The Center

I've got to admit, I'm a little nervous. And it’s not like I'm playing a gig or anything, but seeing twenty-something expectant faces gazing up at me didn’t quite help. It’s Friday during Music hour and it just happens to be my turn to share my guitar skills. I usually tried to play every night to unwind, so the possibility of being rusty isn’t a problem. And, I know the kids would enjoy the show no matter what, so that wasn’t a problem either. I just… I didn’t really like singing. I've been in bands before, and as a lead singer, and they’d turned out all right, but my voice sounded so whiney. And nasally. I honestly didn’t think I sounded good in the least. But, hey, y’gotta do what y’gotta do, right?

I'd pulled over a grown-up chair for myself to sit on and I settled in, guitar resting on my lap while I tuned it. I had a difficult time picking out a song selection to play. I didn’t want anything too lame like ‘Farmer in the Dell’ or ‘Old McDonald’, but it had to be appropriate and kid friendly. It wasn’t anything to lose sleep over, but putting a good show on was always a plus, so I figured I'd do some good old fashioned Beatles music. I asked mom if she thought it would be all right and she didn’t see any problems with it, so I was in the clear. The plan is to play one or two songs, take any requests if I could, answer any questions they had and then let them come over and possibly gently pull a few strings, touch the base maybe. It didn’t seem like it would take very long at all, but when you’re dealing with Toddlers then it would be! Everything needs to be somewhat structured and planned. Taking your time is key. That, and patience.

Here Comes The Sun is my first choice. Nothing too deep, but nothing too cheesy, either. The staff can appreciate it just as much as the kids, too. I cleared my throat and looked around the room to see if everyone was ready for me. A few workers looked a little drained, and some kids seemed to still have sleepies in their eyes. A few were actually eager, wiggling in their seats, and as expected, Sebastian had his blanket to his nose. Unnecessarily, my heart raced a little. Here goes nothing.

“Hello, everyone. Today I'm going to play a Beatles song. I hope you like it!” I choked out, hopefully. I positioned my instrument and my fingers were ready to go before my mind was. Thank god for intros, right? But as soon as I started singing, I felt better. None of the kids clapped their hands over their ears and no one’s face scrunched in disgust. I must have had a better voice than I thought. That, or everyone was being incredibly nice to me. A smile appeared on my face and in my voice. I took my time instead of rushing to finish. The song it’s self is only a little over three minutes, but when I was finished it had been about four. A round of applause met my ears and I felt satisfied that I'd lived.

“Does anyone know what that song is called?” I asked, pretty sure no one in the four and under category knew at all. “No cheating, either!” I laughed when I saw Seth try to go whisper it into one of the little one’s ears. But when no one raised their hands after a minute or so I decided to give in. “It’s called ‘Here Comes The Sun’. Wasn’t it pretty?” I asked, leaning over my guitar now. Most of the little girls nodded, and I even caught some of the boys nodding too, including Sebastian. I smiled and tried to shake the hair that had fallen in front of my eyes away from my face.

“Would you like to hear another?” I asked, knowing I had plenty of time to kill. Jessica, one of my co-workers, pretended to yawn, and Abbey buried her head in her hands. I hoped they were only joking. The other staff members looked indifferent, and Cora threw me a supportive smile, so I figured it was okay to go on. Some children nodded, and some had their heads resting in their hands, elbows up looking patient, while others’ chins were lying on the cold plastic table about to fall asleep any second. I was ready to play ‘Come Together’ when a boy’s hand shot up, almost as if he were making a last minute decision.

“Yes Tyler?” I asked, leaning farther over my guitar.

“Mistah Fankie, cou’you play Power Rangersh?” he asked at an extremely fast pace. If I hadn’t been here for two weeks then I would have looked at this kid with one eyebrow raised, not sure what the hell he just blurted out. Luckily I'd gotten used to his Flash-like tendencies and was able to understand him.

“The Power Rangers song? Sure, I can play that! You guys want to hear some Power Rangers?” I asked, looking over the now more alert and excited population of boys in the room. Half of the girls looked curious while the other half switched over to looking bored. Getting the nod of approval from Seth, I set away on the intense solo and worked my Pansy until I felt like my fingers were going to fall off. Go, go Power Rangers. I received a much better, more enthusiastic response after ending that song. Over all, a success! With choruses of “Yay!”, “Again!”, “More, more!”, and “Frankie, how’d you do that?!” I pretty much felt like a super hero for the rest of the day.

During pick up time, though, I felt drained and exhausted. As employed staff, we’re all required to stay and wait until every single child is picked up in our department by someone on their contact list. For safety reasons, if a parent or guardian doesn’t put someone on their child’s list, then they aren’t allowed to go home with that person, unless my mom had been previously notified. And unless there’s an extremely special circumstance, workers aren’t allowed to bring kids home themselves. We’ve got a couple of spare car seats, though, just in case. If there were ever an emergency, then any one of the staff could go at anytime to bring a child to where they need to be, as there are more than plenty of people on call. I was thinking right now might be one of those times, because pick-up time is six, and right now it’s six thirty-five and Sebastian is literally the only one left.

“And she’s usually here by now?” I asked my mother, who was with me waiting at the check-in desk. I was referring to Sebastian’s grandmother, Donna, whose name is first on his pick-up list.

