Friction

Well, the next morning wasn't weird at all. In fact, it had almost felt like... nothing had ever happened.
Giovanni trudged down the stairs like a zombie and plopped down onto a wooden stool by his counter. I walked around the counter, to the fridge, and pulled out the milk while Giovanni stretched up to grab the cereal out of the cupboard over head.
It was quiet for a minute while we poured our cereal, but it wasn't like that was anything out of the ordinary. I mean, we were both tired and it was early int he morning, even if nothing had ever happened the night before, we'd still be like this.
Nothing was different, I didn't understand. Giovanni wasn't keeping his distance or turning away from me at all- well, that was until we both reached for the milk cap at the same time and our hands touched.
Giovanni's hand sprang back as fast as possible and he looked stunned for just a moment before calming down. He took a small breath and looked up with a reassuring smile.
"Hey, uhh- you never came back upstairs last night, huh?"
"I kept my eyed fixed on one of the tiles on the floor and answered, "No, sorry."
Why was I the one to make everything awkward and not HIM?
"Well.... why not? I told you that you could have slept on the floor, still. No big deal."
"Yeah, but.. you don't think anything would have been awkward... at all?"
He looked up at the ceiling and went deep into thought. Finally, he looked me right in the eyes and said, "Nope!"
He smiled and looked down at his spoon, continuing to eat.
I could have only imagined the puzzled look on my face.
"You mean, you're perfectly cool with everything?"
"Yeah, sure, why not? No big deal, right?"
I rested my elbows on the counter and leaned in towards him over the cereal bowls with a giant smile on my face.
I said, "I can't believe you're okay with this!" Then I pressed my lips to his.
Immediately, without kissing me back this time, he slammed his palms against my chest and pushed me, along with the bowls, down onto the floor.
"What the hell, Giovanni!"
"What do you mean what the hell? Why would you kiss me... again!?!"
"Because you said you didn't mind. You JUST said that it was no big deal!"
"Yeah, no big deal that it happened ONCE. Once when we were both tired. I meant that we could just forget about it and pretend nothing ever happened!"
I stopped. I felt like I couldn't breathe. My voice got quieter and quieter and I spoke slowly as I got up and walked over to him.
"Giovanni, I don't want that. I don't want to deal with this fucking one sided love thing anymore."
"LOVE!?"
"Giovanni, I love you. I've been in love with you for three fucking years. I've had the right mind not to ever touch you before, but now that it's happened, now that you know, I can't just let you completely ignore it!"
Gi has never been the type of guy to fight back. He would never hurt anyone. At that moment, when he was pushing me and yelling, I felt like I had no idea who he was. I didn't recognize him at all, but I could see his soft side was starting to come out as usual. his voice grew softer and his eyes weaker. He reached his arm around to the back of his head and he looked at the floor, almost embarrassed.
"You're in love with me?"
"Y-yeah... I'm so sorry Gi, I never meant to mess thing sup so badly!" I ran over and grabbed his arm. To my surprise, he put his hand over mine, the sudden contact made me jump.
"No, I'm sorry."
He stayed silent for a moment before I put my other arm around him, sliding it down to the small of his back.
I knew it- I was perfectly aware of the fact that he was most vulnerable right now. I knew he would never have found it in his heart to shove me away a third time. I took advantage of it.
I intertwined my fingers with his and moved in closer to him, leaning in for a kiss.
His eyes grew wider and he looked into mine as they closed while my lips touched his.
He didn't put much effort into it, but he was kissing me back, I could feel it.
I decided to take things slowly. I didn't open my mouth or feel him up. I just stood in one spot and let him get used to the lack of space between us, the heat building, and my arms pressed against his body.
Then he finally nudged e away and sighed, "Marcc, please, I can't do this."
My shoulders dropped and I could feel my heart sinking, but what more could I have done? I've been in this made up relationship with him in my mind for three years, but he's only known about it for three minutes. I couldn't expect any more from him. The very fact that he was still in the same room as me was incredible.
I stayed silent.
"Marcc, I love you, as a friend. You're my best friend in the world and I can't imagine ever not having you, but it's not like that. I'm not gay. I don't like men, I like Alesia."
"I know, of course I know that. I'm so sorry. Fuck this is so bad."
"It's not.. bad.. I don't know. I didn't even know you were.. like that."
"I don't really know.. I've never really thought about anyone besides you before, so I don't know."
Giovanni's phone kept vibrating and lighting up in the corner of my eye. I knew Giovanni could see it, too, but he was being polite and ignoring it. It vibrated once more and the very sound pulsed through my body, so I glanced over- they were texts from Alesia. I shut my eyes and felt even more humiliation. Why did I do this? How could I have let this happen?
Giovani was staring at the ground. I hadn't even realized how long we had both been silent until now. It was probably the longest silence we've ever had.
"I can go home now." I choked on my words.
Giovanni's first reaction to something like that would have always been "no need, everything is okay, stay," but for the first time he stayed silent. He just remained staring at the floor and nodded in agreement.
I didn't even bother going upstairs to change or get my things. I slid on my shoes that were next to the front door and simply walked out.