The Center

Frank:

My mom finally told me about Sebastian’s past last night. She said that he and his dad had moved to New Jersey two years ago after Sebastian’s mother died in a fatal car accident on her way to work, devastating not only the husband and son she left behind, but her in-laws as well. She told me that Donna Way had a breakdown the day she signed Sebastian up for The Center, revealing almost everything to do with Gerard’s personal life when it came to his late wife and introverted child.

Mrs. Way told mom that Gerard had once been a big shot children’s author and illustrator who had moved out to L.A. as soon as he’d graduated college. She told mom how she had barely heard from her eldest son in over two years before he phoned her to say that he was engaged to a beautiful woman. Lindsey, I think my mom said her name was. She said that Lindsey quickly helped Gerard get involved with his family back home in Jersey again, something to do with her want of a bigger family due to the lack of her own. Donna said she and her daughter-in-law to be became fast friends. They’d planned the whole wedding together, and then when it came time for a baby shower a year later, Donna flew down to throw a surprise party for the daughter she’d never had. Everyone in the family was ecstatic when Sebastian was born, Gerard and Lindsey couldn’t be happier with their lives. Mom even said that Donna had assured her that once upon a time Sebastian was one of the loudest, most energetic toddlers she’s ever met. When Lindsey died, though, everything changed.

Mom said that Gerard spiraled into a depression to the point where Mr. Way had to go to L.A. to get him and Sebastian to take back to New Jersey to keep a safe watch over. The two of them just stopped functioning. Neither spoke, nor interacted with anyone. They hardly ate. All Gerard did was slept while all Sebastian wanted to do was cuddle with his blue blanket that his mommy had given him. Donna could tell that neither of them were mentally stable, and forced them to go to therapy both together and separately. Seeing how the two of them act now, I can only assume that their behaviors have progressed compared to their previous, which must have been too much for anyone else to possibly bear.

My mom told me all of this so I’d have a better understanding of the internally suffering child I had come to care for. She said that in the beginning she never thought it was necessary to share such a private story with any one of her employees, as she never imagined Sebastian would latch onto anyone like he had to me. She’d asked Donna’s permission before telling me, after informing Gerard about what happened yesterday during naptime. Everyone was just as shocked as we were about the boy’s outburst, but his family had a better idea of the cause.

I learned that the night before last Sebastian had had a nightmare. Gerard, who had surprised me by coming to pick his son up, had told mom that the boy had awoken the entire household from his terrible dream, but wouldn’t tell anyone what it was about. This didn’t happen often, but when it did Donna would always rock him to sleep. Afterward he would refuse sleep as long as his little body would allow, sometimes for days.

This is where I came in.

Mom explained to me that Sebastian, for some reason, has chosen me out of all of the other helpers at The Center to be the one he’s most comfortable with. ‘There’s something in you that he’s opening up to.’ she told me. And I’m not confused because I don’t think of myself as a great guy, because I’ve got my moments, but overall I’m not half bad.

I’m just not sure why, is all I keep thinking.

I went to bed last night feeling solemn. All of my built up rage toward my cousin had completely disappeared and new thoughts about Gerard and Sebastian consumed my brain. I remembered my very brief interactions with the man and how socially awkward he had come off. Could it even be possible that he was once a lively young man who may have actually enjoyed life? Or little Sebastian, was he really just like every other child he went to daycare with deep inside?

It baffled my mind to no extent.

Today, I arrived to my job early again, but this was because I couldn’t really sleep. I was the very first person there. The only person there so far, even before my mother. Usually I wasn’t trusted with the keys to open the entire daycare myself, but mom thought that today she was allowed to make the exception. For that, I was extremely grateful.

But as soon as I settled myself in, I didn’t feel at ease.

The silence clawed at my brain, the emptiness devoured my entire body in one big gulp. It seemed so unnatural that a place meant solely for the wellbeing of children was now vacant of them, but filled to the brim with my overcast thoughts. And it honestly wasn’t even my life that I was worrying over. I was still so concerned for the entire Way family, that I guess it was taking a toll on my very own well-being.

Why was I suddenly so invested?