“Usually, yes. But there’s been no call telling me that she’s running late, or if there’s been an accident. This hasn’t happened in the few months that Sebastian’s been coming here, not once. I'm a little worried, Frank.” She whispered the last part to me, honestly. I was worried, too, but more for the sanity of Sebastian. It’s bad enough this kid is secluded from the group and doesn’t even have any friends, but now he’s left here at the end of the day without notice? That just sucks, plain and simple. “I've even tried calling all four contacts, twice, and no one’s picked up! I left voice messages, but it’s not like those will do any good if they don’t answer their phones!” She continued on sounding frustrated.

I groaned, hating that he was just in the other room ignoring all of staff girls who had been fussing over him for more than twenty minutes. I left mom to herself and went to see if I could go and save Sebastian. Sure enough, the poor kid looked more stressed than ever with his trusty blanket wrapped all the way around his torso and a thumb in his mouth. Cora was getting him some apple juice and Jessica had popped him some popcorn, and kept inching a bowl towards him while she kept most of the bag for herself. Abbey had put a movie on, Shrek, and kept asking if he liked it over and over. I bet he was ready to crack.

“Okay, ladies, you’re free to go. The boss has given it the okay, get outta here!” I said, trying to sound somewhat funny instead of incredibly rude. Two out of the three shot up, said their goodbyes to me and Sebastian, and left the room in a minute flat. I guess they had a life to attend to. But Cora stayed, and gently putting the little boy’s cup down next to him and walked over to me looking as concerned as I felt.

“Nothing?” She asked me quietly, hoping Sebastian couldn’t hear or at least wasn’t paying attention to us. My lips pressed themselves into each other and I shook my head in confirmation.

“Not even a phone call.” I replied, crossing my arms over my chest. Not even a god damned phone call. She didn’t say anything as she looked back over to him with sad eyes, arms wrapped around herself as her hands rubbed her upper arms. It was good to know that she at least cared about his well being, too, but it wasn’t fair for her to stay here when she didn’t need to. “You can head out, too, y’know. I've got this.” I whispered, inching a little closer so I could use a quieter tone.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying…” she said, hesitantly. I unfolded my arms and ran my tattooed fingers through my greasy hair. Before saying anything I took a second to watch Sebastian. I don’t think he was watching Shrek, because he had this blank expression all over his face. He looked completely zoned out. He wasn’t even sucking his thumb; it was just stuck in there. But I could see his hand clutching his blanket with a death grip.

“Yeah, I've got it…” I whispered, tearing my eyes off of the child. I wasn’t exactly sure if I did ‘have it’, but I'd never know unless I tried, right? I'm mostly here to work with the kids, other than the fact that it pays, and I need to learn how to deal with all different kinds of behaviors and emotions. When better to start than the present? She nodded and gave him one last look before patting me on the shoulder and silently leaving. I took a deep breath and then walked over to sit next to him.

What should I say? What could I say? I didn’t want to make him any more nervous than he already was. I didn’t want him to completely flip his lid, either. I'd like to say that a little more than a week helped me get to know him better, but it would be complete bullshit. The most he’s opened up to me was that one and only smile I'd gotten. Maybe it would be better to just sit here with him. Not say anything at all. I don’t think either of us would mind and quiet time. I let out a shaky breath and eased myself onto a chair that was two seats away from him and decided to space out along with him.

We only stayed that way for another five minutes, though, because soon the bell connected to the main entrance rang through the entire daycare center. Sebastian didn’t even flinch, but I sprang up out of my seat. I was ready to chew whoever was picking this kid up a new one. I glanced over at him one last time before storming into the lobby ready to freak the fuck out. My fists were balled and my face was probably bright red with anger. But when I saw this guy, this stranger, standing there with this absolutely hopeless look on his face I froze up. All I could do was stand there as he blubbered on to my mom about how sorry he was. He couldn’t really get out a coherent sentence. The hair in his face was sticking to his forehead from sweat, and his shirt clung to his torso with what looked to be coffee spilt all over the front of it. His pants too, khaki’s, covered in ‘coffee’. He kept muttering something about his brother, and how his phone died, how he didn’t know. He’s a mess. But instead of making any more of a scene than he already was, I silently turned around and went back to the Toddler Room where Sebastian was still in his seat and not watching the movie. I took my same spot as before and rubbed my hands over my face, trying not to groan out loud. I actually felt embarrassed for getting mad in the first place. Sure, nothing peeves me off more than an unhappy child, or an unfit parent, but who was I to judge their lives? I didn’t even know their life! So someone’s late for the first time in years, we all have bad days. We all slip up. I needed to learn to control my anger, I guess.

It took about five minutes, but finally both my mom and whoever this guy was to Sebastian emerged into the room, making me look up from my gaze at the wall. Mom looked as if nothing was the matter, while you could tell that the man had been upset earlier. I stood up, awkwardly, and tried to give them a smile as some sort of a greeting.

“Sebastian, daddy’s here. Time to go home, honey!” she told him, sweetly. The guy, Sebastian’s dad, pushed his black hair out of his face and pressed his lips together, kind of like a make-shift smile of some sort. I walked over to the television set and took out the DVD before shutting everything down, not having to pretend to watch anything anymore. Sebastian had pulled his thumb out of his mouth and instead of the constant blank stare I'd always seen, there was a sad look in his eyes. He unraveled his blanket from himself, stood up, and then slowly walked over to his dad without a word. The man didn’t say anything either, except for a quiet ‘Thanks’ and then they were gone, just like that.