Faith Is Unavailable

Suspect 12 was leaving the Standard Services Department building and heading to the parking garage when out from between two cars stepped Viktoria. Twelve rolled her eyes and started to tug on her gloves.

“What do you want?” Twelve asked picking up her helmet and tucking it under her arm.

“I just needed a chance to talk to you.”

“About what? I’ve been working all day and you couldn’t come see me in my office?”

“This is not office talk and you have not been in your office all day even if I did want to find you there. I did try but as you can guess I found that you were scheduled for meetings all over town today.”

“So what is it?” Twelve sighed getting bored.

“You make my father happy.” Viktoria began. “I like that he is happy. No one has seen him smile since Sands left. Not a real and genuine smile that is.”

“What is your point, Drac Wrangler? Or should I be leaving now before you shoot me again?”

“I am trying to be nice to you here. I would appreciate it if you would do the same to me.”

“Just get this over with. If you keep me here any longer I will be late getting home and that won’t help your father’s happiness.”

“Fine,” Viktoria said gritting her teeth, “this may be harder to do than I originally thought but I want to offer you a truce. We need to get along for the sake of my father. For the sake of his health.”

Twelve tilted her head to the side trying to understand. She had no idea what Viktoria meant. She knew about the Zone Sickness but that was entirely manageable with the medication he was taking.

“It is not surprising that he has not told you as he has not told me. It is surprising the kind of information you can get out of people when you have such charms as I have.”

“What do you know that I don’t?”

“My father is very sick. He has cancer. Two kinds but one was removed.”

“He has Zone Sickness.” Twelve said shifting her weight to the other leg and tucking her helmet under her other arm.

“No, I have his medical records and they say he has Leukemia and had Thyroid Cancer. It also says he has less than a year left to live.” Viktoria sighed handing over the files to Twelve.

Tears sprang to Suspect 12’s eyes when she read the file. She knew this was real because it all fit. There wasn’t any other explanation for his symptoms.

“I need you to tell me how bad he is.” Viktoria said starting to choke up a bit.

This was the first time that Twelve had seen any real emotion from the ice queen.

“He was throwing up this morning and I think there was blood in it. He didn’t let me in the bathroom with him.”

Viktoria nodded and looked away as she wiped under her eye.

“Take care of him. I know you are not going anywhere so please take care of him. He loves you very much.”

“Thank you Tori.” Twelve said handing the file back and putting on her helmet.

“If you can talk to him about it, be careful. He does not know that I know. He will be upset that I went behind his back to get these records.”

“I will not mention your name.” Twelve said mounting her bike and kicking the engine over.

In a manner that was not usual for Twelve she left quite slowly taking the time to wait for the gate in the parking garage to open for her. Normally she just slid under the gate sideways -it took her a few tries before she could do it without falling over- and speed down the tunnel that led to the surface.

She even took her time driving to the home that she and Korse now shared. Her mind was reeling from the knowledge that he was dying and it was coming in a matter of months. She didn’t think this would happen after she had gotten everything she had wanted.

It only took her six minutes to make it to her home. She put the bike down the side of the house and went in through the side door. In the garage was the 1979 Firebird Trans-Am that the Killjoys had been driving around in and next to it was the black 1971 De Tomaso Pantera with the BLI smiley face on the side. It was in the same place it had been this morning when she left and the hood was cool to the touch so she knew that Korse had not been out all day. That worried her.

When she walked in the lights in the living room and kitchen were on but Korse wasn’t in either. She went up the stairs to look for him and saw that none of the lights were on. When she entered the bedroom she saw that he was in bed asleep. She smiled to herself glad that he had at least taken a day off.

Korse opened his eyes when Twelve kissed his forehead. He reached up to grab her shoulder.

“Hey.” Twelve smiled sitting on the bed. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Better now that you are here.” He smiled taking her hand in his.

“Did you get out of bed at all today?”

“I just got up here. I was downstairs.”

“That would explain the lights in the kitchen.”

“Sorry.” He shrugged.

“Don’t be, Babe. I’m gunna get something to eat. You feel like anythin’?”

“You are sounding like a rat again.” Korse smiled.

“Thought you enjoyed that.”

“I do.”

“So I take it you don’t want anything?”

“I am fine. Go take care of yourself.”

“Just yell if you need me.” Twelve said standing up and walking out of the bedroom.

