up at me as he stood. I hastily grabbed the tray from him as he handed it up to me. “We both know you have a major hand-eye coordination problem.” He smirked slightly. I stared at him, letting my anger settle for a moment before turning into the crowd of people in my living room.

"Jordan!" Patrick called out, but I ignored both the feeling I got when he said my name and the fact that he was calling me as I forced my way into the living room.

“Jordan!” I heard my Uncle's voice as he grasped onto my hand. “How are you sweetie?”

“Great,” I mumbled as he pulled me into his chest. “How are you doing?” I stepped back a little as the smell of the cigarette he was smoking started to choke me.

“Been a good girl this year?” He winked down at me and ignored my attempt at being a good hostess as I smiled weakly. “Santa gonna bring you lots of presents?”

“You bet.” I laughed slightly as my eyes scanned the room, desperately searching for an escape from this conversation. I saw the kitchen door flap open as Patrick entered it. “I'll catch up with you later,” I walked away as I spoke quickly. “Mom needs some help with dessert.” He nodded before turning back to my cousin whom he was having a conversation with before I arrived.

“Oh good,” My mother said as though she was completely expecting me to come stumbling into the kitchen in my heels. I leaned against the counter to catch my balance before looking up at her. I noticed Patrick biting back a smile as my eyes roamed over him. “You can help Patrick with the salad.”

“Oh goody,” I mumbled sarcastically which earned me a look from my mother. I stopped for a second to slip off the heels and through them in the corner.

“Be nice,” she mouthed. I rolled my eyes and waved a hand in her direction to show her I understood, but I really didn't want to. There was a couple moments of awkward silence as I took my place next to Patrick and started ripping up piece of the lettuce head and tossing them in the bowl. I watched as he slowly pulled apart the pieces one by one. Very slowly. For some reason, this made me rip up my pieces of lettuce more aggressively. “Slow down a little Jord.”

Patrick let out a tiny chuckle which earned him a glare from me. I started going extra slow, to mock my mother, and placed the lettuce lightly in the bowl. Patrick did this at the exact same second which caused our hands to touch for a millisecond. I pulled mine back like he had burned me and he just continued on like nothing had happened. Like he hadn't just felt what I felt. My mother nodded her head in encouragement to me and I rolled my eyes before clearing my throat. “So I heard you won some trophy.”

He glanced up at me for a second, as if checking to make sure that I was talking to him. “Yeah, the Stanley Cup.” A small smirk played on his lips that I couldn't understand. But then again, it seemed that a smirk permanently played on his lips.

I shrugged as if those words didn't mean anything to me. As if I didn't know that was what he had wanted his entire life. As if I wasn't sitting on the couch, biting my nails during the game. “Cool.”

“Yep.” He popped his “p” on the end of the word and it seemed to echo through the empty kitchen. The radio played soft Christmas music in the background and I couldn't help but think how romantic this setting would have been. If I wasn't so mad at him that is. There was a long silence and my mother coughed several times to try and break it with no avail.

She slowly slid off her snowman cooking apron before placing her hands on her hips and turning to us. “I think I'm going to go start setting the table.”

“I'll come with you,” I said quickly as I made my way around the island.

“That's okay.” She held up her hand to stop me and I gave her a pained expression. She showed no sympathy as she explained, “There is more salad to be made.” With that, she left us alone in the kitchen.

“You can handle a little bit of salad by yourself, can't you Hockey Star?” I asked before pushing open the door.

“Jordan wait.” I paused in the doorway, my heart beat pounding in my ears.

“I'm done waiting for you Patrick,” I said bitterly but stayed in place.

“Can't we just talk?” He slowly made his way over to where I was frozen in the door frame. He walked slow and slightly crouched, as if afraid any sudden movement would scare me off.

“We're talking.” He shook his head and let out a small laugh.

“I knew you were going to say that.”

“So what do you want?” I snapped and the small smile that had formed on his lips quickly dropped. “A party?” His eyebrows crinkled as I became more and more upset. “You never called Patrick. Never.” His hands dropped slightly. My heart beat echoed loudly in my head as I gained the confidence to continue. “Even though we were over, you could have called.” I came back into the kitchen, mostly because I had been waiting for my chance to yell at him and didn't want anyone to hear and intervene. “We were best friends for ever. Did you really have to ruin that?”

“Would you relax?” He said calmly, which for some reason aggravated me more. “It's not like I cheated on you or left you for another woman or something like that. I left to go live out my dream.” His breathing became heavy, like this conversation was giving him a workout. “Is that so wrong?”

“I would have come with you, Patrick.” I locked my eyes in with his as he slowly walked over to me. “To Chicago,” I clarified. “I would have gone anywhere with you.” I looked away from him and suddenly wished I could take that confession back as he didn't say anything for awhile.

“I know, Jordie.” My heart pained as he used my old nickname. “But you had a life to live to.” Tears slowly formed in my eyes as he continued. “I didn't want to be the one holding you back.”

“I work for an international company, Patrick.” My voice grew louder as I turned to face him. “You really don't think that I could've got a job in downtown Chicago.”

“We were seventeen.” He lightly placed a hand on my arm and then increased the strength of his grip when I didn't pull back like he was expecting. “How was I supposed to know that was going to happen?” I bit my lip and let my eyes fall to his chest, just so that I didn't have to look into his eyes. “And if you would've come with me, who says you would have the same job?” I made a face, frustrated that he was actually making sense. “You might not have had the same opportunities and who knows what would have happened.”

“I know.” I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “I know Patrick, I just,” I lifted my gaze up to his again. “I just missed you.” I let out a sad laugh. “A lot.”

“Me too.” He smiled slightly. “I mean, I only hooked up with about half as many girls as I would have if you weren't on my mind.” He laughed when I slapped him hard in the chest. “I'm just kidding around.” He smiled as he looked down at me. "I really did miss you Jordan."

I accepted his hug when he pulled me in. “You could have at least told me you were coming,” I mumbled into his chest. “Because now I feel like a jerk for not getting you a present.”

His chest vibrated as he let out an any laugh. “That's okay.” He used his hand to lift my chin up so that I was looking up at him. “Because all I want for Christmas is you.” And with that he pushed his lips to mine and gave me all of the sparks that I had been missing since he was gone.