Sister of Syn

I slept on the couch at the front of the bus that night, forcing Zacky to share his bunk with Matt. I didn't speak to Zacky at all the next morning, and as soon as we arrived in Dallas, I dragged the girls and Matt to the nearest mall for some shopping.

I knew it was stupid to be mad at Zacky all over again for something that happened five years ago, but I couldn't help it. I always got angry when I was hurt. In my opinion, anger was so much better than breaking down in tears.

"Oh my God!" Matt complained after we'd been in Hot Topic for nearly two hours. "Just fucking pick one and let's go."

"Quit your bitchin'!" I called from inside one of the dressing rooms.

Mickie, Kristy, Jeanie, and I were trying on corsets. I understood that Matt was bored. However, he couldn't leave. This mall was huge! We might never find him again.

"You girls have looked good in every thing you've tried on," Matt said. "So just buy one already."

"That's real sweet, Matt," Jeanie returned. "But we can't look 'good.' We have to look perfect."

Matt grumbled something that none of us could hear.

"Okay." One of the dressing room doors opened. "How do I look?"

Mickie, Jeanie, and I stuck our heads out of our rooms. Kristy was standing in front of Matt, wearing a dark green silk corset edged at the top with black lace.

"It's perfect," Mickie said. Matt, Jeanie, and I nodded in agreement.

Just as we all got back in our dressing rooms, Jeanie's cell rang. "Hello?" she said. There was a pause. "Yeah. Hang on." Her door opened. "Melia, your brother wants to talk to you."

I walked out and took the phone from Jeanie. "What do you want?"

"Are you coming to rehearsal at all today?" Brian demanded.

"Um, no." I studied my reflection in the full-length mirror on the wall near the dressing rooms. I was in a corset covered in buckles and straps. It looked kind of like a straight jacket, minus the sleeves. "Why? Do you guys need me there?"

"It would be nice to have our guest vocalist here," he said.

"Bri, I'm onstage for about two minutes. It's not like I'm gonna screw up," I stated matter-of-factly.

Brian was silent for a moment and I heard a door close on his end of the line. "Why are you really staying away?"

I sighed. I should've known he would realize something was wrong. He knew me better than anyone. I hesitated, trying to come up with a lie he would believe. I couldn't tell him I was mad at Zacky. If I did, I would have to admit that I liked Zacky and that piece of info might cause problems.

"Is it Shads?" Brian asked suddenly.

"What?" I exclaimed. I had been so focused on hiding my crush on Zacky that the question caught me by surprise.

"Well, you've always loved rehearsals," Brian reasoned. "Then, last night, you and Shads have this moment on the dance floor and you skip rehearsal the very next day. I don't think that's a coincidence."

"No," I said. "Bri, it's not Shads. It's...nothing. I'll be there in half an hour." I snapped Jeanie's cell shut. "Girls, pick your favorite corset and let's go."

"Thank God!" Matt cheered.

Kristy bought her dark green corset. Jeanie got a purple one; Mickie got a crimson red one, and I chose my corset with the bondage straps.

"What did you buy?" Johnny yelled when we walked into the concert venue twenty-five minutes later.

"Clothes," Matt muttered, plopping down in a front row seat.

"Duh," Shadsy said. "They're female. What else would they buy?"

Brian looked at Jeanie, dark eyes gleaming with interest. "Are they clothes that show off that sexy body?"

Jeanie smirked. "Oh yeah."

"I can't wait to see you in them," Brian murmured.

Jimmy's gaze was fixed on Kristy. "And I can't wait to see you out of them," he remarked. Kristy giggled.

I rolled my eyes. "Do you four need to be excused?"

"Probably," Jimmy responded. "Unless you'd like to watch."

"Jimmy." Brian's voice held a hint of warning.

Jimmy raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I know, I know. I shouldn't say these things in front of your sister."

"Whatever." I climbed onto the stage. "Let's just get this rehearsal over with."

I noticed Zacky watching me and my heart fluttered in my chest. I had to remind myself that I was pissed. I turned my back on him and ignored him for the remainder of the rehearsal.

