Bulletproof

It had been a day since Nic died. The boys said nothing about being in a hurry to leave, so I assumed that they were giving me time to grieve. However, if they’d barely let me be alone before, then I was constantly watched afterward. It was usually Kindred, but after a little while they figured out that if I said anything to her, she’d say nothing about it to them. I spent a lot of time cleaning, cooking, and doing whatever else I could find to keep myself busy. Nic hadn’t wanted me to be sad, so I’d tried my best not to be. Needless to say, I kept myself up all night since I knew I’d never be able to get to sleep anyway.

“Harley,” Mikey (the guys’ chosen sacrifice- “She likes you the best!”) sighed, “you should get some sleep. You’re still healing up after your injuries.”

“I’m not tired,” I responded with the lie automatically. It had become my mantra as I worked through the night. I held my eyes open wider than was natural, probably looking to be constantly surprised or scared. I admitted to myself that I was tired, but I didn’t want to slow down and allow the situation to catch up with me.

“Harley,” he said again, voice going very soft, “I know what you’re doing. You need to rest. You can’t just outrun this forever.”

“I can,” I disagreed, “and I will. There are things around here that need doing, and Christian and Sasha are both…” I trailed off uncertainly.

“Grieving. Letting it out, like you should be doing. The restaurant’s not even going to be open for a few days, so whatever you think you need to do can wait. Please, Harley.”

I paused in the middle of scrubbing the floor (which was spotless thanks to my hard work, but it was roughly the spot where Nic was shot, so it still felt unclean), pushing my sweaty bangs away from my eyes with the back of one of my pruned hands. Leaning back so that I rested on my knees with my legs tucked under me, I looked up at Mikey. He looked as worried and tired as I felt. His blond hair, usually pushed back, fell in front of his face, hiding half of it from my sight. His normally vibrant and warm eyes looked dim. The worry line between his eyebrows made him look older than he was. I sighed and dropped the rag I’d been using into the bucket of dirty gray water before standing, drying my hands on the front of my jeans.

“Only for a couple of minutes,” I warned stubbornly. He nodded and looked relieved, the worry line lessening in severity. I made to walk up the stairs, but my constant motion and lack of rest made my battered body sore. I groaned pathetically, having only taken a step or two.

“I told you,” Mikey sighed, walking up behind me and urging me forward with a hand on my back. “It’s only going to get worse if you keep yourself stressed out.”

I grumbled under my breath at him as we slowly made our way up the stairs (which I’d also scrubbed clean- they were newer looking than they had been in years). He even opened the door at the top for me. What a gentleman. We walked inside, and my friends shot ‘inconspicuous’ glances my way. I grumbled a bit, trying to find somewhere where I could hide from their eyes. As it turned out, though, Mama Mikey made that easy.

“Could you guys possibly move downstairs? I finally managed to talk her into sleeping for a little while.”

I looked at him, frowning. “I said I’d rest. No one said anything about sleeping.”

He sighed and shook his head at me while everyone else filed out. Sasha stepped out of the line to give me a hug, which I returned half-heartedly. She’d been crying again. I supposed that the fact that she’d gone for a couple of years taking drugs that got rid of this kind of emotion didn’t help her any. I wanted to be strong enough for both of us. Strong and brave like Nic told me I was. Inside, I wanted to cry and break down. I wanted to cry and never stop crying.

However, in my head, I knew that I’d done enough crying recently. I’d broken down after getting rescued, and I’d broken down when we’d arrived at the restaurant yesterday. I wouldn’t get anything done if I sat and felt sorry for myself.

I didn’t notice that Sasha had already joined everyone else downstairs, nor the fact that Mikey had led me over to Christian’s bed. Nic’s was without a mattress (since it’d been far too damaged to even hope to clean), so it was the only available place to rest besides the couch. My legs hit the edge of the bed, and I just kind of fell into it, landing on my stomach. Turning my head to the side so that I wasn’t resting facedown on the bed, I looked at Mikey as he turned to walk to one of the couches. You’re pathetic, Harley. You’re a big girl. Don’t do it.

“Mikey,” I called in a whisper. He turned around quickly, raising his eyebrows in question. I drowned out my inner voice completely and swallowed my pride enough to ask my question. “Can you… sit with me?”

He looked a little stunned- hell, I felt a little stunned- and walked over slowly. Maybe it was because I was tired and I didn’t want to be alone. He’d only be right on the other side of the room, but that felt like a long way. I scooted over to make enough room for him to sit, but I didn’t switch my position. When I felt the bed sink next to me, I allowed my eyes to slip shut. Despite what I’d said, it really did feel like I was going to sleep whether I liked it or not. The drowsiness was getting stronger by the second, and I knew I’d be out any minute.

Or not.

I jolted up so suddenly that my back cracked and Mikey nearly had a heart attack. I scrambled around frantically, trying to find some paper and something to draw with.

