Chasing Imagination

Casper

Imogen hadn’t even shut the door before I saw the expression on her face and knew exactly what she had come to talk about.

‘Casper—‘ she began.

‘I’m not hearing it,’ I argued. ‘It’s Amy’s fault. She was pissed off with me. When I tried to send her signs, she took no notice. When I asked for her forgiveness, she didn’t comply.’

Imogen looked at me coldly. ‘I think you’ll find that it was you who walked out on her,’ she said. ‘And you didn’t ask her for anything. Maybe you sent her subliminal messages and all that crap, but you never met eye to eye and calmly asked for her forgiveness.’

I huffed resentfully. ‘So, what else has she been telling you about me?’

Imogen glared at me. ‘Nothing that I don’t need to know, actually.’ She was being unusually curt with me. God, the last thing I needed was to fall out with her too.

‘And what about Matt?’ I asked. ‘She’s been spending a lot of time with him recently.’

Imogen gave me an incredulous look. ‘What the fuck are you on about, Casper?’

She didn’t wait for an answer; she just left without another word.

I didn’t speak to Imogen once for the next three days. I didn’t speak to Matt either; not that I would have gone out of my way to do so otherwise. I saw him with Amy more and more often, though. Maybe she was just trying to spite me—that bitch! She knew what weapons she could use against me, and now it seemed like she was utilising all of them.

I wasn’t ready to forgive, but maybe I would have done if she didn’t start this. Now, the looks she gave me were almost smug—the looks of ‘I’ve got friends and you haven’t,’ and that was something I really couldn’t handle.

Three days after Imogen, it was Felix’s turn to fuck with me. Only, he wasn’t brave enough to come alone.

I was sitting on the bed reading at some stupidly late hour when he pushed open the door, Wolfie and Jay in tow. It was the middle of the night, but none of them seemed even remotely drunk, so I had no idea what they had been up to.

‘Hey man,’ he said cheerfully, shrugging off his hoodie and leaving it in a heap on the bed.

I gestured at the other two with my eyes. ‘You got a fanclub, Felix?’

He smirked. ‘Course I have. You ain’t noticed them before?’

I laughed slightly. Trust Felix. Nevertheless, a certain tension hung in the air. I could only pick it up once I focused a bit harder, but it was definitely there.

They all looked around at each other, wondering who was going to speak first. Eventually bold but slightly foolish Jay took the podium.

‘Look, man,’ he began, ‘we need to talk.’

I groaned. ‘Not you lot as well.’

‘Oi!’ said Felix. ‘You don’t even know what it’s about yet!’

I sighed, looking him straight in the eye. ‘Is it by any chance about a girl?’

They exchanged brief glances.

‘He knows,’ Wolfie confirmed.

‘What is this?’ I asked, now not sure whether I was being light-hearted or incredulous. ‘A fucking lynch mob?’

Felix raised his eyebrows in an attempt to look suspicious. ‘Not if you comply with us, it ain’t.’

‘Well,’ I said, folding my arms and leaning back, ‘what’ve you got to say?’

‘Talk to the girl,’ said Jay, always good at getting to the point. ‘Talk to her and resolve this damn argument.’

‘No,’ I said flatly.

‘Come on,’ Wolfie insisted. ‘Look, I’ve spoken to her, and she’s upset. If you just talk to her, she’ll be only too happy to forgive—‘

‘Who says this is about forgiveness?’ I demanded. ‘If she had come to me the day after the argument, I would have forgiven her. But it’s her fault. She started up the conflict and when I tried to hint at her, she didn’t buy it.’

‘It was two weeks ago,’ said Wolfie, shaking his head. ‘I didn’t know you could hold a grudge for that long.’

‘I’m not holding a grudge,’ I insisted. ‘If she comes and talks to me and apologises, I’ll be more than happy to reason with her.’

‘Are you a complete wimp?’ Felix asked in mock disgust.

Jay’s look, however, was anything but mocking. I knew what had happened to him in his life; I knew that, for him, bravery was everything. For him, courage was the best trait anyone could possibly possess.

‘Be the bigger man for once, Casper,’ he said in real disgust, practically spitting out my name. Without another word, he got up and walked out calmly; altogether something unusual for Jay. With an awkward glance Wolfie followed him out. After that, Felix pulled off his shirt, chucked it down the end of the bed and lay down without saying anything else.

***

Maybe what Jay had said had stirred something within me. Or maybe it was just fate bringing two people together. Either way, two days after my brief conversation with the guys, I was walking down the corridor towards my room. It was early evening, but I had no idea of the day of the week. Most of my friends were having a meeting with Markus, so I was pretty much on my own for the evening. When I turned the final corner, only a few doors away, I quite literally walked straight into Amy.