She went downstairs and tried to think of a way to bring up what was weighing on her mind. She didn’t even notice it but by the time she looked down she saw she had made a sandwich and one for Korse too. She laughed and put one in the fridge knowing he wouldn’t eat it even if she brought it to him.

It was simple enough for her to forget what she was doing and started to eat while just standing there thinking. She heard a noise to her left and turned to see Korse standing there in a bathrobe. She smiled at the sight but he looked worried.

“What?” Twelve asked and then realized just what was wrong.

Her voice was all twisted up and she felt a knot in her throat. She had been crying and he had come down to check on her. She wiped at her face and saw the make up on her fingers. Twelve looked away form Korse and bit her lip. She was going to have to explain now.

Korse pulled her into a hug and she wrapped her arms around him.

“I should have told you.” He sighed as he rubbed her back trying to soothe her.

“How did you know that was what I was upset about?”

“I just knew. I knew from the second you kissed me.” He kissed the side of her head. “I am sorry Rachel.”

She backed up and put her hands on the sides of his face. Korse tightened his arms around her waist and looked into her eyes. Twelve just stared at him and tried to stop crying.

“Do not be upset about this. It was my own stupid fault. I did this to myself.”

“How could you have given yourself cancer?” Twelve sobbed. “You couldn’t have caused this. It’s a wonder we all don’t have cancer!”

“Twelve, I caused this more or less. When my wife had cancer I went a little overboard on the radiation and was not as careful as I should have been. I just wanted to save her.” Korse said as he started to tear up. “I gave myself Radiation Sickness in a mild amount and I did not take the medication all the time. Then the wars happened and I was radiated more.

“About a year ago I was told I had about two years left. I have done what I can with transfusions and chemotherapy but not regularly enough because I thought I could use myself as a reason to keep the citizens here and not run off into the Zones. As if the pills were not enough.”

“Why didn’t you take care of yourself?” Twelve asked stroking Korse’s cheek. “You’d’ve been alright.”

“No, it would not have changed anything. The Leukemia was too far advanced. It has spread throughout my bones and the end is coming.”

“I don’t wanna believe it.” Twelve started to cry again. “I can’t lose you.”

“I don’t want to lose you either, but this is what has to happen.”

“But Babe...” Twelve said as a sob shook her frame.

“I love you more than you know.” Korse said kissing Twelve. “But you have to be strong.”

“How can I? Why didn’t you tell me instead of blindsiding me when you’ve got only a few months left?”

“Because I did not want to admit it myself. I thought I was infallible. I thought I could cure myself. I have spent countless hours in my lab trying to cure myself and I have probably only made myself worse.”

“How long?” Twelve asked the one question she wasn’t even sure she wanted to know the answer to.

“Five months at the most, three at the least.” He whispered.

Twelve closed her eyes to hold back a new rush of tears. She braced herself against the counter when she felt her knees get weak. Korse let her move away from him but he still stood close in case she fell. Twelve leaned over the counter and put her head in her hands. He knew this reaction well because he had a similar one when he found out about his late wife.

“You need to talk to Viktoria. She knows too. She at least deserves the same explanation I got as to why this is happening.”

“I promise you I will but tonight I am taking care of you. Finish eating.”

“I’m not hungry anymore.” Twelve said pushing the sandwich away.

“Then let us go to bed.” He said taking her hand and making her follow him. “We can talk there more comfortably.”

“Anything to make you more comfortable.” Twelve said wiping at her eyes with her free hand.

Korse stopped her at the foot of the stairs. She looked at him confused as to why they had stopped but her pulled her into a kiss that caught her off guard. She pulled him closer and he held on as tightly as he could ignoring the pain. This was the most important thing to him.

That kiss was one of those heart stopping kisses that froze time. Twelve felt her knees go weak for the second time that night but for a very different reason. Korse was happy to find he was still able to support her weight when she couldn’t.

When he pulled back Twelve’s eyes were still closed. Her lips turned up in a smile that was very feint.

“Twelve,” Korse said, his voice low, “you still mean the world to me.”

“You didn’t have to prove that. I know.” She said resting her forehead against his.

“I just wanted to make sure.”

“Then just so you know, I love you more than anything in this world.” She said. “And I’m going to miss you when you’re gone.”

“Do not talk about that right now.”

“That’s what we’re going to go upstairs to talk about though.” Twelve said climbing the first step on the staircase.

“True.” He said following her up to their room.