“Harley, what the hell is going on?” he demanded after regaining his composure. I ignored him completely and dug through the drawer of the nightstand between the two beds, finding what I needed. I sat down right there on the floor, cross-legged, and began to draw. I made a quick sketch while the image was still fresh in my mind. Mikey hurled questions at me, but they went unanswered. I continued to draw until the rough sketch was done, and then I went on to add in the important (and very few) details that I could recall. Mikey eventually gave up trying to get me to tell him what I was doing, choosing instead to watch. I hardly noticed, adding every single detail that I could remember to my drawing. While I was no pro with drawing, I was fairly good, and the woman on my paper looked almost just like I’d remembered her. I spent a lot of time working on the shape of the eyes, since they were what I’d remembered first.

I frowned and chewed my lip harshly, causing it to bleed again. I’d managed to tear open the split, but I brushed it off continued to work. The two of us sat in fascinated silence, the only sound breaking it being the scratching of the pencil on the paper. When I’d exhausted my memory, I set the pencil down and looked at my work. Why did she look familiar? Back in the Drac fortress, I’d wondered the same thing. I was sure that I’d never seen her in my life, but somehow I felt like I’d seen her before. It was something to do with the eyes.

“Fuck,” I announced blandly, frowning at the paper.

“Who is that?” Mikey asked, frowning along with me. I shook my head.

“This was the woman that was there at the Drac fortress that you guys broke me out of,” I breathed, still staring at the penciled eyes. She stared back, teasingly. She knew that I was getting frustrated with her.

“No one else was there. We swept the whole building to be sure,” Mikey objected. I arched a brow.

“Not when you guys got there,” I corrected. “She was there a lot earlier, and then I think they must’ve moved her somewhere else. I only saw her for an hour, tops. They threw her in my room and we talked a little bit. She said they wanted to question her since she was involved with a Killjoy…”

It dawned on me that I had no idea how they’d even managed to break in so successfully in the first place. Too much had happened too fast for me to ask. I reminded myself that I’d have to ask later.

“So they’ve still got her somewhere,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I hope so. The alternative isn’t good. She didn’t look like she belonged in the Zones,” I replied, remembering her attire. It was fairly clean, if not a little torn and dusty. You don’t stay clean for more than a few hours out here.

“They brought someone from the city out here?” Mikey wondered aloud. I shrugged again and paid him little mind.

“I…” I yawned widely before I could think of anything to add. “I need some sleep.”

“Do you still want me to stay here with you?” he asked, and I nodded meekly back. Even through my sudden revelation, I still felt the creeping loneliness. I’d probably end up crying at some point, even if I fought it, but I didn’t want to be by myself. Something about Mikey was peaceful, and that was what I needed. He smiled gently, nodding. I laid back down on my back, hands out on either side of me. I let my eyes close, feeling his hand holding mine gently. “Right here, Harley. Just get some rest.”

I nodded sleepily before drifting off.

***

I woke up slowly, having slept uninterrupted. I didn’t even dream. Even without actually moving, I could tell that my body wasn’t nearly as sore as it had been before, and I didn’t feel quite as emotionally stressed. I yawned, popping my jaw, before opening my eyes. I was met with Mikey’s leg, since I’d apparently snuggled against him at some point while I slept. I scooted back, but I was much to groggy to be embarrassed about it. He had a tray of food in his lap, which he picked at with his long fingers. He glanced over at me when he noticed that I was moving around.

“Hi,” I grumbled sleepily. He gave me a smile in return, and I gestured at the food in his lap. “Whassat?”

“Sasha brought me something, since she was cooking downstairs and noticed that I hadn’t come down,” he explained. I slapped his hand away from the food, and he looked at me, confused and a little irritated. “What’re you doing?”

“Sasha doesn’t cook, and with very good reason,” I explained, wide-eyed. “How much have you eaten?”

“None. I was kind of not hungry, so I’ve just been… playing with it,” he admitted sheepishly. I snickered at him, causing him to roll his eyes at me.

“Aren’t you a little old to be playing with your food, Mikey?” I teased. He frowned at me, but there was something else behind his eyes. “What’s up?”

“You seem… really okay, considering what happened,” he replied, choosing his wording carefully. He still watched me closely. I gave a shrug, pretending like that hadn’t stung.

“Nic told me I shouldn’t be sad. He… he wasn’t scared. If he can face death without freaking out, then so can I,” I sighed, curling my knees to my chest. I wrapped my arms around them, resting my head down on them as well. He looked concerned, but he apparently had nothing to say to that. “Besides, it’ll do me no good if I dwell on it. I can’t bring him back by crying, you know? The best thing I can do is live for both of us. He wouldn’t want me to put my life on hold.”

