The Road.

To be honest, I don't think things between Alex and myself would ever be the same. What he did hurt me and there's no way I could ever recover from that pain, we can be "friends" but we wouldn't be best friends like we used to. Even though there are two special people that keeps us close, I don't think it will ever be the same. Even if we tried so hard to put that part of my heart back together, there will always be a piece missing.

--

After my sister left the hospital with Alex, she spent a couple of weeks in bed resting trying to get better in that time I talked to her and I told her that I forgave her. They both broke my heart, I found it so difficult to get over the situation but I did. It wasn't going to be the same nothing was going to be the way it was before any of this happened, I can call Alex and spill my feelings to him not like we used to.

--

We all spent time together the twins, Jack, Alex, Meghan and me we all sat around and talked and watched my kids run around the house. It was nice, I was happy that everything was patched up and we were starting to become friends again, but that's all it was going to be. Friends. My sister and I would be close and I'll be able to tell her some things but we we're never as close as Alex and I were and I felt like I had no one to really talk to. I had to make some new friends. Six months after Meghan's release from the hospital, I was introduced to the modelling world and I was such a huge hit. I was happy, I had my career going and I had a family that I've always wanted and a dedicated fiancée.

My girls were so big they were almost two years old and we were planning their second birthday. I was sitting in the couch trying to figure out what we were going to do since the guys were going to be on tour. The girls were running around with Jack and Alex was talking to my sister. I sighed in frustration and closed the laptop.

A few moments later Alex was sitting next to me and put his hand on mine, I quickly took mine away. It wasn't that I didn't want him to touch me, it just felt so weird. He looked at me and gave me a weak smiled, "tell me what's bothering you" he whispered.

I simply shook my head, "no... why would there be anything wrong?"

Alex looked at me, "you say we're friends and I believe you but, I don't feel as close to you at least not how we were before... any of this happened. I understand that you've been hurt, believe me I know it killed me to hurt you"

I sighed and looked at him with these sad eyes, "then why did you do it?" I gulped, "was I not good enough or something? I really did love you Alex more than anything.."

Alex rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't know why I did it, I know that's not a good reason there's never a good reason for infidelity. I knew I loved your sister from the moment I met her"

I felt a pang of pain because that meant he never loved me, and it's like Johnny Depp said If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

I had always been the 'best' friend, one of the 'guys' I was never the one a guy would fall for. I know that Jack loves me and I love him but it took me awhile to get there, because I always loved Alex.

"Aria.. I'm really sorry. I know I hurt you so much" he took my hands and squeezed them gently. "our relationship was special to me, I want you to know that, you'll always have a special place in my heart"

I know that I'm engaged to a wonderful person and that I'm so lucky to have him and that I love him too, but I was still hurting. It's hard getting over someone you've loved since your pre-pubescent years.

I simply nodded my head, "yeah. Thanks."

He smiled, "I hope that maybe someday we can have that relationship again, best friends and be like that again, I really miss my best friend"

I looked out the window, Meghan, Jack and the twins were outside playing, I smiled a little and wiped my tears away before turning to Alex. "Let's be honest Alex, we will never have that relationship again, we'll never be as close as we used to and it's not just because of what happened or that we have two amazing children, but because you have a new best friend. Which I'm totally cool with I really am."

He looked at me and handed me some tissue, I wiped my tears, "I thought maybe we can work something out. I just want it to feel normal"

I sighed, "that's just it Alex, it's not normal. That's why we can't be in that friendship that you want back. It's gone. We can't rebuild that, we're friends that's what matters"

Alex nodded, "I still want to keep trying, is that okay?"

He was so persistent it was annoying at times, "whatever you want Alex, but honestly I wouldn't waste my time. I don't want to sound mean, I like you Alex, but those memories are in the past now, let's look forward" I got up, "I'm going to try and bake something"

I wanted that friendship back too, but it wouldn't be the same, it was so damaged that you couldn't rebuild it. All you can do is start a new slate and that takes time after something like infidelity has happened.

I was in the kitchen grabbing some flour, sugar and other ingredients to make cookies and started to prep. Alex walked over and sat on a stool and just watched me, I could feel him watch me.

"Did you... replace me or something?" he asked, a little sad.

I looked up, "no, I just think that you just left the friendship pretty damaged and we're starting on a new slate. Everything still feels new to me Alex, it takes time to build a really great friendship like the one we had and I just don't want to get hurt again"

I finished mixing everything and started putting the cookie dough into balls in the cookie sheet.

"I know it takes time but couldn't we just.. --I don't know" he sighed, "It feels kind of awkward being around you I just don't want that between us because I miss having you around, believe it or not."

I shot him a weak smile, "I know, I want that back too, but I don't want to jump in and get hurt again. I know it's not a 'relationship' like you and my sister have or like Jack and I have I just need time"

He nodded, "okay I understand, I still have hope though. I'll just drop the subject now, so the birthday party is when?"

I looked at Alex and nodded, "thank you. Um, two weeks is that okay with you? I have to go to a shoot next week and won't be here"

I had made some new friends on the photoshoots and I became really close with a couple of guys that I worked with and some girls too. It was different because with this one I obviously didn't fall in love I was very happy with Jack and we were getting married a week after the twins birthday party. I had to call my friends to invite them.

"Johnny, Johnny!" I giggled into the phone, "so nice to hear from you, yeah, I know I miss you too yeah, I'll be up there in a few days for shoot, then I have to come back here for my babies birthday and finish planning Jack and my wedding, I know it's so exciting!"

I was happy, I wasn't going to deny that; I had finally gotten over the fact that my ex-best friend and boyfriend cheated on me with my twin. I forgave them both and we're all friends. I had new friends who I considered my family and I had a career and a beautiful family.