Chasing Imagination

Amy

I staggered, half-blind and completely disorientated through empty street after empty street. Every part of my body ached, and the cold that was ever-present in these dead hours bit at me, even through my jacket. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I could feel my hair, matted and dishevelled, a wild, curly bush around my pink face.

I could scarcely comprehend what was going on anymore. I had managed to stop being sick and pick myself up from on the floor of the little side road, and now I was just wandering, dazed and adrift, hoping that I came across the familiar subway entrance.

So many thoughts battled in my mind. There was Casper—where was he, and what would I do if he was in trouble? Then there were the Dreamers versus a normal life, and I really didn’t want to take the time to properly contemplate the pros and cons of each right now. Then there was the fact that I had shot three people. It was only a stun, but it, more than anything, sealed my fate.

I was one of them now—a criminal, a terrorist, a resistance member.

A Dreamer.

Only now did I realise why I never felt as if I quite belonged with the Dreamers. Now, that had all changed. I belonged with them far too much.

Because, like all the rest of them, I had fought violently with someone I would have once trusted.

All the Dreamers seemed to have killed someone, or at least been part of a fight with a pro-government civilian. And I hadn’t.

Up until now.

Now, I had shot a kind policeman; a man only doing his job and, quite honestly, trying to help me. If there was such thing as real evil within the hearts of any government supporter, it most certainly did not reside within that man.

I was a rebel now. There was no going back.

My eyes were puffy and I was choking up sobs by the time I came to the subway entrance that I had first followed Casper down just weeks ago—weeks that felt like lifetimes. I stumbled over every pavement crack and almost lost my balance as I teetered on the top step, but made it down unharmed. Well, physically unharmed. My mental world was a warzone, and emotionally I was a wreck.

I made my way somehow into the foyer, which was deserted at this zombie hour. Being back in Dreamer territory, however, somehow gave me a new lease of life. I staggered to the wall, sinking down against the cold, yellowing tiles until I was resting against them, my knees curled up to my chest. I broke out into hysterical, heartbreaking tears, crying into my hands, convulsing violently as I coughed up whimpers and called out Casper’s name despondently. I was nothing more than a wolf howling at the moon.

If I had been paying more attention to something other than my sorrow, I would have associated the tapping sound that started up with footsteps. As it was, I was too far gone to care—I barely even noticed them until I finally grew silent for a moment, my face buried in my hands.

‘Amy?’

I glanced up. Matt was standing there, towering above me, looking a little dazed like he should be asleep, his dark blond hair slightly dishevelled.

‘Matt?’ I mumbled, shivering uncontrollably.

He bent down to my level, his blue-green eyes mere inches from mine.

‘What’s wrong?’

Without waiting for an answer, he wrapped his large, warm arms around me, pulling me away from the cold wall so that I fell into him, clinging on like he was a raft in the ocean.

‘You’re cold,’ he said, placing the back of his hand against my cheek. ‘Come on, you need to get some rest. You look awful. What happened? Where have you been?’

I distantly heard more footsteps and looked up over Matt’s shoulder. I saw Jay emerging. Where he’d come from, I had no idea.

When we made eye contact, Matt turned to look at him.

‘What’s going on?’ Jay asked, also sounding a little dazed.

‘Go get help,’ Matt said, his voice urgent. Was I really in such a bad way? ‘Get Markus, Linzy...’ he trailed off, and Jay disappeared without a word. No comedic remarks; no witty insults. Just fear in his eyes.

‘Casper,’ I mumbled distantly.

‘I’m sure Jay will get Casper too,’ Matt said, his tone almost patronising. I was too confused to care.

‘No!’ I cried, unnecessarily vicious, pushing him away from me.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, his voice hushed.

‘Casper!’ I cried, seeming unable to say anything else. Why wouldn’t they understand? ‘He’s gone, Matt! He’s gone!’

‘Gone?’ Matt’s brow furrowed. ‘What do you mean gone?’

