Forever

Forever" – that's what he said when he kissed me for the first time

"It's over" – that's what he said the last time I saw him.

I've been sitting here since then, when he said it was over my world just crumbled and I couldn't move. I just stood there and watch him walk out the door.

I remember the first time we met.

I stalked him in school, I just thought he was the most amazing human being in the whole world, so I dragged my friends with me and we literally stalked him every day through middle school.

When we got to high-school, it was the opposite, we were in the same classes and after a while I realized that he was the one stalking me, I started giving him signs, so he knew I was interested in him, and after messages sent through his friends we finally went on our first date.

I remember it being very weird at first, because he was nervous, but I was even more nervous, and neither of us knew what to say.

He took me to a beautiful park that day, I remember it being spring because there were flowers everywhere and there were birds singing. I don't remember us talking that much, but I do remember him singing, he had a beautiful voice back then, as it is now.

Even more beautiful if I may say.

"If you could read my mind then all your doubts would be left behind and every little thing would be falling into place" – he sang

I just smiled, while looking at those shiny green eyes and that contagious smile. All the awkwardness seemed to have disappeared when he picked up that guitar, and we were just two teenagers falling slowly for each other.

I didn't let him kiss me, when he took me home that day. I liked him… a lot! But I was a bit scared of getting in a relationship, I was only 13 and having a boyfriend was more than I could handle.

Later on, when we started dating he told me that he had overheard my friends talking about how I was in love with him, just didn't had the courage to admit it. I never knew about those conversations, not until he told me about them, if I did I'd probably say that they were totally right.

He kept inviting me on dates, to the cinema, to the carnival, we went always as friends, sometimes we took the whole gang, and sometimes it was just us. I preferred when we were alone, he smiled more. For some reason I always loved his smile, it made me feel like everything was good, and everything was perfect.

I remember we were like this for almost a year, I liked him, a lot. And he liked me back, so looking back at it now, I can't seem to find a reason why we waited so long to become "official".

Then we did, finally. He walked up to me, on a normal day, I remember as if it was today. I was at school finishing a project and he came to me and said "I love you, Melody". I remember start shacking, I'm always shaking when he says my name, but he said he loved me.

Only then I realized that I truly loved him too, and what the hell was I afraid of?

I smiled at him and told him "I love you too". He gave me an even bigger smile and kissed me.

Our first kiss, my first kiss. He was my first love, my first best friend, my first kiss, my first time.. He was my first everything.

"Forever" he looked me in the eyes and pulled me close to him. I can sense his arms around me just now, as I did that day. They felt warm and safe. "I'll be with you, forever"

"You know, I'm about to give you my heart, but remember this one thing… I've never been in love before so you got to go easy on me" I said while blushing at the same time.

I only remember him replying "One day, I'll write a song for you, about this moment, with those exact words". And then he kissed me again.

We were together for 5 years, each year was better than the one before.

We graduated and he moved to Los Angeles so he could become a successful actor and singer. He did it, he starts in a show on Nick, and he's got an album coming up very soon with his 4 best friends.

But the fame didn't change him; he was still the same boy I met in school, the same green eyes full of dreams, the same blonde hair that I just love to mess up, the same beautiful voice which sang to me every day for the last 4 years, the same Kendall.

Kendall, the boy I love, the boy I've always loved, and the boy who loved me up until yesterday.

When he came to me and said"it's over". Simply put, no explanations, just a cold "I'm sorry".

"I thought you said forever" it was the only thing I could say to him, then I just shut up so I didn't burst into tears right there. The official excuse was that he didn't love me anymore, but I know better, I know him better. I know that a love like ours doesn't just disappear.

But he said "don't look for me anymore. Don't call me anymore. Just forget that I exist".

I moved to L.A. to be with him, we had plans, we had dreams. And it all came crashing down with 2 simple words: "it's over".

They just keep echoing in my head, I felt empty, my heart was empty, and my head was empty.

When he left he took all my life with him, every bone in my body was hurting. Just breathing was a fight with myself. I didn't want to get up and face the world. I felt safe enough there, in my room. That's when I looked to the wall in front of me.

His handwriting.

"Yes I may meet a million pretty girls that know my name, but don't you worry because you have my heart".

It was from one of his lyrics, he wrote that on my bedroom wall a couple of weeks ago.

we had woken up together that day and he left to get breakfast but return with a can of balck paint and a brush. He wrote those words because he was leaving on tour soon.

Those words broke what was left of my fragile heart.

I decided to get up, looking at that was too sad and suddenly my head started to hurt, it felt like bombs were going off in there.

I went outside, it was still night in town. No idea what time it was, maybe 2 or 3 a.m.

I started walking to the beach, it wasn't far. I got there and I just lay on the sand. I used to do this with Kendall all the time since we moved to L.A., now I was all by myself.

I was losing my mind, my head started spinning and for the first time in the last day I cried. I cried my heart out. I cried until I completely dry inside.

I cried until morning.

It was time to move on. Get up, see him in magazines, see him in TV, hear his voice on the radio and dream about him. Every day, every night. He's going to be with me forever. Forever, like he promised me.

Forever.