Muster Every Ounce of Confidence

A man who resembles Benji a great deal greets us when we step off the plane.

"Joel, this is Eliza. Eliza, this is my twin Joel."

Twins....

Joel extends a hand; I look at it for a minute before realizing he wants me to shake it. I quickly comply, slightly confused.

"She hasn't had much human contact." I follow them to baggage claim, and then still further to the car.

'Wounded' floats from the speakers and I sing along quietly.

"You like Good Charlotte?"

"Mainly that song."

"Cool. Ever been to a show?" I shake my head. "Why?"

"Didn't want to go."

"Oh....Why?"

"Uh....I'm not really into that type of music."

"What are you into?"

"ELO and Queen." I stare out the window as I answer. The remainder of the ride is silent.

"We're staying at Billy's house...." Joel and Benji smile. "Oh, and Hil is here for a few weeks." Benji's smile fades slightly.

Guess that's Joel's girlfriend

"Eliza, you'll probably have to share a room with my girlfriend. She's 19 so it won't be that much of a difference." I nod

We pull up to a large house.

That's it! I'm living in a shack when I'm old enough. My first house was huge, Tony's house is big and so is this one! I'm getting passed from rich person to rich person!

I get out after the twins. Benji takes my bag before I can grab it. I don't argue because he gives me 'the look'. Joel leads the way to the door and enters without knocking.

"Honey! I'm home!" 3 people and a dog come running into the foyer. "Whoa! What have you three been doing?"

"Eating sugar sandwiches."

"We had a contest."

"Chris won." A bald man with a rubber chicken in his hand starts doing the running man.

"Hil, I left you in charge for a reason."

"Joelie, Chris and Billy are very convincing."

"Hey! It was your idea!" The guy, I'm guessing to be Billy, protests Hil's comment. My attention is soon occupied by the boxer sniffling my hand. I sit on the floor and he lays in my lap.

I can relate

"Eliza, are you trying to steal my dog?" I shake my head and start rubbing his belly. "His name is Cashdogg." I whisper the name to myself.

"So.... what are we supposed to do with her?"

"Whatever we want."

Why are they talking about me like a science fair topic?

I continue to baby Cash. "Eliza, do you like board games?"

"Never played one."

"Cards?"

"Never played?"

"Video games?"

"Well, I suck at them, but Jere and Uncle Matt have been helping me learn. I like Madden." A grin spreads across Billy's face. He pulls me up and almost drags me to another room. We plop on the couch and he hand's me a controller.

"You know the buttons?"

"Yeah."

"Good." We play for an hour before I beat him. "You beat me!"

"Guess they haven't been letting me win."

"You beat me...." I shrug and lay down on the floor. Cash immediately puts his head on my stomach.

"What's with you and floors?"

"I feel safe down here."

"Eliza! You are stealing my dog." Benji walks up and stands over me. "I was petting him and then he just up and left me." I shrug as I scratch behind Cash's ears. "Pet stealer."

There's a knock on the door, which causes me to jump. Billy gets up to answer the door.

"Why so jumpy?" I don't answer because Billy comes back.

"BENJI!" Again, his expression changes from happy to slightly disappointed. He quickly regains his composure and hugs the petite woman with olive skin and silky black waist length hair.

Was he disappointed with himself or in her?

"Eliza, this is my girlfriend Marre (Mar-e); Marre, this is Eliza, Tony's cousin."

"Hello." I wave. "So, Benji, why didn't you call me when you landed?"

"Must have slipped my mind. Sorry babe."

He doesn't sound sorry.

"Its okay. Just don't let it happen again." She kisses his cheek.

She seems very nice. Why wouldn't he love her?

I continue to pet Cash as I lay on the floor. I watch everyone and begin to feel like an intruder on a close family. Making sure no on is watching, I slip out the back.

Woods for a backyard?

Cash follows me, and we walk the path into the woods. I call Tony.

"Hey dad."

"Hey babygirl. How is everything?"

"I feel like an intruder. I'd much rather be home with you."

"Hang in there. You just have to warm up to the guys."

"I guess. Tell everyone I said hey and I send my love."

"Alright, bye dearheart."

"Bye papa."

I sit on a mossy bit of ground and Cash lays across my lap. It begins to mist, although the sun is still shining and there are spots of light on the veiled forest floor. The ringing of my cell draws me from my daze.

"Eliza where are you?" Tony's voice is stern.

"In the woods behind Billy's house. Why?"

His voice is softer, "Benji called me to ask for your cell number. He said they hadn't seen you for almost four hours."

"Oh, well I've been back here the whole time."

"Alright."

"Tell them if they follow the path, I'm sitting just off it."

"OK. Bye dearheart."

"Bye papa."

I return to my musings, but am interrupted again when someone calls my name. Cash barks, sitting up only slightly.

Benji appears seconds later, "What are you doing out here?"

"Thinking."

"It's raining."

"Actually, it's misting, and it's peaceful."

"You're soaked! Come on." I move Cash and stand. "And you kidnapped my dog."

"1) He followed me. 2) Wouldn't it be dognapped?" He gives me a strange look but I just shrug it off and head back to Billy's. I stop at the back door, attempting to shed as much water as possible. Paul brings me a towel and I wrap myself in it. I strip away all the layers that are wet through and through, which leaves me in a towel.

"Eliza, you could have come inside before you did that."

"I did that once in my mother and father's house and they yelled at me for getting the floor wet." I find my bag and go into the bathroom.

Benji
"Do you think that's true?"

"Guys, they put her up for adoption like 5 months ago. I'd believe them capable of anything."

"They put her up for adoption?" I nod. "But she's 17. How can they...What kind of...."

"Don't think to hard on it."

"But how?" I shrug. Paul seems extremely put out by this and grows quiet. Eliza comes out with still wet hair. She starts to dry off Cash and clean his paws.

He won't even let Marre and Hil touch him.

I watch her tend Cash. When she's finished, they lay on the floor together as if in deep conversation.