‘The police took him,’ I said, and more tears than I thought possible poured from my eyes. Of course this was where I belonged...if I didn’t want to be here, then why was I heartbroken over one of the boys that lived in this place?

‘Gone?’ Matt whispered. ‘No, he can’t be.’

‘He is!’ I cried dramatically, wrapping my arms around him again. ‘We were chased...and-and he stopped...I didn’t realise. And then he was gone! Oh God, Matt!’ I could barely breathe. This was impossible.

‘Amy!’ I heard a female voice from the other side of the room. I looked up to see Linzy running over, closely followed by Imogen. Both were wearing nightclothes. I vaguely remembered something about Linzy being a nurse, maybe that was why Matt specifically asked for her.

The small amount of space between me and Matt seemed to be suddenly obscured with Linzy. She was cupping my face in her hands and pressing fingers to my wrist as though I was medically ill. ‘What happened?’

‘What’s going on?’ This time it was Imogen’s voice. She was there, right behind Matt, her long curtain of brown hair blocking my view of the ceiling. I began to feel claustrophobic. All these people, kind and caring though they were, were suffocating me, and I couldn’t take it. I needed to be alone. I needed Casper.

I heard more footsteps and more voices as Matt continued to hug me and Linzy crouched beside me and Imogen stood over me with a hand on my shoulder. I distantly heard Jay’s voice again, and then something in an Irish accent; Felix was evidently here too. There were more as well, some which I didn’t recognise at all—who were they? Where were they all coming from? Was Markus there?

Suddenly, in one dramatic sweep, Imogen staggered sideways and Matt was practically pushed out of the way. There were shouts and sharp orders as the people clustering around me divided, and then, just like that, Matt’s figure was replaced with another’s.

My heart stopped.

‘Amy,’ he said.

Now I knew I was a Dreamer: I was having a dream. And not just any dream, but a dream so vivid that it felt real.

Casper.

‘Casper?’ I could barely even choke the word out.

All at once he was in front of me, bent down to my height, his blue eyes so close to mine. Matt was practically shoved out of the way, edging back wordlessly, in Casper’s desperation to get to me.

My heart was in overdrive. Hope somersaulted in my chest. But I couldn’t allow for that...this was a dream.

It was a good dream, though.

I wrapped my arms tightly round Casper. He held me close. He felt warm and smelt of fresh air. I could feel his hands gentle yet secure around my shoulders. Could one feel in dreams? Smell? Or was it all merely an illusion?

‘Casper,’ Matt’s voice sounded as shocked as I felt. Still neither of us let go of the other. I wanted to hold onto him forever. ‘Amy said you were taken.’

‘You were taken,’ I said in a whisper.

Casper began to smile, but this was no laughing matter. ‘I was never taken. Almost, but not quite. I just had to take slightly more drastic measures to ensure that you weren’t followed.’ His smile faded. ‘I sort of failed in that respect.’

He embraced me again, and finally Matt and Imogen and Linzy and Felix and Jay, helpful though they were trying to be, had the sense to move away to the other side of the room, and then into the tunnel beyond, deep in conversation.

‘I’m dreaming,’ I mumbled.

Despite everything, Casper laughed. ‘Dreaming? No, this is not a dream, Amy. Even Dreamers don’t dream like this. This is real.’

I almost believed him.

‘You look terrible,’ he whispered. ‘Come on.’

I let him lift me to my feet and, once standing, I fell into him again.

‘You need to get some sleep,’ he insisted.

‘No,’ I mumbled, too tired to cry out. ‘I don’t want you to leave.’

He sighed. ‘Come on. You need to rest. You’re blatantly exhausted.’

‘I’m not leaving you,’ I insisted stubbornly. ‘I’ve already lost you once tonight.’ As if to prove a point, I wrapped my arms around him again, enjoying nothing more than just the closeness, his scent, his heartbeat pounding through his t-shirt as it rested against my chest.

‘Ok, why don’t we see if Linzy will move out for the night then?’ Casper suggested. ‘If she’s alright with that, then I’ll sit with you.’

That sounded good enough. It was a compromise.