He nodded, still looking at me. I shifted my gaze elsewhere, since I didn’t want to instigate some sort of soul-searching staring contest. Eventually, though, I remembered the drawing I’d sketched out before I fell asleep. I crawled over his legs and reached out to grab it from the nightstand, looking at it from all angles.

“So, you’ve got no idea who she is?” he asked, brows raised in confusion. I shook my head.

“No, but she looks really familiar. I know that I haven’t actually seen her before that time, though.”

“Actually, the more I look at her, the more familiar she looks to me, too,” he admitted, frown growing. It was my turn to look confused.

“How could she look familiar to both of us? I only met you guys a little while ago, and the only person I actually knew before that was…” I trailed off, my mouth falling open. “Oh, shit.”

“What?” he demanded immediately. I got up without another word, taking the drawing with me as I stumbled out of the room, heading for the stairs. I heard Mikey get up after me, setting his tray down before catching me about three stairs down. “What the hell, Harley!”

“Hold on,” I told him impatiently, lurching down the stairs unsteadily. He caught me when I almost fell, and I tossed a ‘thank you’ over my shoulder as he set me back upright. He shadowed me all the way into the dining area, where our friends were sitting. They all looked at me, but I only stared at Kindred. She looked back at me, confused about my intensity.

“Harley, how’re you doing?” she asked uncertainly, subconsciously touching her face to make sure there was nothing wrong with it. I held up the drawing to Mikey, who looked between it and her. His mouth dropped open like mine had.

“Oh, shit,” he echoed, and I nodded meekly.

“Yeah,” I agreed. If she was freaked out before, then she was positively losing it at that moment. We both gawked at her, and everyone else gawked at us.

“Okay, what in the hell are you two doing?” Sasha demanded after a second, frowning at us. After I kicked my brain into working order, I flipped the drawing around so they could all see it. Kindred’s strangled gasp was all the confirmation I needed.

“Holy shit, Harley,” she uttered severely, “where the hell did you get that?”

“I drew it,” I murmured back, still staring at her in horror. It did nothing for her shock, though, and she looked nothing short of irritated with me.

“Drew it?” she demanded, and I gave another meek nod. I forced myself to stop gaping at my best friend, elbowing Mikey so that he’d cut it out, too. He did, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Everyone else still looked a little confused, but they stayed silent and watched the three of us. “How in the fuck do you know what she looks like?”

“I met her. Kinda,” I offered, my brows knitting. I heaved a sigh. “She was in the fortress with me, only for a little while. I think she got moved before you guys showed up, though. She said they wanted her for questioning because she was ‘involved’ with a Killjoy. Did she mean you?”

“She had to,” she breathed, and it looked like her soul just up and left her body. She looked withered and confused, but mostly worried. My brave best friend, reduced to nearly nothing in seconds by a simple picture. “There’s no one else… it’s just me. They should be back in the city…”

I nodded, since that’s what I’d thought, too. That was what I’d last heard, at least.

“Look, we can’t do anything just yet. We have to get a firm hold of what’s going on, y’know? We can’t just rush out there blind,” I said in a hushed voice, thinking how hypocritical I must’ve sounded. It was always me that was rushing into things with no thought of how much danger I was putting myself in. She nodded, beyond caring about that at this point. She collapsed back in her seat from where she’d stood up, looking a little faint. I shoved the drawing into Mikey’s hands, making my way quickly over to her. I hugged her around the shoulders, combing my fingers through her hair.

“They have her,” she whispered. My fingers paused.

“Well, they might not… it’s been around a month, they could’ve let her go,” I reasoned, but she seemed to panic at that thought.

“She’s not fit for the Zones! They wouldn’t just… they wouldn’t just leave one of their own citizens out here, would they? That’s gotta be against some policy or another,” she babbled. I stroked her hair again, trying to calm her slightly.

“Hush,” I hummed back softly. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to figure out what’s going on, and we’re going to fix it. Are you listening to me?” I demanded when it looked like she wasn’t. She nodded back, still stunned. Finally, Gerard broke our little scene by asking what everyone else was wondering.

“Okay, not to interrupt or anything, but what’s going on? Who’s that lady?”

As Kindred didn’t look like she was going to be giving any sort of concrete answer any time soon, I did it for her. “That’s Kindred’s mom. She was what I was forgetting- I saw her one of the days that I was being held up by the Dracs. They brought her in, but took her away again fairly quickly after that. I thought she looked familiar,” I added the last bit as a mutter. A pregnant pause hung between all of us, no one quite knowing what to say.

“It’s just one fucking thing after another, isn’t it?” Frank eventually sighed, flicking his hair away from his face. He got up and walked over to us, putting a friendly hand on Kindred’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, kiddo. We’ll figure this out, and she’ll be just fine.”

She nodded back half-heartedly, looking for all the world like she wanted to believe that was true.