I’d realized that I most definitely had a soft spot for little Sebastian, but learning about what he and the rest of his family had to go through just made me want to do everything and anything I could to help them with whatever they may need. I know it sounds completely ridiculous, too, but I couldn’t get it out of my head. I wanted to give Donna the vacation she deserved, and Mr. Way his first stress-free weekend in probably years. I wanted to see Sebastian break into a carefree grin and hear a genuine laugh. I wanted to take Gerard out and just be his friend.

But that’s all too unrealistic of me, isn’t it? It’d never happen. People just don’t grow fond feelings for others in one night, and the others most definitely accept the warmth of a practical stranger with open arms. Nothing is ever that easy. No one is ever that trusting or trust-worthy.

So why was I so hell-bent on doing something about it?

-

Soon enough workers filed in with children not far behind, waiting to be signed in so they could try to fit in some make-believe time before breakfast. I felt somewhat distant this morning, but I think I did my best to try to put on my normal happy-go-lucky face because nobody came up to ask me if anything was wrong. The Tuesday routine played out normally without any unusual problems and as the day went on I felt myself starting to ease back into the groove of things. I wasn’t even worried about nap time today.

Last night after informing me about Sebastian and his past, tuning me into what I was getting myself into, mom and I devised a plan. Because this was an extremely special circumstance, we both thought it best to remove the little guy from the nap room for the rest of the week. We’d set up a cot for him in the Toddler Room, and I’d stay just like I did the previous day. I just had to make sure he wasn’t distracted by anything in the room and would actually fall asleep. Then, next week we’d slowly put him back into the other room and go from there. Mom had talked about this with Mrs. Way and she thought it was the best solution for everyone. All we had to do now was see if it worked, but really, I wasn’t nervous. It just meant I’d have to take any earlier lunch break, which I was completely okay with.

I sat at one of the children’s tables with Sebastian as we waited for Seth to drag in a cot. I’d brought a book with me, ’The Turn of the Screw’, to catch up on reading while the boy slept, so that way I didn’t fall asleep out of boredom. Gerard had been right, too, because this book actually captivated me. I wasn’t half way through yet, but I have plenty of summer left, and I planned on devouring a good few pages today.

Sebastian had his blanket wrapped around his body, the tip of it barely reaching his nose for him to rub the worn fabric against his soft skin. He was sitting across from me but he didn’t want to make any eye contact. He just stared at the fake wooden table, with his usual blank expression. I sometimes struggle to come up with something to say to him, something to give us a chance to talk, but today I felt as if we didn’t need to talk at all. It felt like we had a comfortable silence going that shouldn’t be interrupted by a pointless babble.

As soon as his cot was ready and he and I were alone, though, he didn’t make a move.

“Okay champ, it’s time to go to sleep. C’mon, up little man, let’s go!” I quietly urged him, standing up myself. For a second or two, though, he didn’t make a move. He continued to stare. I opened my mouth again to encourage him take a nap, when he scooted his chair out and got up without a word. But instead of going to his makeshift bed, we went over to his cubby.

“No Sebastian, it isn’t play time. It’s nap time. Let’s go, buddy!” I said, going over to where his cubby was located. I could see that he was getting something out of his backpack, but whatever it was would go back away right away. I didn’t want to get in trouble for not doing my job! Plus, every six year old needs a nap and I didn’t want to take that away from him! I reached out to put a hand on his shoulder to direct him the other way when I saw what he was holding was a piece of paper. “What’s that?” I asked genuinely curious.

Instead of a verbal answer he held the paper up to me. Taking it in my hands so I wouldn’t crinkle it, I was careful. I rested all of my weight on one leg while standing, and finally gave my full attention to what I was looking at.

A hand drawn picture, that looked as if it was done solely in crayon, of a coffee cup complete with a smiley face on its side was holding hands with a small, also smiling, chocolate chip cookie. It was no Michael Angelo piece, but this kid had talent for such a young age. Now I knew it came from his father. I scanned the page more than once before my eyes finally fell on my own name at the bottom of it. And I could tell that he wrote it himself, too, but I was curious as to how he did it. Maybe Donna or Gerard had helped him?

I looked up in amazement, ready to thank Sebastian, and wanting to squeeze him out of love, but when I finally tore my eyes off of the picture, he was nowhere in sight. I panicked for half a second, searching the room frantically, when I spotted the boy. He was on his cot, blanket balled up and gripped in his little fist. His thumb was in his mouth, his hair tussled atop of his head, with a peaceful expression.

He looked like a little angel.

I smiled.