*****

The instant I stepped out into the spotlight that night, I wanted to turn around and run back off the stage. Zacky and Shadsy were both staring at me in a very intent way. I wasn't sure whose gaze unnerved me more.

I stayed as close to Brian as I could without alerting him to the fact that something was wrong. I thought this would prevent Shadsy and Zacky from doing anything stupid, but I was wrong.

I had barely gotten out my first line when Shadsy approached me, grasped my hand, and backed to the center of the stage, tugging me along with him, his eyes never leaving my face.

"I'll do whatever you want me to do--" he sang. He stopped walking and pulled me forward so that our bodies were almost touching.

"Well then I'll break you unchained..." I intoned, raising my eyes until they met his.

"--and if it's not enough," he continued, tracing my jawline with his fingertips.

"If it's not enough," I breathed, heart racing in my chest.

"If it's not enough, try again. And again," he sang, with me echoing each line.

"Over and over again!" we concluded in unison.

Suddenly, Brian was there, shoving between Shadsy and me. The look he threw at Shadsy was less than friendly.

I tried to get to the side of the stage without being noticed, wanting to put as much space between Shadsy and myself as was possible. However, Zacky blocked my path, stopping my escape.

"Move," I snapped, glaring at him.

He brushed past me, murmuring "You're not done" in my ear as he went. I was momentarily confused. Then Zacky strode to Brian's abandoned microphone and growled, "Do you take this man in death for the rest of your unnatural life?"

"Yes, I do," was out of my mouth automatically.

Zacky asked the question again and Shadsy gave his answer while looking at me curiously. Brian was glowering at Shadsy. I wanted to cry. Now there was going to be a problem between Shadsy and Brian, and it was all my fault.

Tears stinging my eyes, I practically ran off the stage.

"Melia!?" Jeanie, Matt, Kristy, and Mickie all cried, but I didn't stop.

I navigated the labyrinth of hallways until I found a room at the very back of the venue. I ducked into the safety of the silent darkness and shut the door softly.

*****

Nearly forty-five minutes had gone by. I knew the show was over, and I knew Brian was probably looking for me--if he wasn't murdering Shadsy. I was sitting on the floor in the corner farthest from the door. I had left the lights off. I didn't want to be found. I didn't think I could stand being around anyone right now. Jeanie, Kristy, Mickie, Brian, and Matt would interrogate me, and I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't know what Shadsy would do if I was around him, but I could bet it would be something to make me uncomfortable.

Finally, there was a knock on the door. I stayed quiet, hoping that whoever it was would go away.

"C'mon, Baby Gates," Shadsy coaxed. "I know you're in there."

"Go away!" I said.

The door opened and the light came on. I blinked against the sudden brightness. Shadsy walked in and closed the door behind him.

"Go away," I repeated.

"No," he refused. "We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," I stated.

"There is plenty to talk about," he argued.

Exhaling loudly, I got to my feet. "I have nothing to say to you, and I don't want to hear anything that's going to come out of your mouth."

"You don't have a choice," he said, crossing the room.

I took a step back and found myself against the wall. Shadsy reached the place where I stood and grabbed my arms just below the shoulders. He pulled me to him and kissed me in a way that made my knees weak.

For a few seconds I returned the kiss, concentrating on how good it felt instead of on how big a mistake it was. Then I realized what I was doing and who I was doing it with. I pushed Shadsy away. "What the hell?!" I exclaimed angrily.

"Melia, you knew this was coming," he said, slightly breathless. "Don't act like you didn't."

I shook my head. "No, I didn't. Shads...this is wrong."

"Why?" he demanded.

"Because," I said. "You're Shadsy. You're my Shad-Man. You're like a second brother to me."

"Bullshit," he scoffed. "You haven't viewed me like a brother in a long time, and I definitely don't view you as my baby sister anymore." He drew me close to him again. "Besides, you've been begging for this for the last three days and I've been very eager to give you what you want."

I wrenched free of his grip. "You're wrong. I don't want anything from you. Just leave me alone. I don't like you and I never will!" I started for the door.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Zacky's the one you want to fuck," Shadsy remarked.

I ignored him and breezed out of the room.